Hello all (though in this case older out of college people would be the most helpful). College is hard and I get that (there are ups and downs I have highlights and low moments) but I often hear that college is supposed to be the “best four years of your life”. While it has been good sometimes, I can’t help but hope that there will be better things after because I am not sure that this feels like the best four years… Would anyone mind sharing how their life changed for the better after college or explaining that college isn’t actually the peak of people’s lives (assuming and hoping that it is true)?
Perhaps not the peak, but college was definitely magical for me and DH. We’d both do it again in a heartbeat. It certainly was the best time of our young lives.
Everyone’s experience is different. If your college years don’t feel like the best, then your best is yet to come. Look at it that way.
I attended an admissions panel discussion this weekend and received a good piece of advice - don’t tell your child that college is the best four years of their life because in The moment it does not feel that way - it’s only when you look back and hopefully see it in perspective you realize it how special of a time those 4 years were -before you had to go out in the “real world” and deal with adult responsibilities. Doesn’t mean the rest of your life is not great - but hopefully you will look back at college with fond memories.
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Nope. Not the best four years of my life. There were certainly things I like about it and I had fun and learned a few things but definitely not the best four years of my life.
People say that about high school too and that was not true either.
People just like to say stuff like that. Don’t believe it.
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After working six years, I went back to get my MBA. My first class was org behavior and I remember reading the text book while lounging in the pool.
School was tough but it was also a safe haven where I was responsible to study and participate but not support myself (I was lucky in that sense).
I plan to go back to school when I retire - law school perhaps.
So yes, school is awesome and maybe be a great part of your life but not necessarily the best. I mean having kids is pretty awesome.
But not everyone feels the same. It’s ok if you don’t but then try and change things. Join a new club. Take a fencing class or something that’s different. Get involved with research.
Whatever your interest - you can certainly improve upon your experience if you want to do so.
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Absolutely not! To think that life is all down hill after you’re 22???
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This is 25 years old (it was one of the first pieces of viral content on the internet!) but still good advice for college graduates:
“Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked…
Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.“
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I loved college, everything about it. Made great friends, learned a ton and really became myself. For me it was way better than high school. BUT it was not the best time of my life at all- definitely my life since has only gotten better- having kids, worrying less about the trajectory of my life and how I am perceived by others -and I am looking forward to the next phase just as much. Being a young adult can be so tough- worrying about relationships, all the emotions and stress- wouldn’t want to be there again.
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My life since college has been the best forty years of my life.
But I loved college. Hated HS.
Yes, it gets better… hang in there.
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I loved my time in college, but even the president of Wesleyan says, “If this is the best four years of your life - then we’ve failed you.”
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For many kids, especially kids for whom middle and high school were bad, college is the first time that they can find “their tribe”. This was even more pronounced in the past, when elementary, middle, and high schools were not friendly places for kids who were too geeky or nerdy. So for these kids, college would be the best four years of their lives until that point.
Many kids can reinvent themselves for the first time, find new interests and hobbies, etc.
So between this new and better life, and the fact that they do not yet need to worry about making a living, and are still young, colleges can be a great period of life, especially in retrospect.
However, I would guess that many of the people who talk about college as being “the best four years of their lives” are seeing everything through the soft pink haze of selective memory.
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My four years of undergraduate university education were definitely NOT the best years of my life.
The best 33 years of my life were the 33 years (and still counting) after I met my wife. My time in graduate school (for a master’s) might come next. My undergraduate years pale in comparison. One thing that I liked about graduate school is that I knew what I wanted to study, I knew why, and all of my classes were either in that field or something relatively close. I was also mature enough to always stay ahead in every class, which reduces the stress quite a bit.
There are perhaps three big advantages after you graduate from university and start working for a living. One is that you suddenly have an income and can afford things that you could not afford in the past. Another thing is that work ends at some point (perhaps 5pm or 6pm) and you have the evening free. You also have the weekends free. A third issue is that as a person gets older sometimes they learn their way around life a bit better.
And of course everyone’s experience is different.
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A lot of times look better in retrospect- partly b/c of selective memory and partly b/c you know how everything turns out! When your house is overrun with babies and toddlers and people tell you ‘you’re going to miss this’ it is very hard to believe! but get far enough away from it and you miss the good bits. Because there are good bits in most stages of life.
I am 100% on team ‘why would you want these to be the best for years of your life, knowing that means that it’s all downhill from here?!’ Tbh, I don’t think any set of years, or seasons should be the ‘best’. Like a lot of people I liked college much more than HS, I liked working more than college, I liked grad school as a nice break from working, I liked the work I dd after grad school better again. I loved being a newlywed, a mother of kids at various stages. I loved moving to new countries and moving back to my hometown - and then moving again.
Iow, it’s all to play for. It’s the ultimate choose-your-adventure story!
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I would say that I liked HS better than college, if I’m honest. College was very important for personal growth and development, but other than studying abroad (which was fantastic), most of college was…okay-ish. Hopefully you’ll find a better fit than I did and have a wonderful college experience, but I wouldn’t worry about the whole “best four years of your life” thing. I think that just puts a bunch of pressure on you from the outset and sets you up for disappointment if you aren’t immediately having the greatest fun that anyone’s ever had on Day One.
It’s tough to look beyond the years of raising my kids.
But it sure was fun, yes.
You will only know that years from now. You (probably) have the time and opportunity to learn so much, and that might become more difficult as you have additional responsibilities.
Enjoy the here and now. Life is what you make it.
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It probably is not for most people, but you can choose to make the most of that time in your life.
Enjoy the small moments. Carve out time to do things with others. Show up to help with a volunteer project. Get campus jobs in areas that have nothing to do with your major, but are just interesting or fun. Laugh.
It will not look like what you see in movies or on Instagram.
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For me personally, college was not the best time of my life. Essentially, I tried college twice. I tried community college at 17 when I was rescinded from a state school and I hated it so much I wound up dropping out with a 1.1GPA. Then, I went into the workforce for a few years and got my life together and came back, transferred into a good school with a 3.8. But as a transfer I didn’t really make that many friends, most people already had their social groups all worked out. I didn’t hate it, but most of my best memories from my college years have almost nothing to do with the actual college I went to.
Personally, I actually have the fondest memories from high school where I had a really tight group of friends that all did a lot of stuff together. It’s ok if college isn’t the best time of your life. Some people have really tough majors, other people are dealing with family issues. But a lot of it is what you make of it.
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I would say having college be the best 4 years of your life was more of a luxury from my perspective/experience. Mine definitely was not; I had to work 3 jobs and got out of there with a degree, BUT I graduated with no debt, 4 years of great work experience and a small savings. There were a few fun memories, but honestly that’s about it. My 20s were fun, as I was working my way up the ladder, getting advanced degrees, getting married, buying my first house; these had more of an impact on my memories. I’d say the time since my DD was born has definitely been the best time of my life, but I have the luxury of time and perspective. Everyone is different and comparison only brings misery. Live your life to the fullest; enjoy what you can, endure what you must and make the most of each stage of life.
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If it was, life would be pretty depressing. The work/study grind got old, and I got burned out more times than I could count. By the time it was over, I had clinical depression. Good thing I was young. If I did it now, I might die an early death.