<p>I've been dating this guy for about 7 months who also happens to be in one of my friendship groups. He is a very unique person and is known amongst the many many friends of his to be one of the most caring, friendliest, wise, and giving person. If you are someone he truly really cares about, he will go above and beyond, to great lengths, to help you. If you are in a bad situation whether relationships, family, any issues, he will step in, take charge, and pick you up. (not literally) Because of this trait, he is also known to be too caring at times, and over the years his closest friends who truly know him have, on several occasions, had to tell him to put himself first and prioritise, because he also has a lot of issues especially regarding family to deal with (basically he has a deep resentment towards his parents since childhood for reasons he feels justified) and sometimes he takes on too much of other people's issues. I feel he has been much better in this regard throughout our relationship. I came in about a year ago, and we were only friends for a couple months before we spontaneously started dating so i didn't really know him that well even though we went to the same high school and had some of the same friends. He is my first serious relationship and i am his. The relationship has been rough for a while because we are so different; he is very clingy and emotionally dependent, and i am fairly indepedent in contrast. I have not been able to 'give' enough of myself in the relationship, according to him, and while that is true to a certain extent, i think it is compounded by the fact that he is very sensitive and dependent. </p>
<p>It was all going alright until he met this girl whom i also met at the same time. It was at a mutual friends party and she has since been incorporated into our hangout group. She is lovely and very nice. They became close very fast, even though they barely saw each othr, but they would IM, text, skype, a lot, everyday. At first it didn't seem any different to other interactions he would have..if he meets someone new who could potentially be a good friend he will talk to them a lot. But i quickly realised that it was different with this girl, and when they first started becoming close around three months ago, a couple friends have expressed that his 'fascination' with this girl is a little weird, albiet in a joking kind of way, and they never thought anymore of it. However, when i first finally witnessed their interaction in real life when we went out with a bunch of friends, they were having tons of fun, laughing, chasing, touching, and it was very obvious that he was flirting with her. The same thing occurred the several times we'd all hang out after that. They are both affectionate people, so it would seem very natural for them, and our friends wouldn't actually blink an eye by what i'd just described, but later he admitted he WAS flirting with her. BUT he did not admit it to me. After seeing their interactions a few times, i confronted him and he COMPLETELY denied it. We ended up having this huge argument one night, where he just kept on denying it and saying he had absolutely NO idea he was flirting, over and over, while i kept saying he DID know. I didn't believe him, but he got so worked up and defensive, and finally i thought, fine, i will give him the benefit of the doubt and take his word that he really didn't know and that it won't happen again. Not only did it happen again, i found out a couple weeks later that he had told her that night before our argument that he was flirting with her! I found out because i was at his house that day on his laptop, and his skype conversation happened to be there and i couldn't help but take a peak. I felt terribly guilty, but it confirmed that he was absolutely aware of what he was doing, and was saying to her "she (me) would've gotten more upset if i flirted more with you, with a (:P wink face)". I couldn't believe it, because of how ferociously he denied it that night. </p>
<p>After that I didn't trust him. They have just gotten closer the past two months, in part because she has been going through a very rough time with a guy she has been kinda seeing. Throughout this time, she has been very vulnerable emotionally as well, even though she is a strong girl, and has thus found comfort in my boyfriend, and knowing who he is, he has jumped on the chance to be there for her. He has met with her one on one to talk to her, advise her, and just be there for her. She has broken down several times and called him in tears.</p>
<p>Now, friends of me know that i am far from the jealous type. I am not, by any means, a easily jealous girlfriend, and he has very close relationships with other girls that i wouldn't blink an eye to and who i think is great because they have a great friendship. The reason why i became concerned with this girl is because i could tell he truly really liked her, and think she's absolutely awesome and they have so much fun together, and have a lot of the same qualities. This issue with this girl has just been in the back of our minds these past two months, and we try not to talk about it because we'd end up in a huge argument. He would say to me he is just helping a really good friend, and he can't bare to see someone like that go through so much pain and therefore he has to go see her in person. And so, a week ago, they finally met up one on one. He does this knowing that i am against him going to see her specifically. I had another conversation with him about it after that, and he'd keep saying that he's just helping a good friend and i had nothing to worry about, and he got pretty worked up over why i'm so concerned. I still didn't believe him. Then, the day after we had this conversation, he lended me his laptop, and i did more sneaking. What i found was absolutely unbelievable and i broke down. Their conversations, over the course of the past week, included things like "i love you in all ways possible", "you're my angel", all coming from him. The main thing, however, that i read was their conversation that night that i saw him and we'd talked about the issue. He had gone home that night, having assured me all night that there is nothing going on, and asked her if she would date him if i wasn't in the picture. She told him gently that she could never really even think about that because he is off limits, and they didn't need to go into it, and the fact that he is even asking her this while i am with him is "kinda dodgy", and that in a way "it's cheating on x" (me). He said he wouldn't cheat, but believes that he has the right to be curious. She said to him, "to everyone else it would be like cheating, and would make you seem like a very mean person, and i don't want to think you're a mean person, because i think you're very nice, and a wonderful friend. If you value her (me), i hope you don't do this too often, even if it's just curiousity, because if she (me) ever finds out, you would come out looking like the crappiest ass****, ok?". Basically she laid out the consequences of his actions, of him even asking that question, in a gentle way. He, of course, told her to keep it confidential. </p>
<p>After reading that entire conversation, i made the decision that i would have to break up with him once i'm done with my exams. I finished my exams today, a week after i read that conversation, and i'm at a loss of how i should handle this. I've told a couple close friends and they all say that that is basically cheating, and you're boyfriend shouldn't be anywhere near that sort of mindset. Even the girl thinks that is cheating. I believe that it is emotional cheating, but even if its not, i have more self respect to stay with someone like this. I feel like this is a delicate situation because we have a lot of mutual friends and i want to handle it properly. I can't break up with him without telling him i had invaded his privacy. Any advice/opinion on how i should handle it would be much appreciated.</p>
its okay …u will find someone better.,.u are the practical kind right?? Not the emotional type…so think practically…get urself out of this and be happy and set him free too</p>
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