<p>Though this is not related to MT and college admissions, I thought that the other parents on this list would find this Wall Street Journal story about FERPA interesting:</p>
<p>My S signed a waiver at the start of his freshman year. I had to talk to the Dean once, but I don't think what we discussed or the WAY we discussed it would have violated his privacy rights. Once he had a small incident involving a party, and someone from the school called here looking for him, I know they were looking for him for diciplinarian action, because he told me later, but the school was VERY carefull to not reveal anything, even though he had signed the waiver. I thought they handled it very well. The Dean told us that they use the waiver primarily if there is a problem with grades.</p>
<p>My D also signed a waiver, but I have only used it to discuss financial matters. I don't know what else it encompasses, but D was glad to do it since she isn't paying the bill and didn't want to be the middle man relaying my questions and their answers back and forth.</p>
<p>Sometimes I think if I hear the term "helicopter parents" one more time, I'll pop a rotor. I will probably sell my house and pretty much put my life on hold so my D won't graduate in crippling debt. If she gets a scholarship, you better believe I expect to know if she is close to losing it. The D of a friend of mine has a lacrosse scholarship and is suffering from an injury that may keep her from playing for a while. The daughter is trying to deal with the trainer and several doctors and trying to balance her health with playing. My friend couldn't get involved at all without her D signing a release, and since the D wanted to play no matter what, she was hesitant to sign the release. She was afraid my friend would do what any parent would do - put her health first. It all worked out, but it was an eye opener.</p>
<p>I have found this whole issue to be a real eye opener! I am pretty darn sure that when I was in college, copies of my grades went straight to my parents' address. I didn't question it a whit! They were/are my parents, and they were paying my tuition. I am glad to know about this now, before my D heads off to college. I am not so concerned about needing to see her grades, but I don't like the idea that she could be sick or injured or otherwise imperiled and no one is obligated to call me. On other threads, I have read that parents say that they count on their kids' roommates and friends to notify parents if, for instance, a student is hurt or taken to the hospital. Doesn't sound right to me.</p>
<p>It is an eye opener! The last time my d went to the dr. there were some billing errors that resulted in payment denial by our insurance company. What a pain! Our d is 18 so the insurance company will ONLY discuss the billing issues with her. She is an articulate girl, but has no clue about medical billing and insurance claims. We finally resorted to communicating with insurance company in writing only, with my husband and I writing the letters, sending the letters to my daughter at college for signature and having her send the letter to the insurance agency. What a pain!</p>
<p>I've usually found that if you need to talk to someone regarding billing, health, housing, etc., just get that department's representative to call the student and ask their permission to speak with you.</p>
<p>I will also forewarn you NMR, that this will also apply to any legal contracts they have with anyone (medical insurance as NOLAMOM pointed out) and financial institutions (banks, mutual funds, etc.) where your name is not also on the account. You spend 18 years putting money away in accounts for their college, then when you try to access it after they turn 18, you're told they can't speak to you, the student needs to call in and redeem the shares. Well, I don't know about your kids, but mine not only know nothing about medical billings/payments (after all, they send the bills to the parent's house, so why would they know?), but they didn't even know we had some of these college savings accounts. All of a sudden I'm asking them to call some company and ask to redeem shares. Basically, I've learned to time any necessary phone calls to these places when I'm in the room with them (parent's weekend, breaks, etc.), so my kid gives the person permission to speak with me, then I handle it from there. </p>
<p>My kids understand that if they get into any kind of legal trouble, it's their responsibililty to take care of. I don't want calls from anyone unless my kid is sick and needs my help. If they screw up and lose their scholarships, then they will need to find a way to make up the difference - I'm not going to pay for their screw ups. We gift them with four years of a college education, but also with the responsibility of figuring out how to make the best of it. </p>
<p>My H graduated with debt, from both undergrad and grad school; his parents had more than enough means to pay for his college and expenses, and offered him next to nothing. Yea, it sucked for a while, but we managed, learned to persevere and are fine now.</p>
<p>Teriwtt, your approach is a very sane one and I am glad you chimed in. I agree about the scholarship issue and kids taking responsibility. That's why I said I don't fret about the notion of not seeing my D's grades in college, unless she wants to share them. But I <em>do</em> become alarmed when I read on other threads about incidents where kids get sick or in car accidents and are taken to the hospital in the city where they are going to school and the school doesn't call the parents. I certainly don't need to know if my daughter goes to student health with a sore throat, but if she is whisked somewhere in an ambulance (God forbid!), I would like a phone call.</p>
<p>I guess what I have to wonder is, what responsibility does the school have to communicate with you about something they may not know about? If my kid is in a car accident (which then means she would most likely be off campus), how is the campus supposed to know about it? Can we be guaranteed that city/village officials automatically notify a campus if a student is taken to the hospital by that city/village's ambulance? Chances are, if the student is with friends, those friends are going to think to call the parents before calling the college campus. I'm pretty sure that's what my kids would do if they were with a friend who was hurt or sick... call the parents first (they can get very creative trying to locate a parent contact number). I just think it's highly unlikely that a student would either get that sick or in an accident where only someone from the school is in the know, and would be the first person to call a parent. After spending some time working in health care, it is my observation is that when it's a true emergency, the hospital is going to call you, not the school first, and ask the school to notify you. Of course, D1 called me two weeks ago about her first bee sting; D2 may have a severe asthmatic attack, get treated and never tell me (difference in personalities). But I have true faith that if either one ended up in the hospital for something that wasn't a quick treat and release, whoever is first on the scene (the ambulance or a friend, most likely), will make sure the parents are notified. I don't think schools sit around and try to figure out how not to call a parent if a kid is having a true medical emergency in a hospital. This just seems to be the perception I'm getting from the stories I hear from my kids.</p>
