<p>So...i don't know where the last thread went but okay...</p>
<p>...What's your opinion on this?</p>
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<p>Do you think guys approach girls solely for their looks or personality?</p>
<p>IMO, sometimes i think the ugly/trashy/whatever girl can get guys because guys are probably going to think they have a lower chance by getting rejected by her...just my $0.02.</p>
<p>It depends on the guy and girl. Desperate guys will go for desperate girls who open their legs to anyone. </p>
<p>There is a reason why some girls are called “easy”. They are easy for any guys to score.</p>
<p>Guys don’t approach girls for their personality becuase they don’t know the girls. It’s obviously because they’re hot. If 2 girls were equally attractive but one looked “easier”, the easier one would get approached more.</p>
<p>guys hit on easier girls yes thats true. But guys dont take those “easy girls” seriously nor feel love toward them. Guys desire talented “hard to approach” girls thats why people say brave men gets beauty</p>
<p>You’re over generalizing about people, there’s not a silver bullet answer to your question. The main thing to know, people boys/girls ect. will hit on a person that’s more approachable. That means someone who gives them the right body language cues, and is willing to talk.</p>
<p>There are some beautiful girls out there that can’t get a date because they put out the “B” vibe, and project “I’ll squash your ego if you look at me the wrong way”. They get hit on plenty, maybe a flirtation look or casual comment, but they’re so wrapped up in themselves that they don’t even get that someone was trying to make contact. </p>
<p>Of course part of this happens because they simply ignore the efforts of people they’re simply not interested in, so they don’t count 
Note: even people you don’t find attractive that hit on you count as people, you can’t say no one is showing interest. The people/person your interested in is not showing interest.</p>
<p>Finally, you can’t just wait around and hope someone will come up to you and spill their guts out. It helps if you’re friendly and are willing to engage in some casual conversation. This will let them know they can talk to you when they see you.</p>
<p>Top things that drive me crazy</p>
<p>1: The 1000 mile stare: People walk by you and pretend you don’t exist.
2: The wall: Person you talk to that will only answer with yes and no, you have to drive conversation.
3: The stoic or frown: Smile, it’s not going to kill you.</p>
<p>These are clear signs of stay away don’t talk to me that people put one to protect themselves. Remember to turn these off if you see someone you want to talk to.</p>
<p>Bottom line: If you’re as pretty as you say, and you getting no feedback, the problem isn’t the people around you, it’s who you’re projecting or worse case who you are…</p>
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Can’t lie, looks are #1, that buys you about 1 minute of undivided attention. However, the personality/approachability kicks in after that initial contact. Unless you’re talking to a obsessive delusional nut :)</p>
<p>Mike</p>
<p>Thanks, Mike.</p>
<p>Matt</p>
<p>Guys hit on girls who they think looks like they might be interested. If the girl looks like they don’t feel like socializing at all, only jerks would hit on her and annoy her on purpose.</p>
<p>@ Paramike: thanks for the post :]</p>
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<p>This. Just summed up everything for me…in a way…haha</p>
<p>Yesterday, this one girl (kinda an acquaintance) came up to me and told me I looked sad…lol…so i suppose i should try to smile more…but i don’t wanna look like a creep hahaha…(but i think it was just a combo of me being tired + stressed out :P)</p>
<p>Honestly, I think it’s a combination of me …and some outside factors (like going to a predominately white HS so interracial sating would be a bit odd + none of the guys really exactly are my type/very cute etc. etc.)…and perhaps i could work more on my personality (even though i’d say it’s good–i’m nice, funny, smart, very talkative etc. etc.)…but i think it’s just as equally important because one of my best friends (who isn’t THE best looking is still able to get sooo many guys because of her bubbly/funny personality)…</p>
<p>But overall, I’d say it’s me…because i have a very “innocent/clean-cut/goody-good two shoes” image to myself–plus I’m a muslim…so i suppose that kinda makes ppl think twice about coming up to me…or i could just look a bit intimidating? lol idk…</p>
<p>I think college will hopefully change all this…so i think i’m gonna chill out for a bit…haha. :P</p>
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<p>I feel you, let me tell you it’s not easy to get an objective/unbiased view of oneself. You might be one of those “heart of gold” people. People describe them as, he/she looks really mean/tough/gruff, but once you know them you’ll really like them.</p>
<p>These folks have it hard because in a society where dating/love are based on initial impressions, you’re just going to get a lot fewer hits/opportunities. You end up scaring a lot of people off. Not because you’re not a nice person, it’s just your packaging Think of how movie starts are presented to the public, they look so nice and approachable, people end up loving them…they feel they could be their friends.</p>
<p>Secondly, and maybe most important to understand your scenario. It’s not any easy situation to be in, I don’t know your upbringing or background, but if you’re in what amounts to be a foreign culture, for instance lets say “white middle America”, and you’ve been brought up “strong Afro-American Georgia girl”, it’s hard to attract boys even if you where white because of the cultural differences. </p>
<p>If you really want to date or be in the mix of things with the boys at your school, you have to brush that chip off your shoulder and not use the “I’m not white and that’s why…” excuse for your failed attempts at relationships. That really applies to a lot of people that aren’t willing to look at themselves objectively and recognize that they aren’t the perfect/ideal person. Also realized the culture you’re in somewhat defines what perfect and/ideal represents, it can be a far cry from what you understand/believe.</p>
<p>For example, if you’ve ever watched American Idol during the first few weeks, the show focuses on the people that really don’t have a clue what they project or who they are in the eyes of other people. Both from a personality and cultural POV. You have world famous judges telling them they can’t sing or worse they have a terrible persona/personality. These poor people are shocked and don’t really know what to say or feel, but they definitely don’t believe the judges or don’t want to believe the judges. Most of these guys go on and can’t break through their own self perception. The whole process is really cruel, but makes for excellent TV. :)</p>
<p>Note that you won’t be able to change or for that matter, understand how people perceive you from the outside overnight. It takes a long time and an honest internal desire to make a change of this nature. </p>
<p>Finally, you may not want to change who you are, maybe you’re right and you just need a new setting like College to have things work out. That being said, at least try and be aware of who you project. It will help you better understand why people may treat you a certain way and give you the advantage in knowing how to deal with situations in the future.</p>
<p>In society/work/play, you are who people think you are…</p>
<p>Mike</p>