Look, it’s a great idea to introduce your kids to all sorts of things: music, theater, sports, hiking, crafts, exploring tide pools, you name it. Do it because you want them to have music in their lives, because you want them to feel physically confident, learn how to be part of a team, learn the habit of exercise, because you want them to be at home in nature or develop the habit of curiosity.
But not because you expect it to get them into college.
I often hear things like, “Person A got into MIT because they won this math competition” or “Person B got into Princeton because they started a non-profit.” You should ignore these sorts of statements, they tend to come from people that have no idea what they are talking about. This does include recruited sports, of course.
Here is simple advice as to how you can help lay a foundation so that your 10 year old will have plenty of college options:
Put a college financial plan in place, now. No telling what colleges will cost 8 years from now, but the biggest barrier to attending college for students at all levels is finances. You cannot count on your daughter receiving generous scholarships or financial aid, but you do have control over your savings. If you are fabulously wealthy -- wonderful, you don't have to worry -- but if not, you should have a college savings plan in place, preferably in a tax-sheltered 529 account. If you are upper middle class and own a home, you are going to be utterly amazed at what the government and colleges think you can pay. So this is something you can control, and control right now -- make sure that you won't be that parent who sadly has to tell your daughter that the best colleges which have admitted her are unaffordable.
The single most important thing your daughter can do to qualify for Ivy admission (or anything similar) is to have strong academic credentials. Yes, other things like prowess in a recruitable sport will help, but the requisite academics have to be there. It is also a lot easier for most students to earn A's in school than to become recruitable-quality athletes-- the schools don't want just any bowler (your example) -- they want the regional champion bowler. And if your amazing bowler kid suffers an injury that sidelines her from her chosen sport -- or decides she really, truly wants to attend a college without a bowling team.. then where are you? ALL colleges like students with A's and great test scores -- so support your child academically. Do not pressure her -- that will backfire -- but do let her know that her academic achievements are valued, and provide support when needed in areas of difficulty (such as arranging for tutoring). But again -- don't be that tiger parent who overdoes it-- if your daughter turns out not to be an academic superstar, she will still have college options.
You are right that a "niche" can help with college admissions-- but you have the process backward. You want to encourage and support your daughter to develop and pursue her passions, whatever they are, whenever they arise, and whether or not it looks like something that will help with college. And then when she is in her junior year of college, you work with her to take stock of who she is, what her interests are, what her strengths are -- and then go find a college that fits who she is and what she has to offer. You don't develop -- you match. My daughter attended an almost-Ivy (Barnard, which is tied to Columbia) -- and she definitely got in because of a niche academic interest -- but it isn't something that developed or even anticipated until high school, and even then it was more happenstance than intent. When the time comes you will be able to do online research to find schools that value what your daughter may have to offer ... but that is not something you can plan for in advance. I don't think that my daughter's niche is nearly as valuable for college admissions as it was when she applied a dozen years ago -- for example, her niche also got her into U of Chicago, but I don't think it would have any value whatsoever at Chicago any more and the admissions process there has changed so much that I doubt she would even waste her time applying these days.
Anna Gasser didn’t start snowboarding until she was 17. Today she has a gold medal around her neck. And I bet an Ivy league school would let her in too.
I think that there is a misperception that I am a tiger mom I am not. I’m not even involved in my daughter’s EC selections, I just drive her. Thumper1, she is actually 11 now and I find that in this forum it is easy to jump to conclusions about people and their parenting decisions which is discouraging. I am trying to learn this stuff early because I feel strongly that facts matter and that it takes a village whereby moms and dads play a role as a resource or another voice, I want to be an educated one - for her! When she comes to me asking about community college or about SCAD or Yale, hopefully I’ll have an answer…maybe I’m wasting my time. Of course I want her to learn to be part of a team, develop passions…we make slime, we play Just Dance etc. all of the things that girls her age love…we might Just Dance our way to a local state school which would be fine too because she would be close and I could see her all of the time!!!
@Curious17, like a lot of us, I am delighted to read your post #25.
I hope you understand how starting a post “when daughter is applying to Ivy Leagues”, and looking for a chart of Ivy league schools and their particular sporting preferences, so that you don’t “blow” her chances - and the child in question is 10/11-might give readers the idea that you are being, well, ambitious on her behalf.
In the early 1990’s there was an article in our paper about how golf scholarships for women were going unfilled as there weren’t enough qualified golfers and ‘all they needed was to shoot an 80.’ We all joked about getting our kids (I didn’t even HAVE kids yet) out on the course. As far as I know, none of that group of friends has a daughter on a golf scholarship.
I was a lot more serious about the caddie scholarships that go unclaimed, but my kids weren’t serious enough to get one. Woulda been nice…
@Curious17 I’ll tell you an interesting story about my son that is headed to college next Fall.
At 10-yrs old he was a soccer stud. Our family spent years with him on the club soccer treadmill. It was expensive but we had a great time traveling all over the east coast to watch him play.
He’s a VERY athletic person. His freshman year of high school he decided he wanted to be a 3 sport athlete so he took up a brand new winter sport and a brand new spring sport, neither of which he’d ever participated in before.
He fell in love with the spring sport. He began practicing the spring sport year round on his own, outside any organized or structured league/team.
After his sophomore year he quit the high school soccer team and took up a different fall sport.
By junior year he was the captain of the spring sport.
He also began volunteering for a charity that was associated with that spring sport.
The hours he’s committed to that sport specific charity, and the college essay he wrote about his volunteering, may be the primary reason why his application stands out from others.
We never would have guessed he could be that passionate about this particular sport. Don’t make up your daughter’s mind about anything. Let her find her passion and then encourage her drill deeply into it. Demonstrated passion for a single EC is more impressive than a flyover of several EC’s.
I am not. I’m not even involved in my daughter’s EC selections, I just drive her. Thumper1, she is actually 11 now and I find that in this forum it is easy to jump to conclusions about people and their parenting decisions which is discouraging. I am trying to learn this stuff early because I feel strongly that facts matter and that it takes a village whereby moms and dads play a role as a resource or another voice, I want to be an educated one - for her! When she comes to me asking about community college or about SCAD or Yale, hopefully I’ll have an answer…maybe I’m wasting my time. Of course I want her to learn to be part of a team, develop passions…we make slime, we play Just Dance etc. all of the things that girls her age love…we might Just Dance our way to a local state school which would be fine too because she would be close and I could see her all of the time!!!