Issues

Parents Forum
1

<p>I am a very talented student, and can probably get into many lovely schools, but even though my parents "say" that I can go wherever I want I can't help feeling that if I don't end up at an Ivy or something like it (though I am looking at a few too)- that I'll be a failure because I did what I wanted to do, not what society wanted me to do. I'm not trying to be a rebellious teenager, but the more I think about it, the more I think that if I do go to St. john's Annapolis or some other no name college instead of Cornell (which ironically, these are the two main schools I am looking at at this time), they'll give me the "well- if you want to . . .I'm not saying anything but you should go somewhere else" look. I really want to make my parents proud(like really), but with this friend of our family coming over and talking about the joys of HYP, and the "doors that open to you", I bet if I mention where I REALLY in my heart want to go he'll think I'm an idiot. I talk to my parents, but I can't help thinking that they are pushing me without meaning to. They aren't stupid, but neither finished college and both went to local colleges (this was a long time ago when that wasn't a bad thing). I'm the first and oldest. I wish they knew that when I say there are other good schools, they believe me. </p>

<p>I'm so confused. I want to follow my heart- but I never thought it would be so difficult. </p>

<p>Some info- I am going to be a junior. Someday I would like to earn my doctorate. I don't understand why I can't go to a small Liberal Arts college for undergrad and enter the Ivy rat race after. I just want to learn and have fun for four years- if that means at Cornell- great! But if I go somewhere else. . . i dont' want to be looked at as the family failure. I bet I would do great no matter where I went(sorry- not trying to be egotistical, just making a point)</p>

<p>I'm sorry this is so ranty and long. . .</p>

<p>Love,
Katia</p>

2

<p>If you want a doctorate, the best place to go to is a LAC. For instance, the majority of people at Harvard go on to law, medicine and business schools, they don't go on to get their doctorates. LACs, however, are known for producing students who eventually get their doctorates. This includes many LACs that aren't that well known to the general public, but are extremely well known to graduate schools, including top ones.</p>

<p>You can get info on what happens to students after graduation by either checking the web sites of colleges' career placement offices or by e-mailing those offices.</p>

3

<p>If you love St John's, consider as well U of C and Columbia. But St. John's is a great school. Work on your parents; they'll come around.</p>

4

<p>Katia:</p>

<p>(1) St. John's isn't a no-name college.</p>

<p>(2) You know what you want, you have thought about it a lot, and you express it quite well. Keep using those skills to educate your parents, and they will be proudly behind you when the time comes.</p>

5

<p>Go where YOU want to go. This is not about making your parents proud, it's about choosing where you want to start the process of independant living and learning. And you're not a "failure" if you don't get into a particular school or even typre of school. College is not a final destination--it's a road there. </p>

<p>You can do great wherever you wind up, be it Cornell, a small LAC, or a big state university. Plenty of success stories from all types.</p>

<p>If your parents aren't listening, maybe a college counselor at your school could help convince them that where you want to go is right for you. Good luck.</p>