Is my conclusion too corny?

College Essays
1

<p>Life surely gave me a lemon this summer, and I hope my attempt of making sweet lemonade out of it did not go in vain. </p>

<p>-----hahah...i know it kinda sounds so cliche...but it rlly fits my whole essay (which doesn't hv any kind sof cliche at all..lol)</p>

2

<p>lol…its good</p>

3

<p>hmm…so do u think I shd keep it as it is?</p>

4

<p>I think that you should find your own words.</p>

5

<p>“my attempt of making sweet lemonade out of it did not go in vain.”-kinda clunky. maybe change “out of it” to “from it” or something. or delete it altogether…idk</p>

6

<p>unless your essay was about lemons or lemonade…i’d say think of something original :)</p>

7

<p>REally, no one can tell you unless they see the rest of your essay</p>

8

<p>Really, no one can tell you unless they see the rest of your essay</p>

9

<p>well, my essay was abt my summer experience (trust me, it wasn’t just another missionary story…I basically lived on my own…or had to…)…so, based on that I wrote that conclusion. I mean I can just to straight forward, and say soemthing like, I learned how to make the best out of a situation, and not be too worried about why or how i’m in that situation. just face it…something like that right?</p>

10

<p>Well, are you showing exactly how you made the best of a bad situation? </p>

<p>Think of it like this. Which is better:</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>or</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>[The</a> I Have a Dream Speech - The U.S. Constitution Online - USConstitution.net](<a href=“http://www.usconstitution.net/dream.html]The”>The I Have a Dream Speech – The U.S. Constitution Online – USConstitution.net – U.S. Constitution.net)</p>

<p>Don’t state or tell that you learned something: show what you did and thereby learned. Can you conclude by showing yourself doing something that you learned? Something memorable, something that distinguishes you from other applicants? Anybody can say “I learned how to make the best out of a situation”. Only you can give the personal, revealing details that set your traits and your experience apart from everyone else’s.</p>

<p>[Show</a>, don’t tell](<a href=“http://users.wirefire.com/tritt/tip1.html]Show”>http://users.wirefire.com/tritt/tip1.html)</p>