<p>Um...i think teenagers deserve more credit than you're giving them...I'm fairly certain that the common sense parts of my brain are developed. I suppose that the parents have the right to do this, their kids also have the right to resent them for it in the years to come when they go to a school they don't like. But hey, I'm going to take the smart root on this one and pay my own way.</p>
<p>"I'm going to take the smart root on this one and pay my own way."</p>
<p>eh.....</p>
<p>lol i meant route.... and i guess thats my only option since my parents cant really afford it.</p>
<p>I told our S early on that we had limited funds for him & his sister to put thru college. We told him that we had enough money to send them both to state flagship U, including room & board & how much that translated to if he wanted to go to any other school. We met with the CC several times about which schools offered merit aid for students similar to S & urged S to apply to several of those (he did). He ended up getting generous merit awards from several schools & chose one where he is very happy.
He never applied to or even considered any schools that any of us had any reservations about (tho we were concerned about where we'd find the $$$ if he got into some of his reaches). We are very pleased with the choice S made & he's extremely happy at his U (tho initially it was his safety--of course it's great to love your safety).</p>
<p>Could you please elaborate about what you & your folks have discussed about what they will & will not fund & why? Sometimes if you can talk it out, you can reach an agreement that works for everyone concerned. Several in our extended family & close friends have some reservations about the school because it's in/near a "bad" neighborhood, but security is great & neither S nor hubby nor I are worried about his safety. It seems a great "fit" for S & we're grateful for the generous merit aid, which has made it MUCH more affordable than it would have otherwise been.</p>
<p>marian... "I have also heard of cases where the parents refuse to pay for a faraway school on the grounds that similar programs are offered at nearby, conveniently located schools."</p>
<p>I can totally see their point! Unless money is no object, no loans are needed, no other kids need to be educated and a very comfortable retirement is secure, why should parents spend $10k - $40k MORE per year when an in-state school can provide an equal (or even near equal) education in a child's chosen major. </p>
<p>Let me put this another way.....If you lived in Maine, would you fly to another state for lobster??? And..furthermore.... would you expect/demand for someone else to pay for the trip?</p>
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Let me put this another way.....If you lived in Maine, would you fly to another state for lobster??? And..furthermore.... would you expect/demand for someone else to pay for the trip?
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haha, lobster in some place like Cali or Hawaii -vs- cold ole Maine? I'd choose a warmer beach scene anytime, even if mommie and daddy refused to pay my way !!!</p>
<p>Well, the good news is that lobster (at least University of Hawaii) is considered quite CHEAP, with out-of-state tuition rates lower than many resident tuitions. <a href="http://www.hawaii.edu/admrec/tuition.html#UG%5B/url%5D">http://www.hawaii.edu/admrec/tuition.html#UG</a></p>
<p>They have some outstanding departments, including their international studies & international business. Their medical school & law school are very competitive & difficult to get into.</p>
<p>From a strict value perspective, I have never understood how some schools can charge what they charge. If you think about it, what other commodity can you name where goods with wildly differing quality ratings cost the same? Combine that with the fact that my S's developing abilities do not yet include a keen sense of value (I sincerely envy those of you on this post whose kids have developed to that stage), and I would, if pushed, likely prohibit certain schools. Of course, as we all have learned, the best way to get a teen to want to do something is to prohibit it, so I hope I can continue to be more subtle, but ultimately, if my S does not get into any of the quality LACs he s applying to, I will push hard, and ultimately more than hard, for the State U. I'll make up the $ to him when it's time for grad school.</p>
<p>OK... I'll put it this way...</p>
<p>If you lived in Hawaii, would you go to Maine for it's beaches? ;)</p>
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<blockquote> <blockquote> <p>what other commodity can you name where goods with wildly differing quality ratings cost the same? <<</p> </blockquote> </blockquote>
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<p>Hey, at least that is better than the K-12 education system where the cities/states where the cost per student is the highest often provides the WORST product/education.</p>
<p>My brother-in-law, about15 to 20 years ago, refused to pay for a bachelor's education that would not lead to an employable degree. Thus, his two boys went to engineering school (one minored in Philosophy) and his daughter went to a school dedicated to business degrees. I thought it was awful at the time as they had little choice but 2/3 are now millionaires with the third one trying his darndest to catch up. I know for certain that at least his son #1 would never have chosen an engineering school but is was the training, experience and partners he met at this school that contributed to opportunity and his success. I certainly thought a lot about that when we were looking at schools for my son but we just didn't feel the need to restrict choices. </p>
<p>My son chose a school he thought would be great for his presumed major and now, after one year, he would like to major in something entirely different - yes, something that is not a great program at his present school! Now I am paying more than I ever would have agreed to for a low ranked program that could easily be upgraded by a transfer to many, many other institutions......sigh!!!</p>
