Is it possible to get into a prestigious college without any ECs?

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>If you haven't already, please read this thread:</p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=168108%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=168108&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>The home life has gotten worse. My mom just got thyroid surgery and a lot of other crap's been going on in which my parents and I get into fights and they detail me once more and remind me of the worthless wretch I am. I'm sick of this. It's hurt me so much mentally, so on Friday, I'm going to get referred to a psychiatrist. My parents are sending me to a psychiatrist because they say I need to get my brain corrected so I can see that I disrespect them. Honestly, I don't see how I disrespect them. My mother says I have no concern for her and her current condition right now, which is absolutely not true. She tells me that all I care about is myself. And all of this is because I asked to try out for the last school play. My parents were obviously *<strong><em>ed off because they don't want me being involved in anything, and now I'm supposedly going to be pulled out of Key Club and Spanish Club. Which means that I'll probably do nothing for the summer. Honestly, my parents verbally abuse me, so much that I've been thinking suicidal thoughts for the past year because I'm sick of growing up with this. And if this constant discouragement is to continue, will there be ANY chance of me getting into an Ivy League school or another place of prestige, considering that I will most likely be the valedictorian and providing that I score a 2400 on my SAT? If this were to continue (which will most likely happen. I don't think a psychiatrist will help much. She/He will just focus on me and not involve my parents that much. I know you've heard this from many teens, but honestly, my parents are a big part of the problem. I'm not the main pest, yet they tell me that I'm the core of all their problems. I wasn't supposed to be born; I was the product of an affair. My mom has reminded me that she wished she had an abortion when she was pregnant with me. It hurts. So bad), and I write about what went on in my essays and talk about it in my interview, would colleges have some mercy? Or would they take it as the excuse of an everyday slacker? I just need some advice. I'm really down now. I'm feeling terrible, and my parents don't want to listen to me because once again, I'm just this selfish, worthless, stupid, immature *</em></strong> that's sick in the head. Honestly, I think this won't change, unless I get emancipation a little after I turn 16. I know that this may sound really whiny to some, but you don't know me. I don't misbehave. I don't sleep around. I don't drink or do drugs. I'm a good kid. I honestly don't know what I have done to deserve all this disparagement. My psychiatrist better understand (after she most likely diagnoses me with OCD and a twitch of cyclotshmic disorder/clinical depression). Thanks, to anyone who'll listen.</p>

2

<p>I would get your counselor to explain your situation when you apply and then I think colleges would definitley take it into account.</p>

3

<p>In regard to your home life, I'm very sorry, that sounds like a pretty terrible situation. I really hope that it will get better for you.</p>

<p>In regard to college admissions - it is possible to get into Ivies without huge ECs. However, if you want to remain competitive in the admissions process, you have to do something with the time vacated by quitting your ECs. If you just spend your time sitting around at home watching TV or something, then, yes I think colleges may view your unfortunate home life as an excuse. If you dedicate yourself to something, whether it's a job, or a large-scale community service project, or some EC that you can pursue outside of school, I don't think your home turmoil would be viewed as an excuse at all.</p>

<p>Lastly, I think you may want to consider your college situation in perspective. If you're a freshman, you have plenty of time to do ECs. Heck, I only did 1 crappy EC during my freshman and sophomore years (I gained some sense during my junior year), and I still managed to get into some good schools. I think your home situation is more important to get sorted out right now than worrying about your ECs for college.</p>

4

<p>First, I'm glad your going to see someone for you family problems. I hope you feel better.</p>

<p>On your question, Your locked out of HYPSM without a good hook (like most of us). However, genaric ECs that your parents are making you quit are not hooks. However, a perfect SAT (or close) and a top class rank will be enough alone to get you into many very good colleges.</p>

5

<p>In my parent's perspective, seeing the psychiatrist is not about family problems. It's about ME and my being sick in the head. But I'll explain everything there.</p>

<p>Thanks you guys. But, what would you consider to be a "hook". I signed up for debate next year (and will be doing that for the next three years). We're doing NFL and Model UN. If I somewhow were great enough to be the best debater in the country, would that be a good hook? And I love to write. I have one chapter of a novel written. Would writing a novel be a good hook too, or would that make me a clone?</p>

6

<p>Writing a Novle and having it published is a hook.
Modle UN and just about any other EC that is offered at every high school in this country is not a hook.</p>

