OP says her dad won’t tell her what they can pay and gets stressed out when she asks and just tells her not to worry about it.
@aserto009, what state are you in? Did you apply to any state schools? Do you have younger siblings whose education your parents have to plan for?
You’re nearly an adult, and while your parents don’t owe you details about how much they earn or what they’re worth, it’s not unreasonable to expect an honest answer to how much they can afford to pay for college without having to borrow or endanger their retirement.
I’d open up an honest discussion with them. Tell them you’re stressed out and can’t focus on school because you don’t know what’s affordable. Ask if you should take a gap year. That would give your dad time to settle into his new job, let your parents have time to get their finances figured out, and give you time to target schools you’re sure will be affordable. I’d also ask if you need to start at a state school or cc to save money. If they’re reluctant to discuss a gap year or other options, lay out the financial aid packages you’ve received and ask if they can pay for any of them without having to borrow to pay for it.
If I were in your position, I’d be reluctant to move forward without a clear answer to how much they’re willing and able to pay. If they can’t or won’t say, I’d assume it’s $0 and take a gap year to look for schools that are affordable with merit, the ~$5500/year federal student loan, and summer work earnings. At the very least, a gap year will buy them time to wrap their heads around being full pay and will give them time to plan for what seems to be an unexpected expense.