Is my common app essay too cliché/dull?

For my common app essay I have decided to go with question #1 (for those of you who don’t remember it: “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story”). I have written two different essays for this question.

The first version is essentially about my background and identity. My parents came from a third world country and I wrote about my experience visiting that specific country and being able to see my grandpa before he passed away months after the trip. Even though this stuff is very important to me, I don’t want it to seem like a clichéd story about immigrant parents nor do I want it to seem like a “sob” story since I talked about my grandpa’s death. I’m just worried that this essay will be brushed aside with a pool of others like it.

The second one I wrote is about my passion for reading. I used a metaphor throughout the piece about how books are worlds and how I have explored hundreds of them so far in my life. I’m worried that this topic might seem dull, it’s also a bit short being around 350 words as of now.

Thanks for the feedback, and if anyone is interested in really reading and critiquing my essays, I’m willing to PM them as long as it isn’t reproduced and is kept absolutely private.

Too many students fall into the trap of trying to write an essay that is “unique” and “different from the rest.” Your essay should be about something central to you, and who you are as a person. If it takes some cliche topic to get that point across, so be it. It’s better to have an essay that comes completely from the heart than an essay on a topic that may seem somewhat fabricated to impress admission officers.

Thank you for your advice! The two that I wrote are definitely from the heart, they just need some polishing and then I’ll have to choose between them.

Don’t worry about the first essay sounding like a cliche child of immigrants or sob story. If it comes from the heart and you pour every ounce of yourself into it, then I’d go with that one. Just be able to back up your story with anecdotes, details, and things that make it very personal. An excellent college essay does not have to be amazingly unique. An excellent college essay has to do the writer’s personality justice–it has to be an essay that you care about and that only YOU can write. That doesn’t mean others can’t write on the same topic, but no one should be able to write the exact details and anecdotes you write. Don’t worry too much about it. Just really make sure it reflects your voice and something you love. Good luck!

Thanks for the feedback! That definitely makes me feel a lot better about what I’ve wrote.