<p>I am not turning this into a holocaust thread or any other type of thread. As soon as someone points out the hatred that Jewish people feel it becomes just that.</p>
<p>I feel sorry that you were mistreated by your inlaws. But that has nothing to do with anyone but you and them. You are using that experience as a filter through which you see every Jewish person and situation. Your husband should have never allowed that treatment to occur or continue–and I personally would have distanced myself from anyone who didnt respect or value me. The other thing to keep in mind is that all this pain and hate is hurting you-- they are gone and you are still letting it run your life and control your emotions. Please see this as advice-- I do not mean it as an attack.</p>
<p>You have a point Wilners. It has caused alot of pain over the years and the only plus was that my kids did not need to endure it because my in-laws lived in Florida. I did distance myself from them until there was no one else to take care of them. I would be appalled if any of my children ever put up with that, but they wouldn’t because the little they know has made them understand how ugly the situation was.</p>
<p>Everyone: Read Melvin Konner’s outstanding book: “Unsettled: An Anthropology of the Jews”.</p>
<p>This is an interesting thread. It is something we are thinking about as our daughter thinks about college. The quality of Jewish life on campus is important to us. We share the thoughts of Chedva, levirm and wilners in this regard. We would not want our daughter to miss out on this.</p>
<p>It is not an anti-Christian mindset. We had lots of Jewish friends and lots of Christian friends in college. I also recognize that momma-three’s experience is not unique and I am not condoning the way she was treated by her in-laws.</p>
<p>To the OP, your daughter ultimately needs to make up her own mind. It would help if she could visit the schools. I think the campus environment is more important than the surrounding city. I suspect Iowa, Case and Wooster have the largest Jewish populations of the 6 mentioned but the Hillel website would have more information on this. I think there are more than 100 Jewish students at Iowa.</p>
<p>If you’re interested in a school with a very large number of Jewish students, try Yeshiva(?) University.
It’s in NYC (…I think. I just know about it because I’ve seen signs on the road towards the Bronx.)
You might want to research it though, like I said, outside of what I mentioned, I know nothing about that school.</p>
<p>You have all made very valid points and I thank you for your comments and suggestions. I never intended this to turn into a major debate about religion or anti-Semitism. </p>
<p>The posts that accuse me of being anti-Christian haven’t taken into account the fact the Jews are a very small minority in the U.S. It is a complicated issue, but some of us feel the desire or even an obligation to preserve our heritage.</p>
<p>PlattsburghLoser, Yeshiva University is an all-male university for the Orthodox. It is a self-selecting school at which a non-Orthodox Jew would unlikely be comfortable. </p>
<p>Suggesting Yeshiva to someone who wants some Jews on campus is like suggesting Wheaton College (IL) to someone who wants to know if there are Protestant services on campus.</p>
<p>I suppose you missed this part:
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<p>Perhaps they were saying that so that any students looking for a jewish population would understand, or to tell you for future reference, and not as an attack against you. But heaven forbid we give people on the internet the benefit of the doubt. :P</p>
<p>I am Jewish and this thread is disgusting. It is really simple:</p>
<p>1) The overwhelming majority of people at most schools will not care that you are Jewish.</p>
<p>2) If you are Caucasian and Jewish, and even larger majority will not even know you are Jewish unless you go out of your way to tell them.</p>
<p>3) Furthermore, if you are not a religious Jew - like you don’t even do Sabbath prayers or recite the Sh’ma twice every day - then I don’t see why this would even be an issue for you.</p>
<p>4) The only way this would be a problem is that if you are a Jew and find yourself in an extreme minority environment (as you have in just about every location you have been in during your lifetime… so again… confusion) and somehow also become incredibly indignant about your Jewish identity, then sure, people might not like you, but the same could apply for just about anything that identifies you (politics, gender, etc). This is just as far as unlikely if you have a trivial Jewish identity…</p>
<p>5) If you go out of your way to go to a school with a population that might not be that diverse or socially open - say, Auburn - then you may run into a few people who are hostile because they have had sheltered upbringing and have racist thoughts, but again, the majority of people really do not care.</p>
