<p>VAparentoffour – I agree with Oregon101. Right now, she wants to be a nurse, but she could get to college, take a class with a professor in a completely different area, fall in love with that subject and pursue it as her career choice. As for safety, that has always been my question whenever we visited schools – will he/she be safe? If I am not comfortable with the neighborhood, I do not hold back my feelings, no matter how great a school will be.</p>
<p>vaparent–I think your idea is brilliant. I didn’t think of it at first. I’ll bet she’d love that and be very enriched by it as a person.</p>
<p>Okay, I have to tell my daughter’s story here. She was a B/C student, average to below average SATs, hated HS. I made her do everything she needed to do to prepare for college despite her hating school. One day I overheard her talking to a friend of ours on the phone who was in the Air Force and he asked her why she was planning to go to college and she said “If you don’t think I’m going to college, you don’t know my mom very well.” (I did a little mental high five to myself for that remark, lol.)</p>
<p>During HS she realized she had a talent for and loved art. She worked in commercial art for three summers and learned a lot, so despite her academic trials and tribulations, I took her to visit art schools. I remember one Open House where the admissions director told the prospective students “You know your parents are shuddering at just the thought of ‘art school,’ right?” </p>
<p>She applied to that school and we were awaiting their decision when another art school gave a presentation to her AP Studio Art class. They are a college with rolling admissions so we immediately sent her SATs and transcript and application in, along with the portfolio she created in AP Studio. Two weeks later, she was accepted and earned a scholarship for her art portfolio that pays about 50% of her college costs. The school is small and beautiful and she loves it. Two weeks after starting college, she told me she had found her career path…she now wants to go to graduate school and have a career in art therapy…lol a short four months earlier I wasn’t sure she would graduate on time because she was failing senior English.</p>
<p>So it does all work out in the end 
(Sorry for the long post, but I too believe there is a good match for every student, we have an abundance of colleges and while they are not all Ivies, they are great places for kids to learn what it’s like to be on their own and get a great education.)</p>
<p>These are beautiful stories and just what we parents of the HS graduating class need to hear, right now!</p>
<p>GREAT thread.<br>
To the nursing student parent, I say go with the safe, happy biology school.</p>
<p>To the art student parent; awesome story.</p>
<p>I read these stories and hope that we’ll have the same good ending that so many of you have had. D is in a total funk. She didn’t get into her “dream school” and now the other six schools to which she was accepted simply Will. Not. Do. Actually, one of them would “possibly” suffice but she didn’t get enough FA (which I told her was a prerequisite before she ever applied there). She’s on the waitlist at one school that hasn’t accepted anyone off the list in more than two years and she still persists in believing that said school not only will take her but give her a scholarship in the bargain. My H and I know that, deep down, the problem is that she’s scared to death of going to college, period. She’s afraid that she won’t fit in anywhere. She’s afraid that she can’t do the work. We offered her a gap year but she said that she couldn’t stand the idea of being here while all her friends were off at school. Retaking the SATs/ACT and applying again in the fall won’t help, either - she has never been a good standardized test taker and she knows that it still won’t get her into the dream school. I wish I knew what to do to make it better for her.</p>
<p>tranquil - Sorry for your situation. Standard advice is to attend a “non-dream” school for a year, do well, and transfer to the dream school next year. I know, I know, your D’s not listening to advice like that right now.</p>
<p>It is important to take advantage of any situation. If kid did not get into “dream” school, than he most certainly will be a star student at his “second choice” place instead of being just another face. Being the one at the top opens a lot of doors to a lot of opportunites that are not there for the rest of student body. Do not miss them! At the end it might create much more favorable situation than the one in “dream” school. From experience.</p>
<p>My youngest applied to her “dream school”, 500 miles away in NC. She was deferred then waitlisted. it was agonizing. They never even sent her a rejection letter. she applied to 5 other schools to major in Nursing. And got into all of them. No Nursing at the dream school!<br>
She picked her #2 school in April and also changed her major to Med Tech. She hated the #2 school the entire first semester. cried on the phone. wanted to transfer etc.
She did very well grade wise, a top student in her program, found a group of friends, got her roommate to move out and has been having a blast 2nd semester.
