Hi, I’ve just finished my draft for my essay on the “how failure has shaped you” essay, in which I stated that because of reclusive nature, I didn’t receive what I had reached for. My parents are saying not to include that because it showed my shortcomings and made me look like not an outgoing person. However, I did stated how the experience did change me to becoming more confident. Is it ok to include the part about my reclusive nature?
Reread your draft.
Does the essay give the reader a reason to say yes to your application??
It can show how you overcame something in the past to make you different today.
“Reclusive nature”? “Didn’t receive what (you) had reached for”? How do those factors make me want to admit you to my college?
The basic nature of your personality is pretty hard to change. I’m sure there are so many aspects of your personality that would do a much better job of selling your application… why choose one that doesn’t seem to do the job?
To be honest, I think this prompt can be a mistake for a lot of kids. You have only 650 words in which to sell your application. Why spend some of them talking about a failure? Why not choose a prompt where you can dedicate all 650 words to positive things about you??
@bjkmom thank you for your input but I have to disagree on your opinion about the prompt. I believe that it is through failure that people change for the better and it is especially how you handle the failure that catch the admission officer’s eyes. I believe I grew a lot from this instance of failure and handled in a way that has made me become more confident
Advertising a weakness can lead them to question your thinking.
You may think you’re being honest or that this problem led to growth. But you don’t get to just proclaim that. It’s “show, not just tell.” What shows how you evolved? What involvement, what impact?
The essay is for your college admission review, not “bare your soul.” I can’t name a competitive college that goes looking for reclusive sorts.
@Mizuki I think @lookingforward is giving you great advice that I hope you listen to. While I agree that people learn a lot (perhaps the most?) from failure, you need to be careful. College adcoms love self-awareness and an essay about failure can convey that, but you need to be very good to work that topic.
Being reclusive is a very bad trait to adcoms, they want engaged students. If you can truly show (not tell) your growth using very specific and concrete examples, you might pull it off. But why take the that risk? Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor.
Think twice.
Good luck!
thank you @lookingforward and @psywar for you advice. but I’m having trouble explaining why I failed without listing some of these less desirable qualities. What would be a good way to explain this?
Why are you trying to explain why you failed?
This isn’t psychoanalysis or a hs English teacher’s assignment to write something where you self analyze.
How does airing your dirty linen get you into college? They want to see your strengths that they need on campus. Not a dissection of your failings. They aren’t looking for a mea culpa. You’re interpreting this wrong.
There’s are a number of prompts. Why choose this one?
All good advice. My DD’16 did the failure prompt. It seemed to work for her (she was accepted to all the schools she applied to) She described the audition process for band drum major, showed that she worked hard and specifically what she learned from the process, ultimately she did not get the position but then described what she did to turn the disappoint into a positive. She definitely did “show, not just tell”. It can work but you have to be positive.
I’m going to say that it’s okay if you can acknowledge how it shapes who you are and how you can deal with it. One of your strengths in fact may be self-awareness. If having failed because you were afraid to speak made you start to assert yourself more, I think it could work as an essay topic.
There are many kids who go through High School without the ability to advocate for themselves. An event which begins to change that pattern is a good one.
In the end, though, you want paint a picture of yourself as someone who has a way of dealing with this aspect of your nature, even if it is still evolving.