<p>I am just not good friends with my roommate. It's generous to even call us acquantainces. I don't know why it is, because we aren't that different, aside from race, but we barely utter more than 10 sentences to eachother in a day. I wanted be have a roommate I could end up being good friends with, since my brother has been living with his original freshman roommate for the past 3 years. She has already discussed getting an apartment with a few girls down the hall, while I am just now making good friends.</p>
<p>Is anyone just an ok match with their roommates, and nothing else?</p>
<p>Sounds as if the relationship is a little chilly, which is disappointing. Otoh, I think the expectation of having a roommate be a best friend is also a bit misplaced and it's probably better if you and roomie aren't each other's chief social resource.</p>
<p>If the relationship is just uncomfortable, then maybe finding a different roommate is a solution. If otoh you want more of a social life, then it's up to you to go out and get it.</p>
<p>I really didn't desire being best friends with her, just that we would have a decent friendship. I really am not interested in just getting a new roommate when my freshman year is almost over with. The situation is uncomfortable but I'd rather not move out as it just complicates things.</p>
<p>It typically takes me awhile to get comfortable around other people, I'm rather a very serious introvert, but I do have a social life. I go to a college close to home, so I still see my old friends and have developed good relationships with a few people here. I'm also in a few leadership roles in organizations so I'm not trying to become any more social than I am confortable with.</p>
<p>I was just curious if anyone else in the same boat as I.</p>
<p>buhopeful, if you'll take a second hand account, my son tells me he is not particularly friends with either his roomate or his other two suitemates. He also says he prefers it that way, because some of those who became close friends with roomates when they first got there have had major falling outs and difficult living situations as the year rolled on. Also, he appreciates being able to go elsewhere when he socializes with people who are his friends, and come back to his room knowing he will be able to study or sleep there. He and his roomate get along well enough to share a space. </p>
<p>It strikes me that you and your roomate might have had different needs when you started. You still had high school friendships and obviously got involved in organizations since you're already moving into leadership roles. Your roomate might have been looking not just for a "good friend" to add to those she had, but for a whole new group, and might have found a ready-made one among others on the floor. It sounds as if you're going to stick the year out sharing a room with her. Maybe, before the year is out, you can find a way to let her know that you like her and wished you could have gotten somewhat closer this year and hope that, though you'll no longer be roomates, you'll find a way to be friends over the next few years.</p>
<p>Haha... I absolutely loathe my roommate... my other 2 suitemates are cool, but we aren't close friends... we do hang out from time to time though. My roommate OTOH, is very big on making the "right" friends and such... I'm not the type to try hard to fit in, so I find her friends extremely vapid and annoying. </p>
<p>As far as switching... I was considering moving out, but instead of all the hassle, I just try to stay in the room as little as possible. Granted, your room is your second home and you shouldn't HAVE to feel weird, but you gotta make a compromise.</p>
<p>I have a great roommate mainly because we are not friends. We respect each other's space and living habits. Our preferences verge on neat-freakish, which is why we can live so well together. But, we just didn't click as friends, which was fine with me. I have made friends through other places, and plan to live with this girl next year as well as things have gone very well. I think it would be more difficult to live with a friend as little disagreements could interfere with your relationship.</p>
<p>Afraid? Um, nope. I'm not afraid of her. She's a nice girl, and I can be very nice as well. I just don't think we're a good match for eachother which I understands happens. I'd rather have a roommate next year that I knew, maybe not friends, but at least not a stranger.</p>
<p>Buhopeful, that sounds like me, except I go to college 3 hours away from home. The funny thing is that my roomie and I hang out w/ the same people and they usually come to our room to hang out [though they talk more to her than me, and it's usually her they're looking for]. We kinda just stuck to each other during orientation since we didn't really know anyone else. We get along fine, but I've found that we're kind of opposites [she drinks, I don't, she got a tattoo and wanted a lip piercing, I would never consider getting those things, etc.] She's talked about wanting a single next year [I want a single too].
