I found that my kids had a hard time writing about themselves, so a conversation with me before writing helped them see aspects of themselves they might not have. Or might not have thought they were worth writing about.
Once they wrote their essays, it was pretty much between them and their college counselor.
I wanted to add that a lot of this depends on the talent of the HS guidance counselor.
When DS went through this process, his GC was, as I like to say, better suited at being a shoulder to cry on, for the high school kids who were having problems with their friends’ breakup. DD had a great experienced guidance counselor who understood how to help kids navigate the college acceptance process. OP, does your GC have a good track record of helping kids get accepted into the schools they want? If so, then certainly trust them as they may know more than your parents.
I am concerned that the OP describes his parents as “screaming” to take out the frazzy stuff. If your parents have not been through this process lately (I am guessing you don’t have any older siblings), then the process is very different than when they applied to school. Adcoms at top colleges have barely a few minutes to skim an essay and make their recommendation to accept/reject. The ones that don’t read as genuinely written by a 17-18 year old - the ones that don’t feel right, or are too polished etc., are more likely to be rejected.
If being an experimenter is who you are, then you have to show the school that. Showing you are a developer is fine, too if that is who you are. You don’t have to be one or the other exclusively at your age. If, like a lot of kids your age, you’re still figuring out your way as you know you have a lot left to learn, you can show that as well. Adcom officers are trained to spot a phony.
I encourage you, to thank your parents for their insight and tell them you appreciate their concern, and that you will certainly consider their perspective. And tell them that because they raised you to be able to make decisions based on getting the best information possible, you’re going to do just that. Then tell them that you want to make them proud of you, and their screaming at you is beginning to hurt your confidence, as this is already a stressful enough process. Then thank them for treating you with the respect that you are hoping to show you are worthy of.
Or, just forward them an email with a link to this thread. They have been so protective of you for your whole life, it can be hard for them to see you taking chances that they may see as not completely reflective of them. But they are undoubtedly proud of you, and perhaps a little anxious as well. Thanking them for preparing you on this journey, as you all learn together, can be a huge step in them treating you more independently - which is of course the real goal.
Best of luck to you.
@ProfessorPlum168 I think she may have been oversimplifying the 20-30 second thing. Maybe to get a message across to your child. Granted, some UCs have an awful load of apps. And once a reader is badly turned off, it’s hard to find something to overcome that. But I’d put it: at that point, skimming is an art. They want to be fair, at least in process.
I think parents as helpful as we try to be, have to be extra careful that we don’t muffle the voice of our kids in their essays. Sometimes we think the kid version at home is the same as the soon to be an adult version the rest of the world gets.
This case sounds like it may be best to have a trusted teacher and counselor offer the constructive criticism so you can preserve your sanity and relationship and maybe when you are happy with the finished product, you can read it out loud to your parents. Stay positive and best of luck to you!
Update: Hi, thanks to everyone for the advice! I decided to take both opinions into account and work on a middle-ground essay; I’m pretty glad with the outcome too. Of course, I’m applying for my dream schools (which are very competitive) so I’m nervous too, but I’ll be happy with my application right now.
I think most parents view it as an application for a professional career or position.
It’s more like applying to a rock band. After auditions they know you all can play a mean guitar. But are you interesting, fun and kind and creative enough to want to spend the next four years living together on a bus.
They aren’t going to care how long you practiced or how hard you practiced. You’re obviously qualified at that point. They would want to know about you.
Of course use spell check and proofread too. Lol.
To be honest. Perhaps an essay about this process and battle. Conformity versus expression. How finding your voice while expressing it within this little battle would be an interesting essay.
As a little extra insight, here are my thoughts (as a Humanities professor) on what should go into a well-written college application essay:
The point of a personal essay is to build a connection with the college admissions officers reading your work. Your objective is to provide an honest personal statement about who you are.
Describe what makes you unique: Do you like slam poetry? Do you love live-streaming video games? Are horses your passion? Explain how your interest fundamentally shapes your identity. What character trait is strengthened? How could this trait help you in your chosen course of study? Make sure this essay introduces you as an individual who has interests, strengths, and weaknesses you can use to leverage the programs (here’s where you can customize the prompt) you are applying for.
Good luck with the essay and balancing the parent input!
I didn’t see my daughter’s essay until it was already submitted. Her essay is about toy plushies she learned to make from Youtube. Not one word about high school, or how hard she worked. Her essay was funny, witty, and light hearted. Those “worked hard” essays are cliche. AOs see those alot, and you will not stand out if you have the same type of essay.
The OP posted this in October. Since most applications have been submitted, I don’t think s/he is looking for new feedback.
yeah right but cool plush slippers also really cool hahhaha!