<p>Here's my essay for "what appeals to me most about Columbia and why"; it is right around world limit so i cant add much more - only take away and add something else. Is it okay, or is the beginning a little too general? Thank you!</p>
<p>What appeals to me most about Columbia is something my seventeen years of life are unfamiliar with. From when I began first grade till now, Ive been living in a homogeneous town in suburban New York the kind of place where everyone dresses similarly, and the concept of secrets makes heads turn. Columbia offers me the chance to interact with people of differing ethnicities to those with eclectic political and religious views in one of the most diverse universities in the nation. By playing a significant part in this diversity myself, I feel that my education would know no limits; Id be constantly learning simply by conversing with my classmates daily. Additionally, my knowledge would be augmented by the opportunities and obstacles that lie in the Big Apple itself, making for a totally edifying experience. Columbia also appeals to me immensely for the opportunity to further my position as a member of the community and pursue the research Ive been doing at Columbia Medical Center for a year and a half now. Though Im proud of the two studies Ive completed at Columbia already, I would love the chance to make more progress, as new questions have arisen from my last study that require answers. Being a Columbia student, Id be just five subway stops on the 1 train away from the lab. Plus, Columbias SURF program offers the potential to meet even more scientists at the College of Physicians and Surgeons that I may have already met and would love to work with.</p>
<p>For someone like you, who has already been involved with the school, i think you approached the prompt perfectly. Saying that you want to continue your tenure at Columbia as well as immersing yourself in the diversity present on the campus is an intelligent approach.</p>
<p>Thanks for the great feedback! Yeah my goal was to convey how much the educational experience would be valuable due to the diversity but also emphasize how much I have loved my experience with Columbia thus far :].</p>
<p>Just a word of caution. Until the part about Big Apple (ie, about 1/2 way into it), this could apply to any urban school, anywhere. It’s what adcoms sometimes call generic. It’s not about * Columbia* until that part about the research at CMC. Can you rethink this? The Q is what appeals to you about Columbia- not about an urban setting. This is a problem for NYU and C- kids need to be aware of the wonders- and the challenges- of the big city…but many confuse the location with the school. Don’t risk that adcoms read the first few lines and get that “yeh, yeah, another kid who wants urban” reaction.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice! I was thinking that the beginning was too general, too, so I decided to include how I want to continue my research there in the beginning of the essay and include how I like the city/campus vibe toward the end. Do you think this would be better?</p>