<p>Keep in mind it generally takes at least a semester to "settle in" for most students. Going away to college is a huge change from high school so you guys need to give yourselves some time. Don't make any rash decisions yet. Your feelings are more common than you think.</p>
<p>I am soooo sad to read of this many difficult fits. Would you each mind telling us what your pre-contract visits to campus were like? Did you stay overnite in a dorm and go to classes for a day? Attend any social/sports events? Did you know any current students when you applied? Were comments/recommendations by guidance counselors accurate, fitting to what you see or not? I am very curious about this. I am frequently asked by parents/applicants about my school and I try to be honest so that this doesn't happen but I would like some help from all of you please.</p>
<p>I blame it on personal apathy. I was not aware of the pre-professional/intellectual distinction, and would now choose UChicago over Northwestern without second-thoughts (were I presented with the option, of course).</p>
<p>Edit: I can deal with it, however. The professors and graduate students maintain my sanity, for they are incredible people.</p>
<p>So what you are saying is that the kids at school are more career oriented as in SFS......not talking about intellectual topics? I would have thought that SFS kids would be very concerned with the current events and history of government....I hear you saying it is not like that. Is your department small? Are you in a major which is not preprofessional as it were.....say History or such? Does that contribute to the separation of thought?</p>
<p>As to apathy....if you had no awareness how could you call it apathy? You seem to blame yourself for lack of knowledge.</p>
<p>Hi guys - great string and lots of good advice given so far. Way back when I had a tough first semester but by the end of that semester and for the rest of my time at school I loved it. My issues the first semester are ones I would have had at any school ...
1) I was painfully shy and didn't meet new people well (and didn't like big loud parties)
2) I missed my HS girlfriend, who was also my best friend, tremendously and we were obviously on the way to a breakup
3) I did not drink and was turned off by heavy drinking and drugs
4) I was not interested in the frat scene and rushing a frat
5) I knew 3 people of the 10,000 undergrads when I arrived ... and those 3 were not close friends</p>
<p>Not the greatest combo to start school ... it was tough going at first. For me, things started turning around when I got to know the other folks in my dorm who also were not into drinking and drugs ... these kids tended to be quieter and often were upperclassmen. It took awhile for the shyer folks to find each other and for the upperclassman to accpet some freshman into their established circle of friends (nothing negative about the delay ... I was just more comfortable with older kids and they already had established lives). After a found my like minded dormmates things were great. My suggestion, give it a little more time and don't focus on the kids with whom you do not share interests ... find the other kids who are not into the more visible social stuff ... they might be more likely to be kids with whom you feel more comfortable. (PS - after I found my way at college I made friends that are without a doubt among my best friends ever ... even 25 years later! And it also became clear I made a great choice of a school even though it took me awhile to get comfortable there)</p>
<p>
[quote]
Would you each mind telling us what your pre-contract visits to campus were like? Did you stay overnite in a dorm and go to classes for a day? Attend any social/sports events?
[/quote]
Sure did ... I picked a great school for me and over time that match became apparent. My start up issues were start up issues I would have had at any school ... it just took me a while to meet and make friends ... and seeing other kids get up to speed quicker made me feel worse ... after the rocky start it was clear my visits had lead me to a great school for me.</p>
<p>I visited two or three times (I live instate, so it's doable, haha). I didn't stay in a dorm or attend any social events. I did know about five freshman (now sophomores) that went and they seemed to like it pretty well except for the hard academics. But none of them are exactly "like me" - most of them are sort of more preppy, more outgoing and like to party more. Basically, my GC said it was a fit for me because it had good academics and was within the range of where my parents said I could apply (they basically limited me to within a couple hours of home). </p>
<p>How I ended up here: I applied to seven schools, and at the time when I applied, about four of those, were equal #1s in my head (WF, Duke, Davidson, William and Mary). Yes, those are very different, but I thought I'd be ok at any of those. Well, decision time came, and I got waitlisted at three out of the four, leaving me with Wake. I had Elon, UNC, and U. Richmond too, but Elon (despite a good scholarship) and U. Richmond didn't impress me that much, and UNC, although I love it, is too big for undergrad, IMO. If I could do it all over, without geographic restrictions or anything, I probably would have either applied ED to WM or RD to some more liberal northern LACs...but hindsight is 20/20.</p>
<p>
[Quote]
Hi guys - great string and lots of good advice given so far. Way back when I had a tough first semester but by the end of that semester and for the rest of my time at school I loved it. My issues the first semester are ones I would have had at any school ...
1) I was painfully shy and didn't meet new people well (and didn't like big loud parties)
2) I missed my HS girlfriend, who was also my best friend, tremendously and we were obviously on the way to a breakup
3) I did not drink and was turned off by heavy drinking and drugs
4) I was not interested in the frat scene and rushing a frat
5) I knew 3 people of the 10,000 undergrads when I arrived ... and those 3 were not close friends
[/Quote]
</p>
<p>Ditto for me, except I knew 0 people going in. Towards the end of 1st semester, I really began to enjoy it and undergrad was among the best four years of my life.</p>
<p>That's extremely encouraging, especially since so many people feel apprehensive about their choice right now. </p>
<p>I've really been having guilty thoughts about turning down Wake's full ride for Duke when I wasn't really sure I fit in here, but juba certainly put those thoughts to rest. I definitely would have been unhappy there! :p</p>
<p>heh, I'm starting to feel guilty about turning down a scholarship from CMU cause I think I would've fit in much better there. UVA seems the same as Duke socially, so I don't feel bad about that.</p>
<p>If there are so many people uncomfortable with Duke, I have to wonder why I haven't seemed to have met any. :p</p>
<p>
Would you each mind telling us what your pre-contract visits to campus were like? Did you stay overnite in a dorm and go to classes for a day? Attend any social/sports events? Did you know any current students when you applied?
