<p>***I agree–in this household, we only open any mail WITH advance permission. ***For S, he wasn’t particularly interested in many of the schools, after he had been accepted by the school he figured he’d be attending & couldn’t be bothered opening most of his mail (got a TON of spam). With D, she was away on a monthlong trip when she got a very fat envelope during the middle of the month she was away. I didn’t tell her anything but presented the envelope when we picked her & S up at the airport. She was SO HAPPY–she had figured that since she hadn’t heard anything she was auto-rejected and was just so surprised & overjoyed. It was hard for me to wait but I really wanted her to enjoy her moment. :)</p>
<p>Really does sound like there are other issues when someone else opens your mail, reads AND discards it without even letting you see it! I would be pretty upset, but maybe different families have different dynamics. Wouldn’t fly well around here.</p>
<p>Last summer while Happykid was out of town, a semi-fat envelope arrived from her community college. I set it aside because I figured it was more “welcome to our college” info. and would include details about when she should go to orientation. After she got home, I mentioned the envelope to her and she opened it and started screaming and dancing around the house. She’d been awarded a competitive full tuition and fees scholarship for her first year. I am SOOOOOO glad I wasn’t tempted to open that envelope!</p>
<p>Well, in my case, ALL of my college letters are opened/scanned before I even get to read them becasue my guidance counselor makes a copy ‘just in case’. I still think it’s BS and she should let the students read the letters first.
But in your case, yep. I’d be ****ed off too.</p>
<p>My dad was constantly opening my college mail, before decisions were pouring out! I kept scolding him and finally he decided to stop. However, yesterday, my USC letter came and he called me (I’m currently out of state) and asked for permission. I granted it and was relieved he asked first. Plus, he told me it was a big envelope, so how could I not want it opened?</p>
<p>Was the letter addressed to your mother? Of course not. She really should be ashamed, unless, of course, you gave her permission, which apparently you did not.</p>
<p>Ask her if it’s okay if you open any letter addressed to her. Maybe she can receive the results of her pap smear from you! It’s no different from what she did to you.</p>
<p>If my mom keeps opening my mail after we’ve had this same discussion many many times what should i do? I’ve given her explicit directions NOT to open my mail under any circumstances but after about a week she forgets about the discussion again.</p>
<p>I try to get the mail every day, but on those days when she gets it before me she ALWAYS opens it. Finding the congratulation letters already opened are the worst :(</p>
<p>I don’t know that this is the best approach, but if you usually get the mail, then open every piece of it addressed to her – and do it with a jagged edge, so it’s obvious. If she complains, then explain it’s exactly the way you feel, too. You’re only giving her as much respect as she gives you.</p>
<p>I don’t know about morally wrong, but it’s extremely invasive and annoying, and I would throw a fit if my parents did it. So I think you (the OP) are right to be upset.</p>
<p>Well, it’s not actually legal to open somebody else’s mail, for one thing…OTOH, if your mom is paying for you to go to college, you are on some ambiguous ground there, unfortunately.</p>
<p>I don’t know what you should do. Opening her mail sounds rather hillarious, but she probably won’t care. You may just have to accept that your mom, who is going to help you pay for college, is just this way. The bad news is that she can’t help being interested in your life, the good news is that she can’t help being interested in your life.</p>
<p>Good luck with the rest of your letters. Believe it or not, someday, at family gatherings, the fact that mom kept opening the mail will become a hillarious comedy bit you can do for everyone. There are certain things I do which my kids laugh at me for to such an extent that I think their life would be less joyful without having those things to laugh at. Write a stand up routine about the mail, you’d be surprised by how much better it will make you feel.</p>
<p>Idk, I have more of a problem with her throwing away the letter and not even letting you read it for yourself. Yeah, a parent should let their kid open THEIR decision letter, but it stinks that after she read it, she just threw it away like it was her letter, not your’s…</p>
<p>As a parent, I would never do this except for a USC acceptance package. That would be burned on sight. lol. Parents need to step back and realize it’s there kids life and hard work that brought the letter to the home.</p>
<p>howie, I’m only suggesting this because I know a friend who had their letter open and was told that they were rejected only to found out that they were actually accepted and their parents simply didn’t want them to go to the school… so, maybe you should call the school just to get a confirmation on the decision because that would totally suck if that happened to you as well!</p>