<p>I was contacted by an alumni and scheduled an interview with him; however, he scheduled it to be at his house.
My mother doesn't feel to comfortable about this. How should I handle this?
I thought I could bring my mom to the interview and have her sit somewhere outside of wherever the interview takes place.</p>
<p>Any suggestions?? :/</p>
<p>Interviewers generally don’t take offense if you offer to meet them at a public place.</p>
<p>I would ask to meet somewhere else. I would not have your mom stick around if possible. I’ve had an interview at the person’s house, and it wasn’t bad at all, but I can understand your mom’s concern</p>
<p>I am surprised that an interviewer would put themself in that position of having a young person at there home for the meeting. I would definitely ask for a public meeting.</p>
<p>My son’s Brown Alum interview was also at the the guys house. I sat out in the car reading a book while my son was interviewing. They really should be a neutral place, but the alum turned out to be a very nice gentleman and it went great. He doesn’t have to know she’s right outside. Hey, we only get to over protect you for such a short time ;)…</p>
<p>When I did went on college interviews several years ago, they all took place at the alumni’s homes. My father accompanied me on the first (he stayed in the car; I had yet to get my driver’s license at that point) but I went on my own in the subsequent ones. Personally, I think it’s really quite safe, esp if you tell your parents where you’re going to, and the information of the alum interviewer. </p>
<p>With that said, I understand that there is an off chance that something inappropriate can occur and some parents/applicants may feel a bit uncomfortable. This is my second year conducting interviews and I usually suggest a public space such as a cafe. With that said, there’s a downside to this as well, esp if you’re uncomfortable with a restaurant full of strangers hearing you divulge all sorts of personal information…</p>
<p>There was a long and heated debate about this topic last year. While there was plenty of “stranger danger” paranoia, some us advised that this might be a time to realize that HS seniors are soon to be independent, and will soon be in many adult-only situations.</p>
<p>Alumni interviewers are easily identified, and are doing this great service to benefit the students and the college, they are not stalkers, pervs, or predators.</p>
<p>If a parent is concerned, she or he can wait in the car in the driveway, then call out the SWAT forces if necessary.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone! My mom is still a little upset at the whole thing. I’m going to ask him to keep the same date and time but to switch the interview’s location to a nearby Starbucks. I’d feel a little comforted knowing that I at least tried (and so would my mom).</p>
<p>:] Thank you for understanding.</p>
<p>Don’t hesitate to blame it on your mom. I think if a kid I was going to interview called me up and said, "I don’t feel comfortable coming to your house for an interview, " I would understand, and be happy to meet her elsewhere, but in the back of my mind I would be a little insulted and I would have the idea that this kid was not my kind of person. If the kid said, "I’m so sorry. If it were just up to me, I would be happy to come to your house, but my mother is very uncomfortable about it, and I want to see whether I can accommodate her by switching locations, " I would switch locations and feel good about the kid and her attitude towards me and towards her mother.</p>
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<p>Agreed. Well said.</p>
<p>Agree totally with Fauve. Interviewing in a public place has some real downsides. Do you really think this interviewer is going to make a pass at you, in his home, where most likely his family will be around? It’s rather sexist to assume that all grown men can’t be trusted to engage in a conversation without doing something inappropriate. Would you make the same request if the interviewer were female?
And what, pray tell, will your mother do when you do go to college and there are all kinds of raunchy behavior going on right in your dorm room or down the hall? Give the guy a break and do the interview where it’s convenient for him; he’s doing you the favor.</p>
<p>Agree with JHS here. A much better solution than bringing your mother and having her sit in another room.</p>
<p>@dar5995: I disagree with your post, but (as a male) it reminded me of this interesting article:</p>
<p>[Lenore</a> Skenazy: Eek! A Male! - WSJ.com](<a href=“Lenore Skenazy: Eek! A Male! - WSJ”>Lenore Skenazy: Eek! A Male! - WSJ)</p>
<p>Why would you even want to bring your mother? If it is her idea, I would try to explain it is unneccesary and that it would not look good.</p>
<p>To the girl with overprotective Mom. You will be in college with tons of 17-23 year old guys with rooms right next to yours in 6 months–any of them are more likely to have designs on you then the poor alumni volunteering his time to help his alma mater. Mom, time to grow up and let your daughter act like a grown up-times have changed but common sense says this is not an item to worry about PERIOD!
My D just interviewed with someone in their homes twice for two top colleges-yes they were both female but these are people who work for Cornell, are alumni and have interviewed dozens if not 100s of prospective students. If he tried ANYTHING at all, you have his name and email to give to the police- its not like he can abduct you and keep you held in his basement like silence of the lambs-lol. Sorry to be insensitive to Mom but I am digging at my wife at same time as she would probably initially say same thing til I told her it might REALLY insult the guy. I mean plus you would have a million bucks law suit against him and the school IMHO.
Your mom needs to know you are a grown up now and you can handle it if you get to the house and anything looks unsavory at all, then I would go back to my car and email from my smartphone to the interviewer stating that you would prefer a different location.
My guess, you will find a kindler super friendly older chap-like the one who came to my house from Cornell to interview me 32 years ago (I got wait listed to Ag/Life Sci-still have not gotten over it and I did not accept wait list for indignity as I was a legacy) and was the nicest old man I ever met.
Good luck regardless where it is.</p>
<p>I had the same thing happen to me. My sister stayed outside to wait for me and it was fine. As above post said, if you chose to go to Harvard be prepared to see half-naked men roaming around your dorm halls because the bathrooms in some dorms are on the same floor as you.</p>
<p>Daughter had an alumni interview for an LAC in his home. His wife was present. He lived in our neighborhood! I wasn’t concerned, and my daughter had no problem with it.
I’d much prefer my kid interview in the interviewer’s home than in our own home, which our Brown interviewer requested. That actually made me uncomfortable, wondering if our home ( and we) passed muster.</p>
<p>I have interviewed in my home only once and have conducted dozens of others in a local coffee chain. There is an obvious “power imbalance” in this situation and a “neutral” location is chosen by me as a courtesy to the applicant. The arguments that the applicant should get over the concern about being vulnerable (sexually or otherwise) since she will soon be seeing half naked men roaming around [your] dorm halls is nonsense. I can’t control that but I can suggest a public interview location that causes no concern. The suggestion to change locations out of respect for her mother is a very reasonable one and yet I’m sorry she was put into that situation in the first place.</p>
<p>waitlistman: wow! You still hold that grudge?</p>
<p>Anyway, I (a female) have been to several interviews at male alumni’s offices–after normal work hours, with no one around. I didn’t feel anxious at all. You’ve got to consider the fact that at a cafe there will be other people around which can be sort of awkward. It doesn’t really bother me but people might have issues disclosing all kinds of personal info with other people around them.</p>
<p>Perhaps google stalk your interviewer–see what his job is, if he has a blog or tons of fb friends? Might assuage your mom’s (and your) worries.</p>
<p>Mine was at his house— err mansion in Beverly Hills but it was really cool</p>