It’s my first year in university so I decided to live on campus to be close to everything and learn my way around school (since after all I have to be here for the next three or so years). I decided to get a roommate to save money and also potentially meet some new people.
However, my roommate seems to be the most irritating person that I have ever come across in my entire life. She is so obnoxious and inconsiderate and I don’t think that I can take it any longer. She goes back home every weekend but still decides to leave all of the lights on her side of the room still on (even during night time). She has string lights around her bed and a bright desk light that she never turns off. Her desk is right underneath her bed so when she is sleeping, she does not see how bright the lights are but they shine directly in my face. She also never turns off her coffeemaker which has a really bright, blue light that gives me a headache and lights up the entire room 24/7. She doesn’t even drink coffee. She never leaves the room during the week and is always just sitting at her desk no matter what time of day it is.
Last night, I went to bed at around 11:30 pm because I had a class that starts at around 9 so I wake up at around 7:30am. But at around 12:30, she woke me up because she just stomped in the room and turned on like three different lights and her laptop and sat in front of it until like 2 in the morning. Obviously, I couldn’t sleep and could not fall asleep until 5am because I was wide awake after that. So now, I am back from class (its about 11am) and I wanted to take a nap because I have a Calculus exam tonight at 8pm and I’ve only had about 2-3 good hours of sleep. I still need to study and my brain can’t focus on anything because of my lack of sleep. I’ve asked her to turn off the lights and she says “sure” but then does not turn them off. I’ve asked my RA about it and she said that I could not do anything about it because it was “her room too”. Like, who cares?? If it’s getting in the way of my academic work then she should have to go somewhere else to study. Mind you, this is a really big residential and there are literally 25 study rooms (5 on each floor) that she could have used but she didn’t. She does this all the time and I know there is only like 4 weeks left in the semester but I don’t know how I will last that long with her. She is so irritating and I hope I never have to see her again.
I’m sorry you are going through this. My daughter went through something similar and we all knew it was a problem in October, yet it took so many more months to be resolved. Maybe you can request a mediation. RA’s also have supervisors that can help as well.
This is the part about being an adult that is hard- living with other adults and learning to be reasonable, considerate and having to compromise, all while communicating respectfully throughout the process.
You are almost at the finish line. If you can just hang in there for another month, since you’ve made it this long, you will be done with the roomie. Learn from this experience. Think about your part in it and how you can do better in a situation that comes up and much sooner than this time. Seek out a counselor on campus they can be incredibly helpful in these situations for you to process the frustration and emotions around this. Be well and finish strong.
Many of these issues you should be able to remediate with the help of your RA. And there is just a month left in the semester so hopefully you have a better situation lined up for next year.
I already have an eyemask. The lights are just bright enough to where they still wake me up even when I’m wearing it. Plus, she’s not quiet either so I wake up from the noise as well.
Talk to her during the day. "I was wondering if after 11:00 you could keep the lights to a minimum...that includes your Christmas lights and overhead lights. If you need the desk lamp, of course you could use that. I will also get an eye mask to help on my side. Thanks!
I’m a bit confused - are you in your first or second year of college? Did you live at home the first year? Will you be in a single next year or a different roommate.
Even though it is close to the end of the school year finals are coming up.
You can talk to the RA to help mediate for now through finals.
It is fine to turn off the lights in the room if your alone in the room.