I think there are certain fit factors that are overrated (weather being one for me personally- I used to think I wanted to go to college where it was always warm). That said, schools that are very similar on paper can have a very different fit. I did a summer job at a school that is ranked virtually the same as the one I went to, which similar faculty-student ratios and which gets a lot of cross-applications. I thought the people there was just much less nice, the dorms and food weren’t as good, and the campus just didn’t feel right to me. There are very similarly ranked schools that really do have big cultural differences (people dressing up in pearls vs. sweatpants to class) and I noticed some student bodies just felt quirkier, which I liked but some students might hate.
Ironically, my D was accepted with a full tuition scholarship to the school that @miamidap ‘s kid attended and HATED it. It’ was a classic “bad fit” for her and the very first school she turned down officially once all her results were in.
But when we get past that “one school you made me apply to as a financial safety”, there are several good options and I believe once she chooses one she will find reasons to decide it is the perfect fit. Kids are adaptable, in many ways, and I agree with @mom2collegekids on that. I think the main thing is that within the parameters set by us (financial, mainly), it has to be a choice the kid owns.
I think the beauty of the campus can also be overrated. Personally, that’s what I always focus on - and I prefer the red brick and ivy of my alma mater. Any campus with red brick and ivy will seem beautiful to me. But once you actually start school, the beautiful (or not so beautiful) campus is less important than the people, the professors, your roommate, etc. My kids’ campus is the most friendly campus I’ve ever been to. I don’t find it very attractive (no red brick or ivy, just saying’), but it is a fit for them. We visited Harvard and MIT with my youngest son (football recruit) and he loved both, but I could just feel that MIT would not be a fit for him while Harvard would. Was I correct or was my red brick and ivy fetish clouding my judgment? It’s just so difficult to really get a feel for a place on a short visit.
Ha! D hated red brick and was pretty open about it. She is now happily attending a school that is predominantly limestone.
I agree @OHMomof2 about having to be a choice the kid owns. Great way of stating it.
It’s a school that the kid must be excited about and have things they look forward to enjoying, since it is their motivation that will see them through.
Doesn’t have to be a “dream” school but it can’t be an “ugh, this is a prison sentence” school. If there is no school they like enough to be motivated ( that they can afford ) it’s better to take a gap year and gain some perspective, maturity, and maybe earn money.
Ha! I also thought I wanted the classic red brick architecture. I got a place that loves pink granite, which somehow grew on me.
“I think fit can be exaggerated. Some of these parents (and students) who go on and on about fit didn’t do much to find “fit” for K-12 education…the kid just went to the assigned public”
- That is actually where we spent most effort, much more than choosing college. It took me couple of years to convince my D. to go to a certain HS, she wanted to attend somewhere else. I knew very well that she did not fit where she wanted to attend. Eventually, she attended HS of my choice and thanked me many times over (still thanking me). I also believe that HS choice may be more crucial than college choice. But this depends on many variables like specifics of different schools of choice and the kid specific situation. HS was also a perfeect FIT for my D. (according to her)
…“pretty campus” and “great food cervice” were heavy factors in D’s decision making. Why not? Whatever is making them happy. And, yes, half of our hometown absolutely hate Miami of OH, while another half feel the same about OSU. My D. was in a second group. With few exceptions, pretty clear cut.
When I was shopping for a car, I wanted one that had the little jack where you can plug in your iPod. I rejected cars that didn’t have this. I also wanted a nice cupholder.
That’s fit. There’s nothing wrong with it, as long as you can afford to be so discriminating.
“Things that affect your happiness in a major way at a school, are: professor/student interaction, roommate compatibility, course availability, difficulty of the grading curves, research/internship opportunities, types of clubs, and many others. Very few kids are talking about these factors when they say a school will (or won’t) be a good “fit”.”
I don’t know…seems like all these factors are talked about a lot…right here on this board!
I agree figuring out this stuff in one visit is hard…that’s why you visit more than once (if possible), go the web site, talk to people ask questions and learn as much as you can. In the end, you can’t know for sure until you live it. Just like any other decision…you do your best to get all the information you can but you’ll never know until after you’ve made the decision. And would another decision be just as good? Probably. Would it have been better? Maybe. Will you ever know? Nope.
My daughter is very happy with her choice, and time will tell if my son will be (he starts in the fall). But I truly believe both schools “fit”.
@Hunt - well said. So true!
There are some things you don’t find out until you visit.
One college looked good on paper but when we visited my D said she would die if she had to walk up and down those hills all the time. Thank goodness we visited before application time.
Another one had a great offer but when we attended, I, as parent, did not like any of the speakers - I guess I was being judgemental but they made me want to roll my eyes all the time. Hubby likes the school. I’m so relieved D doesn’t like it because I’d be worried about her fit there.
Another school had a fantastic offer and I loved the place but D just couldn’t see herself as a student there when we visited.
So my lesson learned is that younger kid had better get all her visiting done before she submits any apps.
My kid hated red brick buildings as well…and didn’t apply to colleges that had them.
What “fits” today might not fit tomorrow. The college choice is based on your best guess which one will be your best fit all around. But if it doesn’t work out…you can always transfer.
'…visiting done before she submits any apps. " - and, she may continue after…mine did a lot and not only at the one that she ended up attending, actully it was her second choice
It’s a “bunch of baloney” if you have an easygoing kid who can do good work in any setting. Otherwise, not.
D rejected a college last year when we visited because, she said, the architecture varied too much from building to building. That’s what she TOLD me, but what was really going on was she didn’t see any kids who looked like kids she could relate to, everyone seemed too serious, she got a bad vibe. She just used architecture to express that.
I visited a very hilly college back in my day and rejected it, I said, for that reason. But in fact I found the campus dreary and depressing and the few kids we saw not at all engaged.
Sometimes what we say we mean isn’t what we really mean.
That’s rather harsh. What did the Florida Institute of Technology ever do to you?
For older son number one issue was academics and particularly in his major, but the social fit was important too. In fact the fit as CMU was far better than any of us realized when he decided to go there. His social life consisted of hanging out with other like-minded kids in the Linux cluster. (A room with computers running Linux.) There was a handy campus cafe nearby, board and group computer games, white boards the kids drew on. The room had a very friendly atmosphere - it was the last place on campus he went to in order to say his good-byes when he graduated. There are geeky game-playing kids on every campus, but they were easy to locate at CMU. For my normally rather anti-social kid having a comfortable place to be social was a real plus.
Younger son is more of a bloom where planted kid, but he didn’t actually meshi that well with the dominant Tufts culture. The problem with him is that his favorite social activities tend to be found in the STEM crowd and he is so not a STEM kid. The course load he took as a freshman meant he socialized less with the kids in his dorm than he might have. It’s pretty hard to predict how things will work out.
So funny about the cupholders, I remember when they weren’t in all cars, and it was a big factor in which car we ended up picking.
Older son didn’t care at all about the looks of the campus, but younger son really wanted a quad. He had visions of sitting out there with his laptop doing homework - forgetting how much of the school year is winter.
It’s not baloney but it’s not absolute either. Both of my kids have with college choices and major.
Almost responded with “what do you have against Fashion Institute of Technology?”. I mean, they managed to teach Calvin Klein and Norma Kamali a thing or two.