Introverted daughter at Hamilton

My daughter is going to be a senior at Hamilton next year. The problem is, she has had trouble making friends. She is quite shy, and she thought the friends in her group during the pandemic were her “people”, but once the campus opened up a little, she found they were a bit busy for her. She spent a pretty lonely fall semester. She is studying abroad this semester and LOVING it. She’s met a nice group of friends, and she’s quite happy. What bothers me is that she has told
Me she feels senior year is too late to join clubs (she has tried a few, but none of them ended up meeting regularly- don’t know if that’s the pandemic?), and she said if she spends a year by herself just going to class and getting her degree, she will be ok.

I know I need to let her figure this out,but as her mother I can’t help but think they’re a got to be a club or something where she can meet new people! (She tried counseling at school, but they could only see her about once a month because they were so busy.)

I know there are some long-time Hamilton posters on this board, maybe some who may have suggestions. I thought she might like the outdoor club, but though she enjoys hiking and camping, she’s not super experienced and I think her shyness abs insecurity are getting the best of her. If anyone has thoughts to share, even if it’s not Hamilton-specific, I would Love to hear them.

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Not a Hamilton family but I would say definitely not too late to join a club or activity! My D is going to be doing research her senior year in a big lab and may also join the chem e car team. At a college, membership is always changing as people are graduating and new people come to campus. My D has friends of all different ages at school.

Good luck to your D. I hope she finds her people!

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My son is not at Hamilton, but after breaking up with a long term girlfriend and his closest friends studying abroad first semester of senior year due to covid, he found himself sort of starting over this(his senior) year. He is super introverted so making friends isn’t always easy for him. Although he felt a bit self conscience joining a new club as a senior, he decided to do it anyway. After getting past the initial awkwardness of being both a senior and a rookie, it ended up being the best thing he could have ever done. He has made some great new friends. It definitely is not easy for an introvert to take this step, but it really can make a difference. Good luck to your D!

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Thank you! These words are reassuring. I’ll try to convince her that it’s never too late!

An introvert may be particularly well suited to expanding her experiences through academics. As examples, Hamilton’s geosciences department offers courses with a required field trip, and its religious studies department offers an immersive few days off campus for its course Religion in the Wild.

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Great suggestion! Thank you.

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My daughter is an introvert but managed to find good friends throughout college. As a senior, she continued going to new campus events, even when her friends didn’t want to go. She can try a cooking club, an art night, a board game night, or a hiking club. Those all tend to be pretty easy to just turn up and join in.

Thanks. Sounds like your daughter had great experiences. Hoping my daughter will put herself out there!! Thanks for the encouragement.

My kid was not at Hamilton but a similar school. The social structure tends to be pretty fluid and because it’s a small school, people are happy to connect with new people. Tons of kids sign up for tons of clubs to sample and see what grabs them. Your D can definitely explore, even as a senior!

You might want to suggest that she look for activities that will bring her in contact with the same people repeatedly such as a job on campus (bookstore, lab, etc), or a group that volunteers – with kids, at the ASPCA, in the local community. That kind of social contact may be less stressful for her.

But right now, I would simply remind her that it’ll be another fresh start. There’s nothing about being a senior that will mean she can’t try new things and make it a good year.

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