Interviews and thank you notes - please help!

Please help me convince my sons that it is the correct thing to do to send a thank you note after an interview. They don’t agree. The oldest is in college and applying for campus jobs and internships. The younger one is a senior and is setting up college admissions interviews. I think it is expected that they should send a thank you note to the person that interviewed them. I am assuming that email thank you notes are acceptable these days, but I’d love to hear your opinion on how best to send the correspondence, as well. Thank you!

I agree with you. This isn’t about doing what’s “done,” or expedient, but doing what is right. And it is always kind to send a thank you note, whether or not it helps your position. A handwritten note is very thoughtful, but I think email is fine.

Agree, a short e-mail (short being the operative word) thanking the person(s) for meeting is absolutely appropriate. I actually expect that from people that I interview and would assume that no thank you meant the person wasn’t that interested in the job. I sometimes get a snail mailed note, but honestly in all the years it’s been mostly women that have done that…and honestly it doesn’t sway me more than a short succinct email.

I would ask your sons - what is the downside to sending a thank you note or email?

I can’t think of one!

Most often, I’ve seen the “thank you letter” being defended as a “very small chance of helping you, but can’t hurt” requirement. But honestly, how much it “can’t hurt” is dependent on the person. If the applicant is someone for whom sending that thank you letter means agonizing over how to properly kiss up to the employer for an hour, and will end up making them spend less time actually applying to more jobs, then it’s probably a net positive for them to skip it and move on. We all have a tendency to micro-optimize on “how can we squeeze half a percent more chance out of getting this one job” rather than macro-optimizing on “how can we apply for more jobs that we have a solid chance of being extended an offer for?”

That said, if they aren’t the kind of person for whom that is a problem, then they really should do it.

I’m old school. I still send my thank you notes by the mail. I do however send them via USPS priority so I can have a tracking number and it could get there faster.

Why doesn’t he want to send one?

Thank you for all the thoughtful responses! @sensation723 - my sons simply don’t believe that other students send thank you notes.

You should tell him if he believes others don’t do it that he would stand out even more for doing so.

My boys wrote short emails, thanking college admissions interviewers, and anyone else who spent substantial time with them, like the professor who gave tours of arts or music facilities, professors who allowed them to sit in on class, etc. Also, thank you emails for internships interviews etc. An easy way to confirm interest – no downside whatsoever.

Mine do need to be reminded though . . . .

A thank you note is common practice and email is acceptable so it just takes a moment to do.

IMO, this shouldn’t be overthought in terms of 'how much of an increased chance", etc. It is simply good manners to send a note of appreciation to the person who gave you their time and attention. Period.

My daughter always sends a thank you email which she uses as a place to repeat her case (very succinctly - thanks for taking the time to meet with me as I mentioned at the interview …) She tries to do it within 24 hours.

I am employed in my current job BECAUSE I sent an email thank you note after the job interview. None of the other candidates did that. After I was hired, the hiring manager told me that my thank you email was what put me to the top of the list.

A thank you note/email after a college interview is a good idea, in my opinion, for the following reasons:

  1. You (the student/applicant) are asking the college to admit you. Saying thank you for the opportunity to interview with them is one way of putting your best foot forward.
  1. It's good manners & it's the polite and right thing to do. Teenagers might not care, but the high school senior isn't doing the interview with another teenager. You're interviewing with an adult...with somebody who might have a say in whether or not you get admitted to that university.
  2. Piggy backing on #2 - if the college is one of your top picks to attend, why WOULDN'T you formally send a thank you to the interviewer?
  3. There are 2 basic lessons that we all learn in preschool/kindergarten: say PLEASE and THANK YOU. Tell your child that if he does NOTHING ELSE with the rest of his life, he should ALWAYS say 'please' and 'thank you.' He should do it at work with coworkers, at school with professors & grad student-TA's, with fellow students & friends, with family members, and with people he just met. It is far easier to attract bees with honey than vinegar.
  4. Your son needs to understand that these college interviews are kind of like his first formal steps out into the big wide world of adulting. AND while he's doing this, he is not only representing himself, but he is representing his family. And he is representing his high school. And one of the best ways to honor yourself, your family, and your community is to treat others with respect....which you do in an interview situation by sending a formal thank you to the interviewer after the interview is over. WHY? Because the interviewer could have done a million other things with his/her time instead. He/she could have interviewed somebody else or gone on a walk or done some other work in the Admissions Office. OR if the interviewer is a member of the college's alumni network, then this is all the more reason to send a formal thank you because the interviewer in such cases is basically volunteering his/her time out of the kindness of his/her heart....and you SHOULD say thank you for that.

I forgot to add:

Sending an email thank you is just fine and is an acceptable replacement to sending a hand written thank you note via regular snail mail. The email does not have to be very long. Just a couple of sentences is sufficient. Something like this is probably ok:

"Dear ____,

Thank you so much for speaking with me earlier today/yesterday about my application to _NameofCollege. It was a pleasure meeting you. I am very excited about the opportunity to ___ (say something about your major, areas of interest, or anything you want to say about College X) at College X. Thanks again for your time.

Sincerely,

First Name, Last Name
email address
phone #"

Thanks again for all the very helpful responses! Especially the thank you note template, @tucsonmom . I showed this thread to both of my sons and I think they are finally getting the message!

Late to the party, but yes, yes, yes, send an email. DH does new hires and makes a note if they do, or do not, follow up their interview. He considers it a judgement on their attention to detail. And S2’s employer also mentioned when he was offered the job that they were impressed at his timely responses and follow up email.

My two sons are note-writers. Recipients have remarked to me about them. It never hurts to be polite.

Nobody in my world sends thank you notes for interviews, and the idea of sending one Priority Mail with tracking is beyond imaginable for me.

I have been hired for several very selective positions, likewise my grown children, also numerous admissions to prep schools and colleges in our family.

OP - apologies for lateness. I’m a HS senior having college interviews and my counselor tells me I should always send an email thank you note. I’ve done so for every interview this year.

Who suggested sending a note Priority Mail?

I actually think it’s kind of sad that no one sends thank you notes in your world. I think they are a basic courtesy and there is absolutely no downside to sending one. It’s a wonderful feeling to get a nice note after hosting a friend for the weekend or treating someone to lunch.

I stand by my original statement that a thank you note is always appropriate after an interview