Same thing happened to my D22, although she did applied to UCs as her safety.
She didn’t even give any consideration to UCB after an acceptance and didn’t even bother to take the waitlist offer from UCLA.
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We are the exact opposite. D23 applied ONLY to CA schools - in fact, only schools within about 2 hours of home. She has been fortunate to travel quite a bit, both domestically and internationally, and she loves seeing new places, but this is where she wants to live. At least for now. As happy as I am to have her nearby for the next four years, I do feel some regret about this decision: there are some great schools in other states which would have been wonderful matches for her and which I think she would have had a great experience at. She really limited herself by her geographical preference. But that is her choice based on what is currently of high importance to her - living here.
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Though I have to wonder about students in CA who complain about these things but then apply to out of state schools with similar issues (e.g. Washington or UIUC for the overloaded majors issue, or most public flagships for the large classes).
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My kids chose not to apply to UWA for exactly that reason. Of the 25 applications my three completed only 4 are OOS public flagships-- and they offer honors colleges (and OOS merit) which help to alleviate some of those issues.
As a 25 year CA resident, a former employee of the UC system, a UC alumna (plus 5 more UC alums in my family), I just think the UC system is really letting down CA’s top students these days. We likely disagree on this point. That’s ok.
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I don’t think you should have any regret at all and she will be fine with her decision to stay in CA.
There are many, many great schools everywhere and I don’t think she will be missing any college experince just because she’s staying in CA.
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My son was worried about these issues too. He attended a couple of classes at Cal last semester to get a sense of what it might feel like to be a student at this type of school, and also get to know some students. He was surprised at how much he liked it! He is now feeling more confident about attending a large public flagship type of school, either in CA, OOS, or in Canada.
Edited to add: He also attends a big public HS with an overcrowded feeling and minimal handholding, and has learned how to work with this sort of system. Big impersonal schools don’t work for all kids, but for my kid I have seen how this environment has helped him to grow in maturity and confidence.
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Oglebee, Yes, schools turn away students that they believe are only using them as a safety, and some schools are famous (or infamous) for it. (Is it the “Tulane effect” or "Tuft effect? I’ve heard both on CC.) Case Western last year was a good case study. Many parents on CC were flabbergasted that their extremely high stat student (1570+ SAT/4.0 UW GPA/amazing ECs/double digit APs, etc.) were deferred by Case, while lower stat students were accepted. Case AOs probably assumed - rightly - that these students would rather go to CMU, GA Tech, Purdue, etc. if accepted. Case, of course, would love to have these amazing students so they invited them to apply ED2 in their deferment notices.
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this bothers me a lot. I get how ED would be the ultimate way to show interest, and visits, but the other ways to show interest (through essays and even worse by clicking on emails and stuff like that) is just playing the game and easily manipulated and can just be a way for savvy kids to fake interest and get a leg up. And kids who don’t play this phony game lose.
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And that is key for most kids-can they “afford” it. Are their parents willing to foot the bill for more expensive colleges, are they eligible for need based aid, do they want to pursue merit aid to bring the cost down , etc. Many kids still attend community college, their instate publics because of finances.
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So far we have found OOS publics are offering enough merit to bring the cost lower than our in-state options. This is not all OOS publics, but there are plenty.
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ED is guaranteed revenue - assuming you hold your end of the bargain.
Showing up for a visit or webinar or writing that you’d love to work with Dr. Smith’s research project doesn’t guarantee anything.
These are businesses. Just like restaurants sell you a gift card with a $10 bonus “to guarantee” revenue…these businesses are doing the same…selling their souls to ensure their longevity.
Neither of my kids used ED (parent decision). They do fine. Yes, your ultimate destination may change - but then I’d argue - if that’s how they are, would you really want to give them your money? Show love to those who love you - if they declined you (and you’ll never know why or if not applying ED played a part) - but if they don’t show love for whatever reason, then it’s their loss.
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Certainly - but then again, if some “A” type kids can’t be bothered to “play the game”, it does tell you something about the intensity of the interest?
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But how many “A” type kids necessarily even know the game? We certainly didn’t - I went to college in the stone ages and so much has changed. I feel like we went into all of this quite naively. Including “the game” of engagement, and just generally how competitive things are (and how savvy some kids are at essentially marketing themselves to make their achievements and activities stand out).
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I don’t think so. I know plenty of kids who aren’t truly interested but act like they are. it’s a game and some kids play it harder than others.
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I’ve only done the college app thing twice but my advice to total newbies is to “play the game”. My 1st was a high stats kid who filled out applications, did ECs and interviews, etc and had mixed results on a carefully curated list of target schools. But there are a million other similar kids-- fate was in the AOs’ hands. My 2nd, a lower stats kid, played the game to perfection and got in early to the dream school that I’m reading higher stats kids are being deferred from. Nothing really remarkable on the application but a carefully chosen major, direct phone calls, emails, knocking on doors worked better than the tutored SAT scores. Ultimately, schools want at least some kids who will be enthusiastic, productive members of the community. That’s exactly what they’ll get with my 2nd.
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This is very interesting. And I wonder why high school guidance counselors aren’t explaining this to high school juniors and seniors? Or maybe some are? Ours are definitely not.
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Ours GC definitely did not advise this. My kid made sure the AO knew who they were so when it came time to read the app, they were practically friends. Not sure if it would work every time but seems like a long shot acceptance otherwise.
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Because many, maybe most, high schoolers don’t have a dedicated college counselor who knows anything about college admissions.
Average counselor:student ratio across the country is around 450:1, and most of those counselors are trained as psychologists/social-emotional counselors who must prioritize the mental health of the students (and with that C:S ratio, probably aren’t doing that piece all that well).
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I get that but, for example, our HS counseling team sends out a monthly newsletter. It covers course selection info, college application deadlines, and a variety of other information related to college planning. Could they not at least add a blub saying, hey, some colleges really care about these things, so here are tips on how to show your engagement. I don’t know how common these counseling newsletters are and whether many other schools have them, though.
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I don’t disagree, maybe they don’t know about demonstrated interest and which schools practice this?
ETA: I have thought about this a lot as an independent college counselor. I spend my days engaged with AOs who do programming for counselors and I don’t often see HS GCs on these sessions (although we don’t always know someone’s role). But, HS GCs must spend their days with students, so I’m not sure how they stay current in all things college admissions…because it’s a lot.
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