</p>
<p>No to all. When "college shopping," I really focused on the academic side of things. As a result I do love my classes and I'm excited about taking upper-level courses in my majors and <em>crosses fingers</em> either doing independent research or being a research assistant for a Fuqua professor. Unfortunately the social aspect is pretty much canceling that out.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Would you each mind telling us what your pre-contract visits to campus were like? Did you stay overnite in a dorm and go to classes for a day? Attend any social/sports events?
[/quote]
I'd like to take another crack at this one. I visited my school and one of things that drew me to the school was the feel of the life in the dorms ... the kids were smart and working hard but also goofing around a bunch ... during the night various discussions popped up about school subjects but also on subjects outside of school and about the news of the day ... the kids were pretty low key, diverse, friendly, and dressed casually ... and a lot guys were doing something athletic for fun ... it looked great.</p>
<p>When I started school the dorm life was working it's way to this same outcome but I was not a central player in the dorm life initially because I was so shy. During my visit I hung out with the guys in the dorm ... so I didn't really see the frat or drinking scene (which when I started looked big but I wasn't seeing the rest of the school that was not into this scene). So I just needed some settling time.</p>
<p>Fast forward a few months ... by the time next year's prospective students are coming for visits in March and April one of the places they most likely hang out on 35 Dickson is my room ... if they want a feel of life in dorm for a freshman my room is a great place to hang out ... it has the look and feel of the life that so attracted me. </p>
<p>Give it a little time. You're moving from a home of many years with established friends, hangouts, and customs ... to a new place where you need to find those friends, hang outs, and customs ... it takes time ... but it is a GREAT ride!</p>
<p>For me the comfort level grew over time. When Thanksgiving time came I was pysched to be going home but by the end of the holiday I was really looking forward to going back to college. When Christmas break rolled around I was ready to head home but after a couple weeks I realized I wanted to be home ... home, as in at my school ... school was now the place I now identified with as my home and the central part of my life. Since Christmas break of my freshamn year I have considered home where I am and trip to my parents (even complete summers) as a visit. Freshman year is an amazing year ... for me, the year when I really started to mature and become truly idependent ... and that path is rough sometimes.</p>
<p>um...pppl.....I HATE CORNELL like to the nth degree, social scene sucks. I wish I went to NW or Duke, got into both, but now ur making me doubt Duke.</p>
<p>Banana...you've said it all for me here in UCSD...in fact everyone else has too. </p>
<p>I am pretty depressed, not interested in anything, lost my confidence...just trying to keep up my grades. I'm starting my second year now. I've lost the means to accurately describe or see things now, but it seems to be mostly due to the size, social scene, atmosphere of UCSD. Plus it's like 700mi from home. I wake up everyday, as if the past was a bad dream..but it continues...my mom is the only one paying for me....and I feel so guilty. I think about my past, if this was my fault in high school or things which went wrong in the family and I'm starting to pay. I want to transfer to berkeley, which is 15min from home...at least I can help save ~ $8k and help out my mom at home.</p>
<p>I think I just haven't met the right people yet. Honors dorm at University of Delaware and everyone but my roomate gets drunk.</p>
<p>And I didn't want to go here. I was all set on McGill until I was sending in the "I Accept Admission" thing and parents all of a sudden were like, "No! You can't go there! We changed our mind." They love Delaware...grrrrrr...being forced into a place you don't want to go definitely makes it worse.</p>
<p>I don't know if universities will accept it as one, but I think that your social life is an important factor of your overall university experience, and thus is valid grounds for a transfer.</p>
<p>Many times the people who love, love, love their college in the first several weeks are the ones who feel hemmed in at the end -- they've worked their way through the various aspects of the social scene and then it's same old same old for the rest of their time. The ones who are slow to warm up often peel away the layers gradually and like it the most by the end. Freshmen are strange -- even the ones who seem so socially confident are actually clinging to their acquaintances for fear of appearing unsuccessful. By second semester many of the overindulgent behaviors mentioned on this thread have calmed down, and people feel freer to move outside their initial small circles. Believe me, there are many people on all of your campuses who are kindred spirits, and you will find them. (Some of them are probably pretending to enjoy the scene so they don't appear out-of-sync.) It's just that when everything is new, you see the macro, rather than the micro, perspective. </p>
<p>I wouldn't want to suggest that you are doooooomed to stay where you are miserable, but if you start thinking of transferring too soon, you don't make the necessary investment in where you are. If you transfer, you may have some of the same start-up issues. And knowing many of the campuses you are discussing, you are just as likely to have similar first semesters at them.</p>
<p>I think it would be great if one of you were to start a thread on the "College Life" section of CC about people with rough social beginnings in freshman year. You may hear from current and former students who will let you know that you are not alone. This is a very common situation -- others who have not yet tipped to the transfer section of CC would love to hear from you!</p>
<p>Hey,
The thing about not having a "group" to hang out with... me too! and at Duke! wow this isn't making Duke look good haha I don't think it's unique to Duke though</p>
<p>Dude we should all hang out.</p>
<p>^^^
Group of CC Dukies, lol. :)</p>
<p>After my first tough couple of weeks, I realized I loooooove Duke, and I don't want to be anywhere else. I think the transition from hs to college is hard for some people. :D</p>
<p>"Princeton, Harvard, Yale, MIT, or wherever more academic oriented."</p>
<p>LOL
my sister at princeton is partying HARD...................;)</p>
<p>Haha I ALSO go to Duke and I am a SOPHOMORE and I dont like it that much.... definitely hate the social scene! I have thought about transferring.... I guess I would transfer as a junior then!</p>