<p>From a thread I posted about a month ago.
<a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=155774&highlight=hook%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=155774&highlight=hook&lt;/a>


</p>

7

<p>Or you know, bill has a good point, why don't you try and help other kids in your situation?</p>

<p>"Teaching blind eskimo amputee orphans" is a little extreme, but most likely you can go and help little kids read, or tutor kids for free . . you know, just highlight your strenghts. . plus with a good GPA and good essay, and good SAT, you should be set for most schools . . a lot of kids I know who did NOT do any of the mentioned ECs you are trying to do still got into great schools, by highlighting their strengths. Also, I think you're in a bit unique situation, and by writing an essay about how this was a hinderance, but in the end you fought this and tried to do something and succeeded, that would be a great "life altering" experience essay . . .</p>

<p>good luck righteous, i hope things get better for you and your family. just remember that most parents are crazy to some degree, and a lot say rude comments, might abuse their kids, and just say a lot of untrue, crazy stuff (particularly foreign parents) . . and well, i'ts not RIGHT, but other people go through that . . you're in company my friend.</p>

8

<p>Alright. This is some really good advice, you guys. I'm already doing a Spanish-tutoring-thing of my own (at lunch though, because my parents got mad when I told them I wanted to take up tutoring after school. And the people that want tutoring don't want to stay after school anyway, so it's not a problem), and I like to help mentally-challenged kids do better in reading and writing and such. Community service may not be the strongest hook, but I like doing it and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside... <em>smiles</em></p>

<p>But again, thanks you guys. I have few friends who understand what's going on, and I'm thankful for them, as well as the things you have told me. </p>

<p>*I should round up all the little kids in my neighborhood and teach them how to read this summer, if my parents allow it.</p>

9

<p>You could actually write all these things down in novel and attempt that...and it might relieve some of the anger as well. Besides, you may actually be able to get others out of similar predicaments, who in turn may get you out of your own.</p>

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<p>memoirs of a cc'er</p>

11

<p>
[quote]
You could actually write all these things down in novel and attempt that.

[/quote]
I have attempted and succeeded. I have an index card that has every little thing from freshman year. If I lose that card, my life will be endangered.</p>

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<p>That was funny, Martha. Really, it was. In the direction it's going, my novel will partially be based on my life, but I want my work to be fiction, so I'm obviously going to add some things. For instance, the protagonist is modeled after me, but unlike the real me, she's in a relationship. Daydreaming is going to be perfect for this...</p>

<p>But then again, one of my friends has suggested that I divert to the idea of a student-teacher-relationship-story. She's one who loves deviance, so that's not surprising of her.</p>

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<p>No, that is too clich</p>

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<p>Ah yes, you are right. I wouldn't want to go on Oprah if that were to happen (thinks of James Frey...).</p>

<p>We were also thinking about doing one about a woman who manages a gigolo corporation. </p>

<p>But then again, the things I want to delve into are way too unsuitable for my age and "innoncent" reputation.</p>

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<p>do you have any relatives or siblings that you could move in with or is that not an option?</p>

16

<p>Nope, not an option.</p>

17

<p>Given what you have been through a parental abuse expos</p>

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<p>Well, don't you have to be sixteen to file for emancipation? I turn sixteen in December, and whether I stay with them or not, I WILL work as soon as possible once I do turn 16. But then there will be a lot of other responsibilities I'd have to face, so I don't want to see emancipation as a first solution. Maybe my seeing the psychiatrist might backfire on my parents and they'll realize their flaws. Tomorrow I'm getting my brain evaluated...</p>

19

<p>That is what I meant, I assumed you were 15 and a freshman. A social worker might help as well, but the best thing would be to attempt to minimize contact with them if possible unless they actively seek you out and create problems until then. What I am waiting for is to see if any of them attempt to abuse you physically, because then a formal legal case can be brought against them.</p>

20

<p>I don't think a social worker would be of much help. Over Christmas break, things got really bad between my mom and me (we got in a really big fight) and I had to spend some time at a teen shelter to chill out. No one listens to you there; they make it seem as if YOU are the CORE problem, that something is wrong with YOU, and that you're on your way to being a delinquent, if you aren't already. I'm sorry to sound like such a bigot, but that was based on my experience. No one really listened to me, and almost all my peers were either child prostitutes or kicked out of juvenile hall for violent behavior. They sent me to a "charter school", which isn't really a school. If you show up at the building, you automatically pass, and the teachers only get paid if you show up, so they really don't teach you anything. It sucked. And counseling only focused on ME, and my parents were not as involved as they should've been. So I'm just going to hang in there with the support I've been getting from my friends.</p>

