@redpoodles I will speak to my friend politely. If I do end up deciding to switch out (worst case scenario), do you think my friendship with my roommate dwindle (we became friends last year, and we’ve been eating out together regularly ever since).
I don’t know. I would hope not. I would be very clear with her that you value her friendship very much and don’t want to lose it, and also that you value the boyfriend’s friendship (do you?) but you are uncomfortable being put in the “3rd wheel” place on a regular basis in your own room. Listening to someone “kiss and cuddle” all night = yuck for most people, you are not alone in this.
I hope the boyfriend will get a single. That seems to be the best solution.
Most people would be very uncomfortable in this situation. Keep us updated. Best of luck
I think it’s important to note that many here are parents. A lot of what they are saying is right when it comes to the right to a room and a comfortable environment, but as a student, there are normal and typical cases and compromises.
Having a SO sleep over on occasion is a very normal college experience. It takes the consent of all roommates, always, but it is not some outrageous thing.
If you aren’t comfortable with it at all, it is 100% fine to say no, just make your discomfort clear. However, if you are okay with it to some degree, I would try to be reasonable about it.
From this thread, it sounds like you fall into the category of comfortable on occasion. As she has worked with appearing properly around your parents, I would go the compromise route. If you aren’t there on the weekends, that sounds like a perfect time.
Tell her that while you want to be as accomodating as you can, you are not comfortable with him sleeping over with you there unless there is some sort of extreme situation, and that she is welcome to have him over when you leave for the weekend. That is plenty fair to everyone IMO if you are comfortable with it.
This.
I have zero issues with what consenting adults do, but invade my space or privacy? NO NO NO.
You’ve been terrific – and it sounds as if there’s been a bit of entitlement creep. You were okay with a bit, and she felt you were getting used to it, so now it’s happening more and more, and she wants you to be okay with that too. I’m sure you’ll be able to communicate that there’s just a line past which you’re just not okay with it. Let us know how the talk goes!