<p>S has a friend that has chosen to attend the private LAC that he has been attending. After loans/grants/scholarships, it is costing about $10k/year for COA for the friend. Friend's mother does not want her to go to this school at all and is actually trying to sabotage her getting there (throwing away mail from school, denying ANY help whatsoever financially, emotionally, physically, etc) and friend's father said he will try to help, but from what I can see, I doubt much will happen financially.</p>
<p>Part of what ticked the mom off was that she wanted her to go to a particular state school (UMichigan) and she didn't want to go there. She is following my S to school, even going so far as signing up to take classes with my S and they have nothing to do with her major or interests! My S thinks she is really making a mistake with copying his classes.</p>
<p>I feel like telling the friend that she would be better off going to a CC for a while and continuing to live at home. State schools here without scholarships, would be way more that $10k a year and I assume this late in the game, a state school wouldn't offer assistance. I don't know if it's my place to tell someone that. This is a very close friend of my S and we have known this kid very well for years. </p>
<p>My H and I are wondering if she'll even matriculate. I can't see how with no parental support and a parent trying to prevent any success that a student could make it.</p>
<p>I would suggest you say nothing. If this student cannot find a way to pay the bills, she will not be allowed to enroll anyway. Just let THAT family figure it out. It’s really their problem, not yours.</p>
<p>Let your son and the friend “work out” the class following stuff. I vote for not saying anything to the parents. It’s quite difficult for Michigan parents to understand why their kids might not want to go to UofM – I know I fought that battle thirty some years ago with my own parents --and like Thumper says it will all play out this month when the bills come due. I can’t forsee any good in getting involved.</p>
<p>I know I wouldn’t say anything to either of the parents. I just feel like this girl needs some kind of guidance in this whole issue. I would just hate to see her counting on going all summer, then when reality (the bill) hits, she has no backup plan.</p>
<p>bbkitty- The girl has guidance-her parents. The reality is the girl will not accept that her parents will not cough up the 10K. Stay way clear of this drama and take your son with you. If you do not involve yourself into the situation it will be easier for your son to ease himself away from the friend’s family problems. Your family and son deserve to enjoy the freshman experience unencumbered.</p>
<p>The parent is NOT trying to prevent any success. There are people who would have given their right arm to get their kid into UMich. UMich may be the absolute right choice for many kids and following a friend to a LAC, racking up a lot of loans may be the wrong choice. You should tell your S if he is really a friend he will tell his friend to LISTEN to why the parents want UMich, and to give it a try (if not too late – how sad - hopefully parents sent in the Umich deposit – I would have)</p>
<p>No, parents sent in no deposits anywhere. They didn’t even help with her FAFSA. Neither of her parents went to college at all. The mother wanted UMich because of name recognition. She never once took S’ friend to visit any schools, never encouraged looking at ANY other schools.</p>
<p>They’ve been like best friends for a couple of years. Exclusive boyfriend-girlfriend relationship? No. From what H and I can tell, we think she wants it to be though. </p>
<p>We would be happier if she went somewhere else, because we don’t want her sucking up S’ time.</p>
<p>UofM is not a cheap school even for in-state kids and merit money is scare for the middle class in the state. Who knows if the Promise scholarships will even pay out. In the long run $10,000 a year for K or Hope or one of the better Michigan privates is not a bad deal. You’ll have to let us know what the outcome is come August LOL. As a mom of three boys I can understand why the “following” part might be bothersome but I’d still stay out of the fray.</p>
<p>That was 10K a year AFTER loans, grants, scholarships. UofM is not cheap, but it is certainly worth what it costs for in-state. And if Promise is elimianted, wont it be eliminated for Michigan Promise as well? And any aid involves a degree of risk – but I still think a friend would tell the child to listen to his parents thought process.</p>
<p>bbkitty- Your kindhearted family is being used by the friend. She is just copycatting your son in hopes of happiness. The situation is sad because the friend wants what your son has-acceptance and guidance from parents. Many people have successfully found their way through college without the help of their parents. Let the financial roadblock be the bad guy and not your son. She needs the time to figure out a game plan independent of your son and more in tune with her parents’ wants and her needs. Good luck.</p>
<p>Yes, UofM is now $20,500 in state for freshman tuition, room & board and now over $25,000 for in-state juniors and seniors but aid dollars are scarce. If you only get the promise scholarship and a Stafford loan, it can still cost more than $10,000 unfortunately. The Promise scholarship was only $2000 for 2 years but yes, it could also be used at Michigan privates so you are correct.</p>