Is this a good Intro?? Please help!

Test Preparation ACT Preparation
1

I’m taking the September ACT which is, yeah, today. (Or tomorrow depending on where you are)
I have been practicing with a few formats and I wanted to see if this format might make a good intro.
Would an intro like this considered ok? Does it clearly illustrate my thesis?

The advancement of technology and the increase of intelligent machines have made our lives more comfortable, efficient, and prosperous. For example, everyone carries smartphones which enables them to search for whatever information they require instantly whereas in the past, we had to rifle through heavy textbooks. However, some people believe that the incorporation of intelligent machines in our lives degrade humanity. Others think it would help us ‘evolve’ into better human beings. While both statements are extreme interpretations of our current situation, it is important to evaluate different perspectives in the issue.

2

You do not “state and develop” your own perspective in the thesis. Take a stand, either way, and compare your perspective to the choices.

Use the body paragraphs to “explain the relationship” between your perspective and those given.

Try This:
Where you agree and why

Where you disagree and why

Your score will not be affected by the perspective you take on the issue.

Conculsions
Restate your thesis
Paint a word picture of what would happen if your thesis is not followed.