<p>I have been dating this girl for a bit of time. She is great: funny, nice, fun to be with, caring, intelligent. Easily the best girl I have ever been with. However, she is also perhaps the least attractive girl I have been with. She isn't bad looking, she's cute maybe a bit above average, but she isn't gorgeous. In all modesty, I'm pretty good looking and even she has told me she thinks I am better looking than her and too good for her (which makes me feel really uncomfortable). She makes me happy and I find her attractive enough, but I cannot get over the nagging suspicision that I could find a better looking girl. My friends and everyone else tells me to be happy that I found someone so great, and not wory about it, but I do. Really too, I don't want to lead this girl on, because I like her a lot. Thanks!</p>
<p>What’s more important, finding a better looking girl or being with a girl who is “nice, fun to be with, caring, intelligent. Easily the best girl I have ever been with” and who “isn’t bad looking, she’s cute maybe a bit above average,” especially when “I like her a lot.”</p>
<p>Do you want a better looking girl who lacks personality and is a bore to hang out with? Do you want a better looking girl who comes with a load of baggage and will turn your world upside down with unnecessary drama? Do you want a better looking girl solely as an attractive accessory item? Do you need a girl with model looks to feed your own ego?</p>
<p>I agree with Chuy. I think you have answered your own question–LOL. I want to congratulate you on taking a more mature look at your life. It sounds as though you’ve reached the level of maturity to understand that relationships come in the form of a package: looks, personality, intelligence, humor, compassion, empathy, fun, ability to make compromises, loyalty, respect, etc. </p>
<p>It seems as though you are beginning to look within yourself and search for your list of adult priorities. I think you’re on the right track here–It sounds as though you’ve found a terrific girl for all of the right reasons. If when you look within yourself and you still see the type of guy that will drop a girl solely based on her looks, than maybe you should let her go out of respect for her. But based on your original post, I think you really do like her. Enjoy the relationship and respect her for who and what she is—not for how she compares to a super model.</p>
<p>The problem with a relationship which is too one sided in looks is that the lesser part will almost always feel like she isn’t enough for her partner (Especially if it is a her, since looks are more important for females self conscious), which creates a lot of tension.</p>
<p>The question is if you can live with that, it will never really go away and is a bit frustrating at times since she will always feel that you make a sacrifice to be with her and will therefore not really feel that she can trust that the relationship will hold.</p>
<p>And of course you making this question on a forum means that she is correct in thinking so, you realize the problem now? I do not say that this problem is unmanageable, every relationship have its problems, the question is just if you can live with this one in addition to the rest already coming with the relationship.</p>
<p>Edit: And to you other guys, relationships between people of really different looks are rare not only because the top ones don’t want the bottom ones but also because the bottom ones do not think that they deserve the top ones which makes the relationship much more awkward than it would be otherwise. There is a reason why they say that you should try to find someone roughly as attractive as yourself.</p>
<p>Yeah, i just kind of realized that even though i’ve been with some pretty hot girls, most of those were just very shallow, superficial experiences.
I just have this thought in the back of my head that I could get a really hot girl who also is a fantastic person, because I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive. Although,kit does seem like hotter girls have more drama, are promiscuous, play stupid games. I’ve just reached the point in my life where I am sick of that ****. But I suppose you could always have that mindset of getting someone hotter and with that mindset you won’t be happy. At the same time I don’t want to settle.</p>
<p>Do you want the hot girl so you can f**k her? Or so you can get more social status? </p>
<p>Or do you want a relationship for its own sake?</p>
<p>Answer those questions, and you’ll find your solution.</p>
<p>all of the above, probably the latter more. I’ve messed around a lot, I just want something meaningful at this point most of all. It just gets old hooking up with girls, it’s fun, but i’ve reached the point where I want more. IDK, I just don’t want to lead her on, even though I genuinely do really really like her.</p>
<p>IMO, enjoy the relationship you’re in and see where it goes. If it starts fizzling out, be nice and end it in a respectful way. If it continues, great. Unless you’re seriously looking to settle down and find a wife, enjoy each relationship for what it is at that particular time in your life. Value each relationship because you’re bound to learn something about yourself with each one.</p>
<p>omg…is that you??? i cant believe you made a thread about me!</p>
<p>i cant believe this. im so hurt…</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>Keep her, and don’t ever tell her about CC. ;)</p>
<p>Physical beauty fades with the years…</p>
<p>I can tell u by the 30s, 40s, women and men start to lose their 'physical attractiveness" because of age, not taking care of themselves, etc.</p>
<p>But inner beauty</p>
<p>NEVER goes away :)</p>
<p>
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<p>and the same holds for intelligence or social ability or anything really</p>
<p>my first boyfriend and i were very awkward because he was like “you’re a girl and you go to caltech, can’t you find much better guys” o.0</p>
<p>and he was always afraid of losing me. ironic because he found a new girlfriend before i did.</p>
<p>really any relationship where one partner feels like he’s below or above the other partner will probably be awkward</p>
<p>all of these people saying ‘only inner beauty matters’ are idiots. It certainly shouldn’t be irrelevant. but successful relationships require physical attraction as part of the attraction of one person to another. Physical attractiveness is part of a greater picture in evaluating someone’s attractiveness. It’s certainly an important one, and it certainly isn’t the only one. But if part of the picture is missing, then there’s a problem.</p>
<p>Is the issue that you aren’t attracted to her at all physically? Or that you know that there are better-looking girls out there.
As you’ve prolly realised, some of the attractive girls out there know that they’re attractive and thus expect you to do anything to get a piece of dat. Some aren’t.</p>
<p>Last time I checked, “inner beauty” never made anybody horny. A relationship without good sex(motivated by physical attractiveness) is merely a platonic friendship at best.</p>
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<p>That’s why you keep dating young chicks. You keep getting older, they stay the same age.</p>
<p>And he’s in college; I doubt he’s looking for a wife.</p>
<p>There is an expression:</p>
<p>Beauty fades but dumb lasts for ever.</p>
<p>I think you answered your own question.</p>
<p>thread: Is she attractive enough? </p>
<p>post: …I find her attractive enough…</p>
<p>it sounds like you made this post because you wanted to talk about all the hot chicks you could bag. </p>
<p>also you sound like a tool.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>A little bit bitter there huh? </p>
<p>It is a legit question, so please keep your comments to your self.</p>
<p>To everyone else, thank you. I’m just being kind of stupid and looking for excuses because while I like being close to people it also scares me. The grass isn’t always greener, and I should know that.</p>
<p>What fun about attractive girls? It’s all novelty. It’s hard to be attractive and have people interested in you because you feel as though people are only interested in your good looks.</p>
<p>It’s important to be attracted to the person that you’re with. That doesn’t mean that this individual has to be the hottest person on the planet, but you have to have a level of physical attraction to her for it to be a secure and working relationship.</p>
<p>I’m a model, I’ll just throw that out. I’m dating someone that is obviously not as attractive as me but I’m extremely happy. I’m physically attracted to him so that’s all that matters to me. Looks aren’t that important so long as I have someone I can trust and get along with.</p>
<p>It sounds as if your biggest concern with her is her appearance. Yet you mentioned she’s cute and a bit above average looking (!?). To me that sounds as if she’s probably plenty good-looking enough, even if she’s not as attractive as some of the others you’ve known. Looks don’t, or shouldn’t, determine whether you’re too good for someone, or not good enough for someone. Unfortunately, in our society too much emphasis is placed on appearances. If everything else is great or good about her, as long as she’s not downright ugly, I’d recommend not making an issue out of it.</p>