What does otoh mean, btw?</p>
<p>I'm a freshman, and I've had two roommates already. The first one, like you and your roomie, barely talked. I found that terrible, because I had always hoped that my roomie would be my best friend, and I made an effort in the beginning. Not only was the talking to a bare minimum, she wasn't respectful as a roommate either. I gradually started to resent her, and tried to stay out of my room as much as possible, which was terrible, because it's... well... my room! As someone before said, my 2nd home. And that sucked a lot. Also, I was upset that the one and only person I actually didn't get along with in my entire school was my roommate.</p>
<p>One weekend, I went home to escape from that for ONE weekend (which is SO unlike me, because I love being at my school). One night (here's where the story's cut down), she got drunk and "went through" my stuff (I don't think I'll ever know the whole story), and that was enough of a reason to get her to swap with one of my friends.</p>
<p>Now, it's totally opposite. The friend who became my roommate and I are best friends, and my room truly is like my 2nd home now. I think I also appreciate having a roommate I get along with so well now because I know what the... other side... is like. </p>
<p>If you're truly unhappy and it's taking away from your college experience, swap. The year is ONLY half over, you still have a whole semester to go. If you want to hear more details about what I cut out, IM me.</p>
<p>Just be glad you go to a school that allows you to swap. My first year, my roommates were anyone's worst nightmare. They were filthy, disgusting and noisy and very inconsiderate of my space and privacy. </p>
<p>I tried switching even though my arguments which would get very heated ended up getting my -entire- floor ****ed off at me because they were friends with these guys, but I had friends outside the dorm. When I tried to switch, I just go the runaround of "You have to make it work, and you have to respect their culture" b.s. you get sometimes. I endured it, but I almost didn't come back the next year because of it.</p>
<p>My roommate and I get along but I'm sure we get on each other's nerves once in a while. Other than being Asian, we both are conservative people as in we don't drink or smoke have sex but she's loosening up about that and now we're almost opposites. I always have to hear her guy problems and it annoys the hell out of me. We only get along because I'm not the type to complain or rage at someone, I just keep it inside which is a good or a bad thing? Anyways we do tell each other's secrets and she trusts me a whole lot, we're always there for each other. Yet I just know she's not going to know I exist by next year, it always happens.</p>
<p>actually what the OP has is not really a problem, so she might want to revisit her expectation that the random person matched by the housing office was going to turn into a friend. Sometimes it does work out that way, but a more usual scenario is that people make a group of friends frosh year and then pick roomates for future years from them.</p>
<p>All that matters from the frosh roomate is that you respect one another; don't borrow without asking, go thru their stuff, come to an agreement on having friends over, sexiling, etc. If you DO turn out to be good friends then you should count that as a lucky bonus, not the bare minimum.</p>
<p>I really don't think it was such a terrible expectation to have a roommate as a friend. I didn't expect to meet my future maid of honor. I just expected that her and I could at least have a decent friendship. I maintain that I don't think that that is unrealistic. Everyone's experience is different and the roommate matching can be a hit or miss. I understand that. I was just expressing a little frustration because I really don't see any reason why we shouldn't be decent friends.</p>
<p>This post was not to ask for advice, it was simply to find others who could possibly relate and understand where I was coming from. I hope I don't sound mean in saying that, but I don't really need advice and I understand my situation isn't life-threatening. Just wanted to see the consensus.</p>
<p>I think--and bolstered by anecdotal evidence, I think even moreso--that roommate as "friend" is sub-optimal. Too many cases where the friendship falls apart and then your living situtation becomes unpleasant. There's a difference between "friends" and "friendly".</p>
<p>my older brother is best friends with his roomate and he tells me most guys he knows become best friends with their roomate. i think males are just alittle different. i am a typical male, love sports and love to have fun. we usually think alike and we always have close bonds. we usually say stuff like "thats my boy", i" i got your back", we have in a way a gayish type relationship. we like forming grps and protecting each other and being there for each other. thats why we become best friends with our roomates. like my brother said first time he met his roomate they just shook hands and then started to yell and scream. stuff like this is going to be great, man we goign to have a blast, lets do this, stuff like that. he just attached to him the first day and made it seem their grp was the best grp and they were the "Sh#t."
i think males just have that in them. we are wolfs and lets stick together and we are the best. when we go out we are center of attention, and we goign to be close knit friends. we joke around alot and not shy to talk. we just tell each other the truth and accept it. we have that mind set that that is my boy and you mess with him you mess with me.
when i meet my roomate this is what will probally go through my mind this is my roomate and thats my "boy." we going to be cool, we goign to play football together, get chicks together, party together, and just be close friends.</p>