Is it me? or the college?

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>I am not sure if it's me... or the situation I am in.</p>

<p>I hate the college I am at. Hate it. The first day we had to do community service because the community looks upon my school as being a bunch of stuck up rich kids. That is what they told us. Stuck up rich kids is the reputation.</p>

<p>My roommate and I don't not get along or get along. we just coexist. When we talk it's always about her private high school and how she admits she is really shallow. She wouldn't do cross country because the girls were too ugly. My school won't let me change roommates because we don't have big enough issues. She constantly just glares and me and I feel like she is always judging me.</p>

<p>I am in a learning community. All the people who live on my floor are in 2 out of my 5 classes (just the 20 of us in the class). My other 3 classes have at least 5 people from my floor in it. I constantly see this people and I hate it. I know I need to make new friends but it's hard because of the work load and always being with the same people.</p>

<p>All the people here are too stuck up. It's a private college and basically everyone I met doesn't have to pay for school themselves. Meanwhile I have to pay a portion but I am going to struggle to do so.</p>

<p>So truthfully... is it me or is it the college? I just don't know what to do. Thanks for reading my rant.</p>

2

<p>You chose this particular college for a reason, did you not? It's at least partially your fault if you didn't research enough about the social life and population of the school before you decided to attend. However, it's not just you in that these people are probably being stuck up jerks alot of the time. Why don't you research other schools and think about transferring somewhere for next year? That may be the best option for you. </p>

<p>As for the roommate situation, just avoid her the best you can. I hated my roommate freshman year too, because she was similar to your roommate and I just stayed away from her as much as I could (even when we had to be in the room together, I would watch a movie or listen to music on my computer with headphones and ignore her).</p>

3

<p>I don't think any of us can really answer whether it's you or the college. But the learning community thing sounds absolutely suffocating to me. I'm glad I never did anything like that!</p>

<p>Why did you want to go to this school in the first place? If it's academics, can you pick one or two classes that really interest you and try to not only master what's assigned but also learn more and develop your own interests? That might give you the chance to get to know the faculty a bit better, and they will at least be different than the 19 freshmen you live with.</p>

<p>I'm assuming you have a job besides school. Are you making the best use possible of the time right before and after classes, and blocks in between classes? You should probably not be doing more than 40 hours of focused effort a week on schoolwork in general -- obviously it waxes and wanes, but if you need a lot more than that you may want to look into tutoring -- and you should be able to find time to go do something, whether it's academic clubs or lectures open to the public or parties or anything you like, where there will be other people. Even if you're holding down a full-time job or more (I've done that, and it's hard but it's doable). If you try to be more disciplined about studying (recognizing, of course, that sometimes you need downtime) in those moments when you can, you may be able to free up some time in the evenings and on weekends when you can go do something that's better than hanging out with the other 19.</p>

<p>There's nothing wrong with just coexisting with a roommate. That's how it was with each of my roommates. It's less tiring, for one thing. But it does sound as if you're a lot more social than I was before I got online, and I think if I were you I would make getting to know someone else that was more compatible a priority, right along with the school work. If you are holding a job <em>now</em>, there may be people you like at work; if you want to look into community service, you may find people there; or maybe clubs or sports or something would interest you.</p>

<p>And if you really can't find a way to enjoy this and to get the benefits you hoped you'd get when you chose this place, then definitely consider transferring. There are colleges that probably cost less than yours that can give you an excellent education.</p>

<p>I don't know whether your sense of humor lines up with mine, but I also read Rate Your Students every day, and a couple of other blogs by academics who see the same things I see and who comment on them in ways I enjoy. I feel less lonely reading those things.</p>

<p>Good luck. It's a tough position to be in, and I hope you figure out a way to make it better soon.</p>

4

<p>It's the combination of you and the college. Something that better suited your tastes might not be "better" just more of a match for you.</p>

5

<p>I feel like I know what school you go to. Maybe I am off but I think I know. I won't say since you didn't say. But hey its giving you a taste of the real world. Half the people in this world are ok to be around and the other half its best not to waste your energy on. Choose wisely and surround yourself around good people. Find like minded individuals it will take work but do that and you will be able to enjoy your experience. Its not the school its just some of the people there remember the 50 just go find the good 50. Hope that helps.</p>

6

<p>Many private schools can be as you described. I know from my own experience and my son's experience as well. I transferred out and so is my son. However, even in the situation in which you describe, there are others like you that ended up at this school for one reason or another, you just have to look harder to find them. Even though my son is transferring, he did manage to find a really nice group of friends more like himself at private school. It can be done. Try and get out of the rut of your little group in the dorm and join in more college wide activities that interest you. Whether it be an environmental group, the radio station or the college newspaper, it will give you a chance to expqand your social horizons.
Good luck!</p>

7

<p>From how you describe things, the college sounds like Rollins.</p>

<p>My S is a soph there and LOVES it. He also had freshmen year roommate problems (among other things, the guy would have sex while my S was trying to sleep. The guy also lost his room key, and instead of getting another just left the door unlocked most of the year), but basically coexisted with his roommate while making plenty of other friends. </p>

<p>S didn't bother trying to study in his room (which also stunk because roomie kept his sweaty laundry in a heap in the middle of the room), but studied in the library, which worked out fine. </p>

<p>Community service was one place where S made lots of friends as many of the nicest students are those who voluntarily are involved in CS. This includes some very nice kids who happen to be very rich (S is not rich).</p>

<p>S also has been active in several different clubs, and has made friends through those. These included clubs in activities S never did before. He now is an officer in one such club. The clubs have been very welcoming to newcomers. </p>

<p>Among things S has enjoyed is how supportive the professors and advisors are. S even got to go to a national conference at Rollins' expense.</p>

<p>S wasn't particularly fond of his RCC because while the subject should have been fascinating, the prof didn't present info in an interesting way (I can confirm that as I attended a lecture during Parents' Weekend) and many of the students didn't care about the subject. However, virtually all of the other courses that S took were enjoyable and informative. </p>

<p>Wherever you are, you've only been there a few weeks, so don't yet have a good overview of what the situation is like. Check out some more activities so as to broaden your contacts with other students. Give yourself until at least Dec. to make up your mind about whether the college is right for you.</p>

8

<p>Sounds like a large university would be a better fit for you. More diversity and anonymity.</p>

9

<p>ok thanks everyone.. I am going to give it more time and try and find others like me.</p>

10

<p>
[quote]
It's a private college and basically everyone I met doesn't have to pay for school themselves. Meanwhile I have to pay a portion but I am going to struggle to do so.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>That sounds like you.</p>

11

<p>
[quote]
My roommate and I don't not get along or get along. we just coexist. When we talk it's always about her private high school and how she admits she is really shallow. She wouldn't do cross country because the girls were too ugly. My school won't let me change roommates because we don't have big enough issues. She constantly just glares and me and I feel like she is always judging me.

[/quote]
Who cares? The housing office isn't in the business of assigning friends, they're assigning people to share rooms. As long as she's respectful of your belongings and you can come to an understanding on how to share the room in peace, you're fine. Make your friends elsewhere. Come next year, you can request to live with them.</p>