Based on the additional information provided by other posters, your situation is very similar to what my children face, not bc we don’t know the costs or bc we expect them to do what we did, but simply bc we can’t afford what schools say we can. Their budgets are actually smaller than yours.
They have managed to attend college and complete their desired majors, and the 2 who have graduated from college have good careers w/o having attended a $65,000/yr school.
My current sr is on the merit hunt. Her list is carefully crafted to incorporate schools where she is in the top 10-25% of their stats. She has looked for schools that offer competitive scholarships based on her strengths and what she can bring to the school. She has looked for elite honors programs that offer special mentoring and opportunities in her desired area.
She will not be attending a top school bc we can’t afford them. But, we hope that her experience will be similar to her siblings. Her current college sibling is part of Bama’s CBH program which is an elite honors program focused on developing research skills. It has been a great program for him and has met his needs.
You’ll find a lot of top students face similar financial restrictions. The idea that top students only attend elite schools denies financial reality.