<p>CC provides a great service. Parents and students who find CC when the student is a freshman in high school will learn more valuable information about searching for coleges and having a productive and rewarding high school career than most HS guidance counselors can provide.</p>
<p>But the Parents forum is home to all the disappointments of the college search -- parents and students who learn, too late, lessons about expectations and safety schools and the fact that most aspiring college students are not from Lake Wobegone, i.e., not above average.</p>
<p>And this is where we come to trade stories about the harsh realities of paying for college -- especially if you have pleasant and hard-working and good-great-getting kids -- from solidly middle class homes. For us, the end of the college search is the beginning of a sort of heartache, as you realize that thr economics of paying for college is distorted by a system of loans and campus overbuilding that puts a traditional 4-year college experience out of reach of most middle-class families, without going into debt.</p>
<p>This is probably a good turning point for college financing -- if enough of us can toe the line, don't take on debt beyond what the feds will underwrite, and be franks with our kids -- you will take a gap year and wrk; you will work while you go to school; you will go to school part time; you will take 6 years or more to get your degree; you will not have the "traditional" college experience (however you define "traditional") because no number of football Saturdays, fraternity parties, late-night dorm room gabfests, etc., is worth $50,000 or more in debt for an undergrad degree.</p>
<p>I do understand your point. Probably a combination of CC and real life firmed up my opinion that the middle and upper middle class folks are screwed when it comes to expensive colleges…too wealthy for need based aid, but not nearly wealthy enough to pay $50,000 a year for multiple offspring.</p>
<p>I don’t know. Does “reality check” = “depressing”? The world (neighbors, relatives, teachers) tells so many 3.9 GPA middle class,class president kind of kids “You should go to Harvard.” CC is the reality check that such stats might not even buy the lottery ticket. Perhaps it’s better to learn from “strangers” on CC than to have your friends and relatives IRL dampen the Ivy dream.</p>
<p>A student can have a traditional live in the dorm college experience for under $23,000/year with no financial aid. If you live in a state with very low in state tuition or if your student gets merit aid (which can be available at surprisingly low ACT scores) or if your student gets need based aid (some fabulous schools are very generous), your student can do this for less. </p>
<p>I’d like to see high school guidance counselors know more about the realities of funding: which schools are generous with merit aid, which schools are generous with need based aid, what is the most a student can borrow on his own, and what will his monthly payments be. I think that these are the problem areas. There is just too much of a knowledge gap.</p>
<p>I think the CC parents are great. I find the kids a little depressing on the other boards because they measure their self worth so narrowly. But the parents are great!</p>
<p>Actually - I find some of the CC student forums depressing. On the whole I have found the parents to be earnest, moderate in their views, involved without being crazy and really just trying to figure out the system. Some of the students, on the other hand, with their chance threads and seeming sense of entitlement make my wonder. I get the sense that many of the parents who exchange ideas here have students who are not over the top and many of the over the top students have parents who are not linked in with reality.</p>
<p>This is perhaps one of the most depressing weeks on CC in general, with the Ivy results recently released, and inevitably many students were disappointed.</p>
<p>But overall I don’t find it to be depressing, but helpful. I’ve learned about lots of great schools that are a bit less selective, which is quite encouraging.</p>
<p>CC has been one of the most helpful places on the web for us. I would’ve never understood the “love thy safety” mantra nor would I have been as proactive as a parent. It helped me to understand that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if my child chose to attend a lower tiered school…and we’re better off financially because she has a full merit scholarship! I would have never known that much about merit $ if it weren’t for CC.</p>
<p>The only ones depressed are my friends who didn’t know about this site until after the college search!</p>
<p>I think it might be more depressing for people who came here “after the fact” rather than those who were here before they applied to schools ;-)</p>
<p>I send every high school parent who will listen here. You can’t get this kind of information, especially for free, just anywhere. I think the experienced parents here know so much about so many schools that I would never know about. We tend to know the big national names, and some local schools. But having local people all over the country really adds to the list of schools to choose from for so many people.</p>
<p>This was a key reason we started CC more than 10 years ago! Too many people start the college process with no clue, and end up with nasty surprises. While we still find people arriving at CC too late in the process to fix problems like not applying to a safety or having acceptances only from unaffordable schools, every year we reach more families earlier in their process.</p>
<p>If you’ve been a member as long as your profile indicates, and you have just learned this:</p>
<p>“And this is where we come to trade stories about the harsh realities of paying for college – especially if you have pleasant and hard-working and good-great-getting kids – from solidly middle class homes. For us, the end of the college search is the beginning of a sort of heartache, as you realize that thr economics of paying for college is distorted by a system of loans and campus overbuilding that puts a traditional 4-year college experience out of reach of most middle-class families, without going into debt.”</p>
<p>then I’ve got to ask why weren’t you paying attention to the Parents Forum a lot sooner?</p>
<p>The people who do check in here regularly (and in Financial Aid of course) really should not be caught off guard by the news that the cost of college is what it is, and the state of financial aid is what it is.</p>
<p>Maybe one of the problem with debt and affordability is that most of us go through the process only once or twice and then it becomes other set of kids and parents problem. If we have to endure this for perpetuity then I think there would be a lot more push back. The administrators and the institutions see it from an entirely different perspective and they have a different set of problems they are trying to solve or promote. The government also comes at a different angle and trying to get the up and coming set of kids through. I think the colleges have the biggest lever but I don’t see things changing in a drastic way any time soon.</p>
<p>In my community, there is way more, “you MAY not be able to afford it, but check it out anyway” than “apply and don’t worry about the money”. If you come from the former, and it works, what can be better than that?</p>
<p>You’ve never been on a pro-ana board. Or /r9k/. Or 4chan for that matter. lol</p>
<p>I think most people here should be glad that they can go to some college, if not the one of their dreams. So many people drop out because of financial reasons.</p>
<p>I don’t find the parents forum depressing and it’s quite fun - especially after you have crossed to the other side. </p>
<p>I came late to the party, after my son’s apps were all in. But I am one of the lucky ones as my son’s GC office was great (private school) and we knew a lot about college admission before hand from good friends and relatives. I can only imagine how difficult it is if one doesn’t understand the process and the things you need to be looking for.</p>
<p>I do think CC over-represents the “above average” among us, with far fewer typical parents and kids chiming in. I think they lurk, instead, so benefit from the info without exposing themselves to questions or criticism.</p>
<p>As to whether it’s depressing or not, reality isn’t always fun, but that’s life. Not everyone is Ivy bound, and that’s OK and how it should be. Everyone on CC is COLLEGE BOUND, however, and that’s something to celebrate. The perceived quality of the school you attend has next to no impact on your future happiness. You decide whether you’re happy or not in the end. Yeah, the finances can be grim in this day and age, but it seems that parents here are largely helping their kids make smart decisions in that department, which I actually believe is positive trend.</p>
<p>So chin up everyone! While the college decision is undeniably important and worth a lot of time and effort, a student’s future is influenced much more by his/her personal characteristics, work ethic, etc. in the long run. Most of them will turn out just fine :)</p>