Do we have any parents here who did go to Ivy schools and they regret wasting money and think that they would pick affordable alternative if they have to make this decision again? Do you encourage your kids to try for top privates schools or top in state publics, assuming you make enough to be able to fund it and don’t qualify for financial aid as decision making is very diffrent with someone else’s money.
Not Ivy. But our kids went to expensive private universities which we funded. No regrets.
My husband spent one year…and a semester at an Ivy…and hated it. Just hated it. These schools aren’t for everyone.
We encouraged our kids to look for schools that met their criteria for college. Each made. List of the things they wanted out of a college. “College name recognition” was not a criteria for either of them.
ETA…we love our kids just as much,mand are just as proud of them…even though neither attended an elite college.
Oh…and neither of us did either, and we are very proud of the adults we have become.
I went 2 elite schools (1 Ivy). I loved my time there and don’t regret attending either of them, though I probably would have chosen a different elite school for one if I could choose again. But none of the elite schools are a good fit for D. If nothing else, my educational experiences have taught me that fit is the most important factor, not a school’s ranking.
I also don’t think any school is worth $70k/yr out of pocket.
@WorryHurry411 am I correct in saying that cost really isn’t a factor for your kid since you have the money for the elites?
And is this saga about your kid?
I went to Yale (Class of 82). My D is there now (Class of 18). So it is obvious what my answer is. Could my D have been somewhere else on a free ride? Probably. But I feel it is worth it. My D is loving Yale and is thriving (and by the way doing so much better than I ever did there because I was able to provide her a much better education). It’s just like a person buying a Jaguar versus a Honda. Both will get you to the same place but I personally don’t think the Jaguar is worth the extra money.
I have the same opportunities and am in the same place in my life as my friends who went to HBCUs and other non-Ivy schools, so it was not a magic bullet. But I would not trade my experience for anything.
You recognize that you and your friends who did NOT go to elite schools are in a great good place.
This OP still (20 years or so later) still has regrets about his undergrad college because it was not the exoensive elite.
I just can’t imagine looking at my past that way…it’s done. Look at what you have accomplished, what you have done…and what you will continue to do.
Having your kid go to an expensive elite school will never change the fact that the parent didn’t. Time to forget about the past.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
Let’s all work on the assumption that this is the question the OP has, and answer accordingly.
thanks @skieurope
Graduated from Harvard - sometimes I regret that I didn’t make better use of my time there, but hindsight is 20-20. There have also been times when I wonder if I shouldn’t have just gone to art school or done something like the RISD Brown program. (Did it exist back then?)
From my high school class I’d say one of the people whose work I admire most went to Smith, though what she does for a living is related to a high school internship.
Ivy graduate with no regrets whatsoever. We encouraged our kids to attend the schools that were best for them – one went to an excellent Jesuit college and the other to a great LAC. IMO it is not “Ivy” that it is important but it is about finding the right (and affordable) match between student and college.
How do you know if it’s a good fit? Affordable schools can be a bad fit too. Short of visiting every school at least twice, it’s hard to predict.
We’ll surely if it’s an Ivy it will be a good fit…NOT 
I didn’t go to an Ivy but I did go to a top 50 LAC which was extremely unusual for kids from my area. I enjoyed my time there and I don’t regret it. But since I ended up retuning to my home state, my career would benefit more from having gone to my state flagship. I get zero in terms of connections from my alma mater.
I’ll add that my family’s income was pretty low so I received generous aid and my parents paid only about 10% of the cost.
“How do you know if it’s a good fit? Affordable schools can be a bad fit too. Short of visiting every school at least twice, it’s hard to predict.”
Life is unpredictable. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut.
“How do you know if it’s a good fit? Affordable schools can be a bad fit too. Short of visiting every school at least twice, it’s hard to predict.”
Does your son have specific strong preferences for urban vs rural, active sporting life, Greek life or not, etc? Some students have very strong preferences. Others don’t.
Your son’s list has both urban and rural, some places with sporting life and others without, some places with Greek life and some without so presumably he is flexible, which is good. What specific aspects of fir concern you?
Btw, the value of the alumni network is VERY dependent on the student. I have one who works hard at networking, and one who is more reticent and doesn’t leverage the connections. The alumni network does not magically open doors; you have to put in effort. But the kid who is a good networker at Elite U will also be a good networker at State U.
Good family friend’s daughter got into a top 10 college. Family is very well off. Her father refused to pony up the $60,000 per year. Daughter and him still have rocky relationship. She attends state flagship (top ranked public) and isn’t morose all day, but will be honest and say she wishes she she had attended the elite.
Let’s keep this thread on track to hear from people with Ivy experiences.
“But the kid who is a good networker at Elite U will also be a good networker at State U.”
True…but with diff. ceilings. Everywhere you turn at an elite is so and sos dad/mom and prestigious companies throwing luncheons and a professor who can connect you to so and so and intern feeder programs. Outside of like Berkley and tech, you’re not getting anywhere near that sort of ‘target rich’ environment at a public U.
Why all the focus on alumni networks? How many people really ever find the need to tap into their alumni network in life? I’ve done quite well without ever doing any alumni networking. I’m still good friends with many I went to school with despite the fact that we are spread out across the country, but that’s it.