Is my CommonApp up to par?

<p>I'm applying schools like Duke, Vandy, Upenn, etc and I want to know if anyone would please read my CommonApp essay (the main one) and tell me if it's above, below, or on par with essays of people who get accepted to those schools.
I don't think I can PM because I don't have enough posts, so It may need to be through email.
I'd REALLY appreciate it guys.
Thanks to anyone who offers!</p>

<p>Hi. I’m willing to look at it. I’m starting to question mine also. Perhaps we can swap. Just PM me.</p>

<p>If you both want to send yours to me, I’d love to join this little club! PM me!</p>