<p>It's a very gray area; if your kid passes out due to heat exhaustion and is taken to a hospital, treated and released, do you want the school to call you? They might not even find out about it if it happened off campus. If your kid gets really sick on the weekend with strep when the student health center is closed, and the ER is the only option, do you want the school to call you? If they don't, then they're accused of not communicating to parents information they want to know. Do they make a decision to call parents based on how long a kid's hospital stay is predicted (several hours vs. overnight). I can think of sooo many different scenarios that frankly, I'd hate to be a college administrator with this responsibility. And again, once a student is admitted to a hospital with a serious condition, I think the hospital is going to contact you. After all, I'd rather be communicating with the medical staff at a hospital than through a third-party college administrator.</p>
<p>Now, this doesn't take into account times a student ends up in the hospital due to stupidity or any illegal activity or due to some behavior the student knows their parents wouldn't approve of (birth control complications, abortion complications, etc.). I think as long as the student is conscious enough to make a request that their parents not be notified, their wishes should be honored (however, I'm sure the medical staff will highly encourage the student to contact some family member). If the student's situation deteriorates and they cannot speak for themselves, you bet the hospital will have staff trying to reach family members.</p>
<p>Regarding the grades, I think our kids don't care about our seeing their grades because they know it's not tied into any consequence from us. </p>
<p>And while I often read parents don't want to know about every little sore throat, I am reminded of D1's severe sore throat at the end of her freshman year, which ended up being mono. While I didn't need them to call me for a sore throat, you bet I got on the phone with them late one night (with her permission) when she was getting worse and they kept insisting she didn't have mono and wouldn't test her, when she had a known exposure from more than one girl in her sorority house, and had all the classic symptoms. Due to their stubbornness, she wasn't tested, did have mono, and because she didn't follow proper post-mono precautions, developed a severe relapse within two days of finals being over; at least she was at home then and saw our own doctor. But several months earlier, she was out one night at a frat party with friends, was walking home drunk with a group of friends, jumped up and down when someone told her something funny, landed on her foot wrong, and broke it. Of course, she was way to embarassed to call us that night (I think the alcohol helped to minimize the initial pain), but she did call us the next day, and after she'd been to the health center, called to let us know it was broken. They were superbly professional for that incident... they helped her figure out which orthopedic doctor in their town was in D's medical network, and provided transportation to and from the orthopedic's office, as well as to and from her dorm and classes for a few days, until she could walk on a walking cast. I never needed to talk to them. So you just never know, and can never prepare for every incident.</p>
<p>Just an FYI- the FERPA waiver must be signed even if the student is under 18, at least at the University where I work. I had the joy of sitting through 4 freshman orientations this summer and heard this discussed multiple times, and at UC (where some of your kids may end up at CCM) once the student enrolls in college, regardless of age, they are responsible for their records/bills/information.</p>
<p>Because of FERPA laws it is extra important to do all you can to talk with you kids about these issues and figure out how your family is comfortable communicating about these things. Also, try to meet your kids close friends at college. Of course, you do that. But, it is important for kids to understand that they are not tattling on a friend if they contact his/her parents because they are concerned about a serious issue. I have heard of situations where faculty (and peers) are concerned about a student's suspected eating disorder, but the faculty members hands are tied and they cannot communicate with the parents. It is often the concerned friends who call the parents to let them know about the problem. As faculty we can talk directly to the student, but are legally prohibited from calling parents about things.</p>
<p>I also have heard of a story (at a university other than the one where I work) where the parent of a "student" called the dean's office livid because her child had been in college for six years and still was not going to graduate. She was very mad at the college for changing the requirements, and keeping said child in school of so long. The dean looked up the record and saw that the student had not been enrolled for the prior three semesters. Apparently, this "student" had been registering for classes in the previous term, the parent had been paying the tuition bill, then the student was dropping all of the classes before the full refund deadline. A tuition refund check was sent to the student directly, and this student was living on the tuition money but not attending class. The dean could not tell the parent this, because it was against FERPA. All the dean could say was "I suggest that you talk to your child and ask to see a copy of their college transcript." OUCH!!!</p>
<p>As to the medical information issue, once a kid hits 18, the terms of the Health Insurance Portability and Privacy Act apply. In a nutshell, no medical provider or insurance company can discuss with a parent "Protected Health Information" pertaining to the student. PHI includes not only medical info but info on eligibility for benefits and premium payments. The best way around this is to have your kid execute a HIPPA privacy waiver. All medical providers and insurance companies have them or you can get one off of the US Department of Health and Human Services website. On an ad hoc basis, if your kid is at a provider's office, the provider must also accept a verbal waiver on a case specific basis.</p>
<p>I think I'll just have my phone number tatooed on my D's forehead with some fine print - "If you see me drinking, doing anything illegal or not studying enough, please call this number - and if you're close enough to read this, please back off."</p>
<p>cartera45 -- :) I think you may be onto something... I would patent the idea... although because it is written word would you actually have to have it copywrited?</p>
<p>We could call it "Identi-Kid." :)</p>