<p>I just want an outside opinion on this - my mom says that she doesn't want me to stay on campus at college next year. The college I'm staying at is very safe and is an hour away from our house, so I just don't get the logic in making me drive two hours or more total each day. I know it would cost less and this is mostly a financial thing, but it's getting kind of ridiculous because she won't budge on the issue. I have slight anxiety and she thinks it would be better for me to live at home and commute instead, but I get more anxious over having to drive long distances. I feel like being away from my mom and not depending on her might get rid of the anxiety in the long run.</p>
<p>I've talked to her about this before, multiple times, but the more I bring it up, the more annoyed she gets about it. To be fair, I'm not even going to be 18 until the very end of my freshman year of college. I was just wondering if anyone could give me their opinion on the matter.</p>
<p>That’s a tough one for me. The college I’m hoping to attend next year is nearly 4 hours and there’s no possible way I can drive there. However, I do know people in a similar situation. </p>
<p>Both of them work in a town that’s an hour away so they have to commute every single day to get there. Both of them say it’s not worth it. It’s hard to wake up early in the morning to leave and when you’re tired it can be dangerous when driving. Even more so when you come back. Also, road conditions during bad weather have to be considered and you never know when you might have car trouble.</p>
<p>All in all, I think it would be better to stay on campus if it is possible. I think it would be less stressful that way.</p>
<p>I was in a similar situation. I had summer classes, so I did the commute thing, and it was a huge pain. 2 hours a day gone, plus 8 credits worth of classes, it wasn’t fun, and it meant I was busy from 9am to 9pm. Now I’m in the dorms, and while I don’t particularly like it (roommates, anxiety, insomnia, noise, etc) it’s nice to be within walking distance of classes, and have somewhere to go in the middle of the day. It also allows a lot more time for homework and studying.</p>
<p>This is going to be your first time attending college, yes? Typically, as a first semester freshman, it is extremely important to live on campus. Some schools require their freshmen to live on campus but I dunno how often schools require that. Because the reason for living at your house is primarily a financial reason, it is a lot harder to have a convincing argument as to why you should live on campus and maybe it’s not necessarily the right move. Driving in the dark, bad weather, flat tires, anonymous potential mishaps, bad highway driving, etc can all be a problem. Maybe you can work something out with your parents such that you live on campus the first semester and then live at home after. My friend lived 1 hour off campus, attending college for the first time last semester and it affected her grades greatly. Some people handle it better than others though.</p>
<p>It does not make sense to commute an hour to college. However, dorm living is not your only option if she simply does not want you to do that for whatever reason.</p>
<p>If the main reason is financial, and not personal, you should offer to work during the summer and during the school year to help make up the difference in R/B costs. Room and board can be notoriously expensive (far more than off-campus apartments, typically), and it might be that R/B costs are unaffordable or would be uncomfortable for your family.</p>
<p>If you recognize that it is a financial issue (which you do), you can’t expect her to just budge on the issue. Money doesn’t grow on trees- your family won’t get more of it because you want to live on campus. Maybe ask if you pay, say 60% of R/B costs, could she afford 40%? But you need to offer to help somehow, rather than just expecting that she will pay for it. The majority of students in this country live at home when they attend school, and it’s precisely because money is an issue, and R/B is just extremely expensive.</p>
<p>Edit to add: I currently attend a regional comprehensive that attracts a fair amount of returning and mature students, as well as regional students. I have many students in my classes who do commute an hour each way to school because that’s what they need to do. Remember that you’re going to school for the education, and that’s worth whatever sacrifices you need to make-- it may not be the perfect experience, but it’s a good one nonetheless.</p>
<p>I know several people who make an hour long commute at my school. They all HATE it and are really picky with their class schedules.</p>
<p>One of my friends, her parents forced her to do the same thing. For sophomore year, she went ahead and signed a lease for an apartment near-campus without her parent’s knowledge.</p>
<p>Another did everything she could to schedule her classes as just Tuesday/Thursday, but that meant there were a lot of classes that she couldn’t take.</p>
<p>I think an hour is really just to much of a commute for college. The gas money you’d be spending probably wouldn’t save you that much with comparison to living on-campus or even near campus.</p>
<p>You really should do everything in your power to live on-campus.</p>
<p>Anyways, I don’t see how it’s really that economical. You’re talking about 120 miles. If you have a car that’s really good on gas, you might get 30 miles to the gallon, so you’re looking at 4 gallons a day. You’ll probably have classes five days a week. That’s 20 gallons a week. Gas is around $3 right now in cheap states. That’s $60 a week or about $240 a month. Then you have to factor in insurance, maintenance, and if you have a car payment. That’s a car with good gas mileage. In addition, you lose two hours a day that you could either be working on schoolwork or having a job. If you aren’t working those two hours, then that’s $14.50 a day or $72.50 a week, which is $290 a month. So you’re looking at living at home costing you more than $500 a month. I don’t know where you live, but you could easily find a decent place to live for less than $500 a month here, plus it’s much more convenient.</p>
<p>By the time you do all the community, you could pay for a dorm. She needs to learn to let go and let you grow up. You want get the full college experience with her controlling you.</p>
<p>Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. Apartment/off campus housing isn’t an option because I’ll be too young for 90% of freshman year. I’ve been applying for jobs around town for a year with no luck, but I applied to 2 more today to try and get a job for the summer. Hopefully if I can save up some money and contribute to the cost, I might be able to live on campus.</p>
<p>^
Well, true. I know my parents wouldn’t cosign anyway though, so there’s no use in trying. And most of the apartments around the campus would end up costing more money than living in a dorm, when you factor in food and gas money.</p>
<p>Her concern is understandable, but there are some ways you could possibly convince her. Point out that commuting that far sucks and is a complete waste of time and hardly 100% safe in itself, especially if you’re in an area with icy roads. Also, the opportunity to meet people by living on campus is really irreplaceable.</p>