<p>6) Basically every school on the planet has a Hillel that Jewish students can join.</p>
<p>7) If you aren’t religious, why do you care about being located near a city with Jews? Really, this makes me think that this isn’t a religious issue, but something else. If you were located next to aforementioned city, would you walk in and just naturally pick out the Jews and ask to be taken into their homes or something? This is a very weird idea.</p>
<p>8) If you didn’t raise your daughter religiously, why do you think she would be concerned about Jewish populations where she goes? Why would you expect her to seek out arbitrary Jewish populations where she goes, even outside of the school? It’s ridiculous.</p>
<p>I think this whole thread has nothing to do with Judaism and more about a worried parent who wants her daughter to be with people that she would be comfortable with in her own home or community; a euphemistic and politically astute way of abhorring racial/social diversity by disguising it as something else. None of the reasoning in this thread makes sense.</p>
<p>Manhattan 75, there is no need to get nasty. Yes, I want my daughter to be comfortable. Is there a problem with that? Your other statements are full of incorrect assumptions that are totally off-base and unfounded. Sounds like you have some other issues.</p>
<p>People who aren’t Jewish can’t be comfortable to be around? A bit hypocritical to expect people of a different religion to make for an uncomfortable environment and only people of your religion to provide for a comfortable environment when you and your family aren’t even religious. </p>
<p>You still do not make any sense. I think you are confused. If you and your daughter are not religious, then Judaism has nothing to do with this. Jews are not going to pick up on some Jewish pheromone and magically band together and make things all hunky-dory because you share some religious connection or minute ethnic similarity. The extent of Jews providing fellow Jews comfort at a university is like Hillel (IF you are religious and care about that…) or joining a Jewish fraternity, which isn’t any different than a non-Jewish fraternity.</p>
<p>I swore that I would stay off this thread, but any comment made by someone pointing out how bigoted the OP, and others sound, is met with these comments “Sounds like you have some other issues”. I was accused of that, and now another poster who also sees the disgrace of this thread is being accused of that. If this thread was posted by a Christian wouldn’t you see the remarks as being anti semetic? </p>
<p>I can’t imagine that your daughter is looking at schools where the Jewish population could be counted on one hand, and if she is, you will not be happy because heaven forbid there would be any assimilation. I have told my own kids to be aware of who they get involved with because this type of thinking is so prevalent in the Jewish community that many have lost sight of the fact that we are all the same…human beings. </p>
<p>I was so thankful that my husbands parents moved away one week after our marraige because my children did not grow up seeing the hate that my in laws emanated. Their Christian daughter in law and their Jewish son raised some pretty nice kids that care less about the color of peoples skin or their religion. We have friends that come in a variety of shades and religious backgrounds, but none that appear to have these views.</p>
<p>I have also noticed that the more intelligent people become the more tolerant they are of people that have different perspectives. Just do your daughters a favor and make it clear that you won’t ever accept a Christian son/daughter in law into your family. It will save any grandchildren the horror of seeing grandparents pretend that they are kind and loving people.</p>
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<p>It really is. I grew up in a really sheltered Jewish community outside NYC, and it is really easy for parents/students to grow up thinking with trendy, open-minded politics about the world around them, but then they have to go live in the real world and suddenly they need a way to maintain this separation from everyone else (like they have in their homogeneous suburbs) without sacrificing their world views… So what do they call it? They call it “comfort” or some other nonsense like that.</p>
<p>Look, “Artfulmom”, if that is your real name, you give a bad name to Jews like me. If you read your thread from any other point of view, or a point of view not clouded by PC nonsense, you will see that it is incredibly close minded. It is irrational. You original request was FOR US to RUN THROUGH THE JEWISH POPULATIONS OF 8 RANDOM MIDWESTERN SCHOOLS AND ARTICULATE IF THIS WOULD BE COMPATIBLE OR SOMEHOW SIGNIFICANTLY INFLUENTIAL IN YOUR COLLEGE DECISION PROCESS. IT IS SO NARROW IT IS EMBARRASSING. Momma-Three is correct. You know what? How about you send your daughter to Tuscaloosa, Alabama, and I guarantee she will become more knowledgeable about race and ethnicity and have a more beneficial learning and growing experience than going to some sheltered Jewish LAC like Brandeis or something. Open your eyes. The population of Jews has nothing to do with your daughter’s education.</p>
