<p>I am a freshman in college and when I got here for orientation I immediately met a whole bunch of people who clicked with me. But they all live on another end of campus, and so I rarely see them anymore. </p>
<p>For welcome week and the first few weeks of school, I hung out with a group that formed in my floor, and it was all good until they started to exclude me, because they basically found me annoying. I didn't join any groups or clubs, and haven't made any friends in my classes either.</p>
<p>So now, I don't have any friends who call me or come into my room to say hi, and don't have anyone to eat with for all of my meals. What should I do? This is making me really depressed and is the only thing on my mind these days...</p>
<p>I have heard people say that all of freshman year is for making new friends and finding your “group”. But everywhere around me, I see people with their same friends all the time, and they are usually people that they have been friends with since the first week. So what’s with that? Do these groups change over time? Or are most of your friends in college gonna be the people that you befriended in your first week here?</p>
<p>I’m having the same problem, but I’m a Junior in college so it’s way worse. I transferred here last semester from Architecture school, where I had plenty of friends, because I was there since freshmen year and it was a small, friendly environment.</p>
<p>My new college is huge, urban, and has no campus culture or community feel. I meet so many people that I literally never see again. I live far off-campus so I don’t have the opportunity to meet people in dorms. My classes are huge lecture types. I feel like everyone made friends Freshmen year and they’re not looking for more; even if they’re friendly, it’s like you’ll never be part of their real group of friends, I feel like that Transfer student that ends up at parties not knowing anyone. I did make 2 friends here last semester, but no more.</p>
<p>Since you’re a Freshmen and live in a dorm it shouldn’t be too hard. I think you should just be extra-outgoing for the time, because the more people you meet, the better the chance is you’ll click with someone. Also think about joining an intramural sport (I would if I had time) if you’re into that.</p>
<p>I joined a sorority and met lots of people, including one girl who I pretty much do everything with now. Usually I party/go out with her floor, since she lives in a different dorm. When school started, I hung out with my roommate and my floor, but I really dislike her best friend (who unfortunately practically lives in my room) and she doesn’t like me either. I wouldn’t say I have an enormous social circle, but I have a close friend as well as many more distant friends, so I’m happy, as I know it will only get better.</p>
<p>Maybe try to address what your floormates found annoying. If it is something you didn’t notice you were doing and isn’t something you mind changing that might help. The only people we intentionally tried to exclude from our group, were people who were extremely socially awkward (and some who were creepy to the point of stalking some of the girls in our group).</p>
<p>So maybe figure that out, start hanging out in the common room / lounge, and they might accept you into your group. </p>
<p>I’m extremely glad that I have a great group of people, and it is great to be able to do anything with a lot of different people at almost any time, so I would highly recommend you trying to find a group.</p>
<p>If for some reason you don’t like this group that excluded you, then you could probably start looking for another group. Perhaps the classes you are taking now are good for making friends (i.e. not prone to develop study groups, or whatever), but you still have a chance next year to make friends during classes.</p>
<p>Clubs are great. It’s always good to have more than one “group” of friends so definitely just join some interesting clubs and stay active. It’s still early in the year.
I’ve made friends through my floor, my roommate, my classes, and a few clubs. All different kids so now when I walk around the campus, which is huge, I always see someone I know. I was definitely not a socialite in high school but in college you really do just gotta break out and try new stuff.
Join clubs, they’re your best bet.</p>
<p>Vanagandr, I always wonder why you choose to post (almost the same thing in every thread) in the threads about people not doing well socially. We KNOW you hate people and think college should be the cheapest thing possible. We KNOW you think that friends don’t matter and nothing matters except the diploma. But - guess what - we don’t think that! Some of us actually LIKE people and some of us want to actually have friends during the four years we’ll be in college. Some of us don’t mind paying a bit extra for the experience college provides, even if you think that experience is worthless. Some of us actually like it! Your misanthropic worldview might work really well for you, but surely you know the vast majority of people do actually seek positive social relationships. I’m just confused as to why you would want to post in the threads which are clearly about people who do not and will never share your views. You won’t be of help to them, so what’s the point?</p>
<p>Friends will come and go. You’re in college to get good grades and make bank when you’re done. If you make friends and the relationship materializes, then it materializes. If not, then who cares. Get your priorities straight. You’re in college to learn and get good grades.</p>
<p>For example, I didn’t even think about getting a girlfriend, but one day I suddenly hit it off with this one girl in class, and suddenly, she came my girlfriend for a long period of time (not anymore though). It was like she just felt right onto my lap. The point is that you need to get your priorities straight, and everything else like – friends, job opportunities, and parties – will fall into place.</p>
<p>RoxSox - I see it as my calling to help people get their heads out of their butts so they can do something besides amateur proctology. Note that I advised OP to do stop one thing only: stop whining. I did not tell him to retreat into his dorm room and do nothing but attend class for the next few years, as you seem to have interpreted; that is not something I do either. If he focuses on the studies, the rest will take care of itself. As onhcetum said, this is a matter of priorities.</p>
<p>What goes on in that cavernous space between your ears is not my business, so keep it to yourself if addressing me. Methinks your frivolous tongue flaps too often, as is expected from a liberal arts major.</p>
<p>Well, now I simply feel sorry for you. Whatever happened to your poor ego, that you feel a “calling to help people get their heads out of their butts?” I am legitimately sorry that you feel a need to act so superior to everyone (on freaking CC of all places), as well as personally attack me. That’s mature.</p>
<p>Also - yes, I’m a psychology major, but I’m pre-med, and I’m also double-majoring in food science and engineering, so I’d keep your assumptions to yourself.</p>
<p>My allegations are proven, what serendipity! If someone asks for my advice as OP did, I give it, and if it is not advisable, it is reasonable to explain why. As you did not do that and instead initiated a personal attack, I shall ridicule you like the polyp-finding* pinhead you are.</p>
<p>Vanagandr, are you seriously flaming him? Your comments are both unhelpful and unneeded. And I don’t know if you’re just trying to sound smart or what, but your wording is awkward at best.</p>