OP has 3 college offer options with football (Albright, McDaniel or Susquehanna). OP will “get what he gets” in regards to financial aid. OP will then need to decide if any of those work for him or not.
OP states community college in New Jersey costs 72K? Seems most of the CC I saw were $150-250 a credit. It isnt required to go to college full time if you arent living in the dorm.
OP can be angry about that but perhaps this isnt the page to just vent as it seems most people here try to offer recommendations on vent posts and it seems OP just wants to let everyone know how expensive college is and how unfair it is as if this is news to everyone. People keep offering suggestions and he keeps getting more annoyed to be honest.
I am, however, among the several “Some flexibility will be required” posters.
And some of the flexibility that will be required may be unpleasant, whether that’s foregoing private ownership of a car (and so taking mass transit for some hours, or carpooling and chipping in for gas, or heck, maybe even jogging when the weather’s good), or going to a community college, or not playing football, or attending part-time, or whatever else.
That is life, after all—deciding what is more or less important and acting accordingly. So it might well be worth you and your son (I really do wonder what his thoughts on all this are) sitting down with each other to figure out where everything really falls along the importance scale.
(BTW, I took mass transit for a good chunk of my college career, and got a lot of studying done on the bus. So it wasn’t even all lost time.)
So 13k for 2 yrs of tuition and another 59k for 2 years of “transportation” to community college. Now I “understand” your “math” of how community College isn’t cheaper than a 4 year school living in a dorm.
Your son will have 3 offers to play d3 football. I understand the embarrassment you may feel if you have to tell him no you can’t afford it. But nobody else is judging you for that, only you.
I would step back, take a breath and take it one year at a time. Injuries happen. Scholarships pop up. Kids work and save money.
Instead of looking at this choice as 80k you don’t have right now, think of how can I help him get the tuition costs for next year. I’m not saying to act like the other years don’t exist but perhaps things will figure themselves out.
You want your kid to go to college. They aren’t getting huge merit money and didn’t get any d1 offers. Doesn’t mean he isn’t a good kid or that you’re a bad dad.
You know the cost for your son to go to college. Your misplaced anger doesnt help him.
Im a mom of 3 teens, one in college already. I work at a college. Yes college is crazy expensive but yelling at random strangers on the internet trying to help you doesnt change that.
I didn’t own a car until I was 25. I did pay a lot of friends $5 for a ride, which I paid with an hour of work at the library. It can be done for those motivated.
Usually, CC just throws out college names. Here, you’ve got savvy folks actually doing research with you. I’d just gently suggest you not ‘bite the hand that feeds you.’
You’ve got a problem with $. Yup. But you’ve acknowledged higher stats would have helped. That dye is cast. Some more flexible thinking could help.
I’m wondering if he’ll even stick with this history/football/certification/teaching and coaching plan. A couple of friends headed in more lucrative directions could change his mind fast. Some kids know early…many don’t truly even begin to understand the range of career options, at 17.
Many of us hadn’t even heard of the paths we eventually took.
OP seems to want to help his kid play football in college. I get that as I have a kid with football dreams as well. End of the day, the kids grades are what they are and his abilities are what they are and hes only been recruited at colleges where the cost to the family is higher than dad wants to pay.
I get that it sucks as a parent to feel like you are ruining your kids dream but the reality is that the kid straight up didnt get the grades and doesnt have the ability to get to d1 with more scholarships and that is NOT dads fault. So dad feels pressured to come up with the money and nobody would fault him for saying no but his kid.
We all want our kids to follow their dreams but its hard when money talks as it only goes so far.
We get the colleges in NJ are expensive. Thus the suggestions to go to community college first.
CC would be about $3500 a semester. Thats 7k for 2 years. The “child” would then be 20 and could work part time and go to a 4 year school part time while living off campus to finish their bachelors degree. Many of us took more than 4 years to complete our degree and there is no shame in that.
OP continues to say that going to CC would not save any money at all so its a waste to even think about. But what I think what OP is trying to do is to rationalize him spending the extra 20-30k a year so that his kid can play d3 football.
Only OP knows the right answer for his kid and his own wallet.
You want your son to play football, live in a dorm, not commute by the car he doesn’t have or take the public transportation which doesn’t exist, not have loans, and major in education to become a history teacher/football coach in a public school in 4 years in New Jersey, and then go to grad school for a Master’s in educational leadership and/or become a college football coach. He’s an industrious kid who fixes stuff he picks up on the street and sells it for profit, but that’s not likely a source of revenue once he gets to college.
What did I miss?
Here’s what YOU are missing. All of us- every single one of the posters who have tried to help you, have had to work with their kids to accept a trade-off. Some of us had to have the tough conversation that even though the kid is a top stats, top grades kids (which you admit yours is not), the “dream college” which has come through with a nice aid package is still not affordable. Some of us have had the tough conversation that it’s either Marine Biology far from home, in a state/city where the kid doesn’t want to live, or Plain Vanilla bio in the more desired college. Some of us have had the awful conversation of “we know your heart is set on XYZ college 12 hours from home- but dad is starting chemo in two weeks and we need you closer to home to help make dinner for your younger siblings- so would you consider living at home and commuting to your least favorite college at least for a year to get the family through this miserable (but we pray) temporary crisis?” And some of us- believe it or not- had the kid accept the top choice college-- and then a job loss (or two) meant the kid had to leave partway through and transfer to a cheaper option.
Your posts suggest that none of us know any public school teachers which is not true. And we have suggested that identifying a couple (or many) vehicles for loan forgiveness, paid grad programs, subsidies for Ed majors, etc. is a way your son can bridge the gap- no, you’re not interested in putting this on him. Your posts suggest that none of us have had to help our kids figure out a compromise- top choice major? top choice location? affordable? the right location? The right EC’s? Pick two- because you won’t get them all.
You just want to vent? Have at it. College is expensive, and it’s great that your D managed to figure it out. Now your son will as well. Maybe not with everything he wanted, maybe some flexibility required. Flexibility from you, flexibility from him. But you can do that without ridiculing people who are trying to help you.
The first house I bought had almost none of the things I was looking for except the neighborhood I wanted to be in- and affordable. It was kind of ugly, the decor was “old lady from the 60’s”, it had a concrete patio out back instead of the pretty porch or deck I wanted, and the kitchen was awful. But such a good lesson- we were so happy in that ugly house!!! Short commute! Manageable mortgage payments! Nobody cared if you spilled juice on the hideous wall to wall carpet!
Your son can get there. Give him the gift of learning to make trade-offs.
I have a sophomore at west Chester. We live in NJ. She didn’t have high stats. In fact her test scores sucked. She got almost 8k in merit. Wcu also gave a 22% tuition discount this year and gave out grants to kids who signed off campus leases. It ended up being cheaper for her to go there then rcbc.
Stop and think, your son isnt going to the NFL. Does he want an education or not? Tell him (and you)to put on your big boy pants and face reality. Prioritize, then figure out the options. You have been given a treasure trove of ideas here. Either take the advice or just listen to your kids GC. But shooting down all the expert advice here is foolish.
What does your son want? Of the colleges that cost $20k, which one does he like? Is he willing to work summers, to work during the semester to have the dorm/live on campus/football experience? Would he prefer to go to a CC and have a car?