is this awkward?

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>I'm kind of a shy guy with poor social skils. however, i am trying to improve my social life at the new school i transferred to by joining clubs, talking to people in my classes, etc. </p>

<p>I have 2 roommates, who I'll call roommate#1 and roommate#2 to clarify things. My roommates seem like normal guys but all they seem to do is use their computers and watch tv and study a little. I rarely come back to my apartment without them there (they rarely get out of the room). I dont think theyre in any clubs, sports, extracurriculars. Me and roommate#1 hardly say a word to each other. roommate #1 clearly doenst like me. During the 1st week, when I was talking aobut going to some campus event but decided not to go, he said "why arent you going?" , as if he really wanted me to leave. They also talk to each other briefly, but more often than they do with me</p>

<p>roommate#2 is actually in the same class as me, but he rarely talks to anyone in the class. In that class, I talk to some other studnets who are in other classes with me. usually when we walk to that class from our room together, we hardly say anything. he seems like a nice guy, but I dont know for sure. Also, for that class, I've already seen alot of that material from a corresponding lower-div class, but my roommate did not, so I'm sailing thru while hes struggling. He often asks me for help on the Hw. I usually just tell him the answer or whatever, but I dont want to help him too much. </p>

<p>I know part of the reason for all this awkwardness is because of me, but that may be because I have a negative opinion of them in general as they hardly do anythign besides watching tv and using computers. </p>

<p>as for roommate rules, we hardly say anything to each other. i guess we just use common sense. the good thing about them is that theyre not too loud (they dont play loud music, have parties, invite friends over, etc). heck, when ever we do discuss things, like how to split the bills for groceries, its usually me and roommate#2 who discuss, roommate#1 just says "it doesnt matter". </p>

<p>What counts is that we get along as roommates, but necessarily as friends</p>

<p>sorry for the long post, but I'm really confused here. Am I really awkward, or my roommmates, all of us, or what? what aspects of us are awkward or need to change?</p>

2

<ol>
<li><p>Dorms have Resident Advisors, and part of their job is to talk with you about this stuff!</p></li>
<li><p>you are not helping matters by telling your roommate the answer to the h/w; first of all, that may be his way of wanting to get to know you, secondly, he isn't learning the material</p></li>
<li><p>In all likelihood, they are shy guys with poor social skills, just as you are. Have you invited them to join you at any clubs or activities or a meal out?</p></li>
</ol>

3

<p>i'm a transfer student, so I live in the apartments. I could care less if my roommate learns or not. i guess i could talk to the apartment advisors. they seem like normal guys with normal social skills.</p>

4

<p>Umm...I wouldn't worry about it. Just be grateful that they aren't obnoxious. You don't have to be friends with your roommates. You just have to live somewhat comfortably with them. I have two roommates...I don't consider myself friends with either. None of us bother each other too much, so it's fine.</p>

5

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<p>that could be part of the problem. If you want to get along with them better, maybe you should care a little more.</p>

6

<p>Newton, </p>

<p>You say that you are bothered by the fact that things are somewhat awkward between you and your roommates. If you want to make things less awkward you need to talk/do things with them. Now maybe Roommate #1 is just a lost cause, but #2 at least seems interested in working with you . It doesn't matter if you 'don't care whether he learns or not,' if you want to make friends you have to do considerate things...like help people with homework. Based on the attitude you've displayed toward Roommate #2 in this thread, I could understand if neither one of them wanted to be friends with you.</p>

7

<p>I agree with Roommate2 wanting to be friends with you. You said it yourself, part of the awkwardness is because of you and yet when roommate2 wants to get closer to you, you just shrug him off. Be a little nice to him maybe you'll change your opinions. And yeah, I agree that roommate1 is a lost cause. But still be nice.</p>

8

<p>i appreciate the responses so far</p>

<p>and another thing:
I brought the TV, the utensils and dishes, and some other things. I'm not quite sure what the overall cost of all that is, but The tv is worth about $100. THey watch the tv most of the time, not me. Should I make them owe me back or what? I dont want them to leech off me. But on the other hand, I brought the tv over since its the cheapest one I had at home. also, I figure it wouldnt be appropriate to tell them they owe me since its been over a month into school, and I just thought of the idea now</p>

9

<p>"I brought the TV, the utensils and dishes..."</p>

<p>I wouldn't try to get that money back, even if you did it would only be a few dollars from each of them. You need to try to get along with them the best you can. Asking them to give you money for something you already bought is just going to cause a conflict. Like you said, it would not be appropriate to ask them for money after the fact. If you talked to them ahead of time and you all agreed to pay for the TV it would be different.</p>

<p>Cut your losses, and put all your effort into finding a good roommate for next semester / year. Then all your problems will be solved.</p>

10

<p>be happy that you all get along. It would be nice if you are all good friends, but far less important than just being able to get along decently. There are plenty of horror stories out there about roomates that borrow things and trash them, steal, have loud parties, etc.</p>

<p>To be honest, I think you're creating problems here. For example, the idea of getting them to pay for the TV & utensils. If before school had started you had all talked about it and agreed to chip in $50 or so apiece that would be one thing. But now that school is well underway to decide that because they aren't you're friends you're going to charge them for the stuff you brought is short-sighted and kinda foolish. What do you do at the end of the year? Chop the TV in 3 so everyone gets their share back?</p>

<p>Lastly, don't worry about them and their study habits. They're not your kids.</p>

11

<p>all right I appreciate the advice. </p>

<p>"There are plenty of horror stories out there about roomates that borrow things and trash them, steal, have loud parties, etc."
yea I'm really lucky theyre not like that at all</p>