<p>Hi, lately I have been focusing more and more on the fact that I am always alone in school. Don't get me wrong, but I have friends its just, I always find myself getting disappointed at them for various reasons. And when I am alone, I just want to not be lonely and inteact with people.</p>
<p>Do any of you have any advice on how to either accept the lonliness that comes from not liking anyone or to just accept their flaws and not look for a perfect friend</p>
<p>I know I can be a bad friend at times. When's I am only surrounded by 2-6 people and we are doing something long or difficult such as a 8 mile run for track, I overcome their flaws and I can accept I really enjoy their company.</p>
<p>I am just confused lol</p>
<p>I don’t think your situation is so unusual. College isn’t like it is portrayed in movies or on TV, constantly social. One of the skill sets you are learning in college is how to make and find friends. There are periods when you are more alone. </p>
<p>As far as how to find people, I’d say get involved in groups. Like politics? Get involved in a campaign. Are you religious or did you grow up in a religion? Join a college church group. Are you interested in food? Join a dining out group. You get the picture. I would also recommend trying intramurals and sports training groups because there is a little more structure, the interactions are not as free form. That would give you a chance to watch people and give you some material for conversation. You can always talk about the last game you played. </p>
<p>Change college to high school. Same thing applies.</p>
<p>
Examples? I’m trying to figure out if the problem is with you or them. </p>
<p>@Lizardly thanks, I do think that common interests will help</p>
<p>@halcyonheather Have you ever read The Catcher in the Rye? If you have I feel like everyone around me is a phony, I judge people way too much, one small flaw such as cutting the line at lunch can make me very angry. Another example of the cause of my disappointment is people who are abandon old friends in order to fit in by hanging out with more popular friends. Sometimes I just feel like everyone is out to get me.</p>
<p>Feel free to ask anymore questions, I really want to solve this before college</p>
<p>I guess I have this problem on some level, in that I put other people on pedestals and feel sort of let down when they don’t meet my “expectations.” For example, I get weirded out when other people swear even though I swear myself. It helps to realize that other people are basically the same as me, and they only seem different because I can’t look into their minds to see what their thoughts and motives are. You shouldn’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides.</p>
<p>Run more. </p>
<p>After your edit, I think that is part of the answer. You and your track team friends can bond through the suffering and the achievement of running all those miles. Eight miles is some great time spent together. I am a runner. Some of my best friends are my running buddies. The funny thing is we have completely different political views and jobs and lives, but we have all those miles in common.</p>
<p>Also don’t worry about perfection in your friends so much. Everybody is flawed.</p>
<p>One way to think about things: No one is perfect, but everyone has something to offer. Use what they offer and bond at that point. If you become closer, then you can address the parts where you may differ via friendly discussion. Often, you or the other person will change their mind as reasons are revealed for actions. Either you improve them, they improve you, or neither and nothing is lost. The point is, you can always find things to bond over with a good deal of people. Some perhaps not, but when you know someone offers something of value to you, don’t get stuck on what isn’t perfect about them.</p>
<p>“Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.” - Bill Nye</p>
<p>Accept them because I’m sure they think you’re a mess to. Also don’t accept loneliness. Trust me! I did that and I hang out with 4 people now instead of 8-10 (partially I found out who my real friends are) I’ve become antisocial if I don’t have a friend in any of my classes I get depressed and skip that class(es) a lot. I’m a junior in high school. I’m making up with this by slowly talking more and getting out of my introvert shell I build. Let’s say senior year for me is all about being out there.</p>
<p>Here’s what I do:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>Work out at the gym.</p></li>
<li><p>Make myself a ridiculous fool by talking to random strangers (mostly women) and asking them ridiculous questions, then introducing myself.</p></li>
<li><p>Eat more.</p></li>
<li><p>Meditate.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>It’ll get you in the mindset.</p>
<p>
Hmm. I know what it’s like to feel like the name “friend” doesn’t apply to someone that you call a friend. When someone thinks about what a friend is supposed to encompass, I think that raises our expectations. We’re all people, after all. But I think it’s important to realize that our imperfections are half of who we are. But if you have good reasons to feel this way about someone, than it might be them, not you.</p>
<p>@ awakeningvenus This past week, I found that studying for AP exams, that I made new friends on college confidential, and in google docs, where people were reviewing as a group. Although I only communicated with them by text, I cherished those friends more than my actual friends.</p>
<p>I think that means that it is my high expectations, therefore because I did not meet my friends on the internet I did not actually get a chance to find flaws. </p>
<p>Anyone else have an opion </p>