<p>One learns so much for the poor second child! DH is thinking that his brother had the right idea and is already marketing the famed engineering schools to younger brother. We will be more involved in weighing value along with fit for son #2.</p>
<p>We can all post about what we would do or did do regarding paying for schools. It's a very individual-family decision. What's right for one family (parent's and children) might not be right for another family. </p>
<p>I'm sure some families make decision based on input from all parties and other families might not be so democratic. Some kids might try to insist on the 'higher priced' private school. Others may decide that without a good aid package the privates are too expensive.</p>
<p>I am just starting the process and I have had a short discussion with my parents. I am applying to some privates as well as the in-state flagship campus. I know my parents are worried about costs. We are trying to keep an open mind and see what happens. I am well aware that should things work out at a private school it will have been a joint parent-child decision in my family. If private school is for me I will be carrying some of the indebtedness too.</p>
<p>I was recently talking to some moms of seniors and, frankly, I was shocked how many were willing to pay 40K -50k per year for their child to go OOS to either private or public "dream schools" and major in subjects that will not lead to a career. It seemed that some of these moms are living vicariously thru their kids (these moms would have liked to have gone to these schools and therefore, their focus is on the school and not on their child's (short-sighted) chosen major.)</p>
<p>Now, before some jump to the wrong conclusion. I don't think all majors should lead to high 6 figure salaries. But I do think a major should lead to a job whose salary would provide a comfortable wage.</p>
<p>Time ran out and I wanted to add to above.</p>
<p>I have no problem with a child minoring in some beloved subject that won't likely result in a career. However, a chosen major should lead to a career. Afterall, we are not sending them to 4 years of never-ending summer camp.</p>
<p>I could not disagree more strongly with the idea that a child's major must lead directly to some specific career. I believe this has never been an especially good educational philosophy and I believe it is particularly ill-suited to today's world. An astonishing percentage of the jobs that people work at today did not exist twenty or thirty years ago. That trend is accelerating, not decelerating. A good liberal education will prepare students for that kind of change in the marketplace more than a directed major.</p>
<p>I took majors in classical languages and film criticism in college -- at a large, public "commuter" school. I have never had a job remotely connected to either field of study. Far from it not handicapping me, my liberal education gave me the broad based worldview, and instilled the analytical and functional skillsets, that are vital to success in my chosen profession.</p>
<p>I also don't understand the pressure to choose a practical major. First of all, as MilwDad said, the major is no longer the be-all and end-all in applying for jobs. I know an anthropology major now working as an I-banker, a classics major planning on med school, and a slew of humanities majors thinking of law school. Basically, there is no major so esoteric or specialized that there will not be some practical career options. open for you upon graduation.</p>
<p>Additionally, if students have a specific (and attainable) career goal related to their impractical major, the major is not impractical for them. People always ask me, what do you do with an English degree? My response: teach English. However, even students without such concrete plans shouldn't be discouraged from studying what they want. My younger brother is planning on majoring in history without any idea of what he wants to do with it. Yet, while my parents are concerned about whether or not he'll find a job that makes him happy, they aren't concerned about whether or not he'll be employable. They realize that a history major can easily become a teacher or lawyer, or pursue a career in politics, all reasonable options for a kid who would absolutely hate the business world.</p>
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I could not disagree more strongly with the idea that a child's major must lead directly to some specific career.
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<p>I'm de-lurking to say - amen! I majored in Biology as an undergraduate, thinking I'd go to medical school. Instead I wound up with an MA in Art History and am now in the rare book world. My science background has proved quite useful on occasion, since few people in my field have it.</p>
<p>My daughter is a freshman, planning to major in Classics. When people ask me what she's going to do with <em>that</em>, I say "anything she wants to". :)</p>
<p>My English major sister-in-law has been a children's librarian, a bus driver, a journalist, a nursery school teacher, a high school teacher, a would be Episcopalean priest and most recently a real estate developer. We think with the last she's finally found her calling! I've never seen her so happy.</p>
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<p>What majors lead to a job? Seems to me that the most selective schools and the majority of the students in those schools are NOT in those fields that lead directly to a job or career.</p>
<p>I guess I have serious qualms about directly linking UG college education with a particular career path . OTOH, my D is convinced of her career path and will maximze her opportunities to achieve that career path in college (Medical Doctor and/or Phd. Medical Research). So, as is usually the case, I have a foot firmly in both camps.</p>
<p>I do feel though that a good underpinning in the Liberal Arts will give her the necessary springboard if she changes her mind and desires to pursue a different field. That is the beauty of a broad Liberal Arts education that stresses thinking and communication skills.</p>