<p>Also, yesterday went well. I'm not going to a psychiatrist/counselor yet; it's going to take some time because everyone at the hospital's booked. But the doctor in charge of giving me a referal was very nice. Honestly, I'd have to say he's one of the only two adults (the other being my 7th and 8th grade English teacher) who understand me. My mother was trying her best to make me seem like a brat; before she and my dad left the room, she told the doctor that "Kristine always tells us she wants to kill herself, especially if she can't get her way". That ****'d me off. And then she said, "Kristine's been asking me to let her see a psychiatrist for a while now, but I haven't. The reason why is because I don't want people at school to make fun of her because going to a psychiatrist makes you crazy. Honestly, I don't think she's crazy. She's smart [Grr... it ticks me off when she says that, and she really doesn't appreciate it...], not crazy". I was so mad...</p>

<p>My parents then left, and I told the doctor everything about how my parents make me out to be spoiled and selfish, yet all I want is to be involved in something productive. I never ask for material things (the most I've ever asked them was to get me braces, and I've felt guilty ever since...), and all I ask is support from them so I can be successful. I also told him that the suicidal thoughts/feelings resulted from my feeling of inferiority when compared with my rather affluent friends. The fact that my parents discourage socializing and involvement has made me feel unskilled over the years, a waste of space with nothing to give. It wasn't because I "didn't get my way". We then discussed my mother's attitude about seeing a psychiatrist, that truly, there isn't anything wrong with admitting you have a problem and seeking help for it. Again, I was thinking, "But what can I expect. This guy isn't going to take me seriously. No body does. Everyone sides with my parents and they barely see my side of the story, considering that I AM just a kid". I told him about the verbal abuse (towards me AND my little sister) and how my mom's excessive spending from QVC is starting to bother me, especially since she likes to rant about how we can barely afford anything. Yet here she is spending! I told him about my ambitions concerning college and ECs, how my parents look down on them, and again, I think he'll scorn me and won't take me seriously. I thought he was going to laugh at me. But despite my expectations...</p>

<p>He understood. He sympathized. And he told me that he thought I was a really great kid. He assured me that there was nothing wrong with aiming high. The guy went to STANFORD (w00t!) for undergrad., and he told me he had peers like me whose parents were the same way. These people stood strong. They pulled their ways through. They got there on their own, with no money, and their hard work eventually led to full-ride-scholarships. He told me that "yes, it would be great if your parents supported you, but sadly, you might have to do this on your own, but I think you can do it. You'll make it. And you're just a freshman, so you have plenty of time". Not even my counselor could've been so nice. It really made me feel good inside. Someone actually was glad to have met me and given me advice and reassurance. Someone cared. Someone understood. </p>

<p>And we talked about my parents' lack of support. I told him that both my parents had dropped out of high school, and then we were led to conclude that perhaps my ambition and desire for success intimidated my parents. Like kman stated earlier, my parents are the people who don't want me to achieve more than they did. In a way they feel inferior, and looking at me, they think of what they could've been when they were my age. And that has led to their resentment, a flaw on THEIR part. Considering this, I realize that I don't deserve to feel rotten. I don't deserve to feel like a thorn in my parents' asses. It's their attitude that's brought this forth, and it doesnt' need to meddle with my personality that has already been falling apart...</p>

<p>All and all, it was a good day. Surprisingly, my dad didn't try to pry into our discussion and criticize what the doctor and I talked about. I felt better, and even though I most likely will have to find success on my own, I believe it will make me a stronger person better equipped to face life's future challenges. </p>

<p>Sorry. This may seem really long to some of you, but I just wanted to divulge the outcome of such an englightening day. Many people don't understand the importance of sympathy and support, but really, these things can go a long way. They really can help a person feel better--and though many adults may not realize this--just taking some time to talk to a youth (even if you are a stranger) may just be enough to give him/her some inspiration, ensuring that he/her will be on the right path of goodness and prosperity. No matter what, I will find my way, and there is NOTHING my parents can do to stop that.</p>