<p>I read through this thread and I don’t really want to touch on arguments that were brought up but I’ll give my ideas as a Jewish college student.<br>
I am a very open-minded person and have many friends, Jewish, Christian, Hindu, Muslim, etc. at school. Some of my friends had met a Jew before, some hadn’t. Most people are open to new ideas and interested in discussing other people’s religions just to learn more and become more educated, and accepting. I don’t make friends based on whether or not they are Jewish, but it is nice to have a Jewish community on campus. It is nice to have a Hillel or Chabad because when I attend Shabbat dinners or Jewish events it feels more homey. My friends who are not Jewish also attend some Shabbat dinners to learn about the religion, and I’ve attended Iftar, the meal that ends the fasting of Ramadan each day.<br>
Having a Jewish community on campus is nice because it is good to have the option of participating in Jewish things. I also know our Hillel provides chicken soup when you get sick which is a nice feeling when you are away from home to know that someone will look out for you.</p>
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<p>Thank you for Post #36 above. So far, with a few exceptions including the above post, this thread is full of heat and lacking in light.</p>
<p>When the OP asked this question, it was not an invitation to land on her. She asked about one aspect of college life to assist her family when decision-making time comes around. </p>
<p>For a teaching point, I’ll try to construct a parallel: If the OP’s family had strong historic roots in farming and still owned a big farm somewhere in Iowa the student might inherit someday, then even if farming had lessened in recent generations of that family, the OP might nonetheless wonder about colleges that had outlet for studying agriculture or meeting farmers – in case her daughter’s interest developed in those areas. She can’t force her daughter to do anything, but wants to know which schools have resources in that area of familial interest. </p>
<p>Would posters jump on the OP as being anti-urban for asking such a question? Would they tell her only someone who was currently an active rancher had the right to even inquire on behalf of her D about the agrarian offerings at colleges under consideration? </p>
<p>No, that’d be over-the-top. You might realize instead she’s exploring something pertinent to her family heritage, to explore sending her daughter where an important theme be rekindled so she can someday consider making best use of the family heritage. Having some others around who share pleasure in an agrarian lifestyle would more likely cause her to appreciate or even develop interest in taking over the family farm for yet another generation. </p>
<p>CC is all about asking about factors that might impact college choices, be they financial, geographic, academic or cultural. To ask about Jewish opportunities IN NO WAY demeans Christians, or vice-versa.</p>
<p>Here is the question on the table, from the OP:</p>
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<p>Who can respond to her question?</p>
<p>^^^^^
Read some of the other posts by those defending and agreeing with the views of the OP. I am talking about the religious hatred, not farming. You may not be familar with the type of behavior that I am speaking about. If the OPs fear is that her child may fall in love with a Christian than just say so.</p>
<p>^^I constructed the farming as a parallel teaching point. If you can’t unlock enough to consider it, then I failed.</p>
<p>There was no religious hatred on this thread expressed by the OP or those trying to help her. </p>
<p>I am indeed familiar with the type of behavior you are speaking about. </p>
<p>I can also tell you countless family stories from first-hand experience where inlaws learned to accept each other, treat each other with kindness, did not extend ill feelings about either family-of-origin to assume others shared the same limitations as their inlaw family. Rather, they moved forward.</p>
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<p>Nobody has to disclose why they ask a question. They just ask.</p>
<p>You’re not up-to-date on the realities of Jewish families with 50% rates of marrying outside the faith, whose responses range from disappointment to acceptance; two-faith households, no-faith households or conversion by one party to the others’ faith community. You know of one family, and I’m sorry they were as closeminded as many in their generation who retired in Florida sometime back.</p>
<p>When 50% of all Christian families find their kids taking Muslim partners for life, you’ll begin to notice Christian families also trying to respond proactively to preserve what they deem important.</p>