She still has “feelings” for the dream school - which just started a med tech major this year. I asked her if she was going to apply to transfer. She just shrugged and said - they didn’t want me the first time around, their loss.</p>
<p>I’m going to be the damper on this uplifting thread. Sometimes things do not work out. Some kids just don’t take to college. It can even be their dream schools. It just does not work out at times.</p>
<p>^
true that. sometimes it doesn’t work at 18 but works at 20 or 22. or whenever.</p>
<p>Try in their 30’s. That’s what my shrink is telling me.</p>
<p>My D was accepted at 8 terrific schools, and she really couldn’t decide which to attend. She picked a smallish LAC, although she agonized over the decision until the bitter end (and second guessed herself all summer). She had a rough time socially the first semester, but found her niche second semester. Unfortunately, the academics just weren’t the right fit for her. She transferred to a midsize school she had previously declined. This school provides the right challenge in the classroom … but the social side is not as good a fit for her. She feels a bit lonely, and this has been stressful. She is glad she transferred, but she feels out of place in many ways. There just doesn’t seem to be a “perfect fit” for her, but she is managing.</p>
<p>kelsmom- You’ve been very helpful before - hate to hear your daughter is not as happy at Vandy as she would have hoped. We always thought our daughter would end up there and she was admitted with about $27K in aid (which they called Vanderbilt University Endowment?) anyway, they said she would not lose it and it was an effort, despite not being ‘merit’ money to attract her to Vandy. Unfortunately, the pull of free tuition at UGA and their Honors program is apparently winning her over (doesn’t help that BF was waitlisted @ Vandy). We offered to split the balance - which would leave her about $12/yr in loans - are we being unreasonable? Husband thinks kids should have a vested interested. And no, our portion will be quite a struggle, we’re not being mean. What do you think. Also got about the same $$ at Wake and Duke, Furman and, full tuition @ W&L
Are we being crazy not to foot the entire bill to attend Vanderbilt? Thanks!</p>
<p>Would your D choose Vandy over UGA if money was not an issue? If she would still be tempted to choose UGA, that may be what is best for her. I really think kids need to make the decision themselves … it is so much easier for them to deal with issues that may arise if they don’t have a parent to blame things on! </p>
<p>My D went in knowing the social thing would be a bit of a challenge, so she is dealing with it okay. She will find her niche; it’s just taking longer than she’d like. She is shy. She also dislikes being in places where drinking is the focal point … sort of hard to avoid those situations.</p>
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<p>Thanks for the free advice. Saved me a visit.</p>
<p>No, I’m sure if Vandy had given her full tuition, she would be there - despite the BF (I think?) But yea, it definitely is her choice - been down that road before. The drinking/frat/sor. scene turned my daughter from W & L. and I wondered if the greek/drinking scene @ Vandy would have been a good fit after all. I actually like that UGA will be a more diverse (economically speaking) student body.</p>
<p>There are some kids who are not cut out for school for a variety of reasons. My son was one of those. He did go to college (two of them, in fact), and managed all right, but now that he is out and working, he is much much happier. He has always been self directed and just couldn’t get motivated by his teachers. Although now, he is seeking out mentors on his own and gets all excited by what he is learning from them. So, it turns out that he does like to learn, but not in a structured (by others) environment. Who would’ve thought?</p>
<p>It all works out if you take everything as a learning experience and not a “failure”. S1 reluctantly went to a great LAC, complained all four years, but is now graduating a better and more interesting person. He says, “I’m not an academic person.” And I have to agree with him. However, he has a couple of talents that will work well for him in the “real world” and that LAC really helped him develop them.</p>
<p>Back when my daughter was a struggling middle school student, I had an older friend who told me not to worry too much. Her daughter graduated high school with bad grades, didn’t go to college. She later decided in her late 20’s to try college for a better career, started in community college, finished at William and Mary, ended up going to medical school and by her mid-30’s was a doctor.</p>
<p>Yes, college is not for everyone and it’s not for everyone right out of high school. But “It will all work out in the end” is a great comment for everyone, because we are not defined by our education we are only refined by it. </p>
<p>BTW, have I mentioned that I know a wonderful, successful man who is top professional in his field who never went to college? His dad was a high school vice principal who was sorely disappointed that his eldest didn’t go to college. His dad is overwhelmingly proud of him now, and yeah, he’s in his 30s. I’m married to him.</p>