<p>Did I say something Racist? </p>
<p>Directly to the north of Hopkins are the neighborhoods of Roland Park and Guilford. These are old money neighborhoods with beautiful houses and luxury parks outside. Can you guess what color of people DON’T live inside? I’ll give you a hint, I like coffee this way. These neighborhoods are extremely dangerous, due to the fact that the population is almost exclusively white and rich, and everyone knows that rich old white men are the most likely of all people to be rapists, psychopaths, mass murderers, child molesters, etc. Not to mention the fact that rich old white men are “oppressors” by their very nature, so if you are a minority, I would suggest you avoid this area entirely, due to the inherent prejudices associated with class and race that infest the neighborhood. Here, you might become a victim of “racism”, which is probably much worse than getting mugged by a poor gangster black person (and in this case, he isn’t at any fault, the mugging could most certainly be attributed to discriminatory institutions, leaving him no other choice, but to mug you, a well-off Hopkins student), because as the saying goes, sticks and stones break my bones, but words hurt the most. </p>
<p>To the west of Hopkins is Remington, a kind of industrial neighborhood that isn’t very pretty, but some students do live here, and it is not THAT unsafe. Also to the west is Hampden, which can be best characterized as a neighborhood that has a quirky combination of proletarian and hipster influences. White, of course. It is a little run down, but generally safe. </p>
<p>To the south of campus all the way to Penn Station is the remainder of Charles Village. There are lots of students living in the Northern part from 27th street on up, but as you progress south, the locale becomes blacker and blacker. What happens to a typical Hopkins student who walks beyond this point is a matter that is best discussed behind closed walls. I will briefly describes the psychological process that occurs when a Hopkins student ventures into this vast unknown of blackness. People are by their very nature, sinful. This is one of the fundamental tenets of Calvinism, absolute depravity, theologically speaking. And one of the greatest sins of our post-modern times is “racism”. And all white people (and Asian people, to a greater extreme) are by their very nature racist. Thus what happens when their corneas detect multiple black people in the vicinity is regrettable. Racism is deeply instilled into our minds, and when they see black people, the “fear” mechanism is activated. It is unreasonable, and uncalled for, but it happens. It is just the way the world works. The area is NOT DANGEROUS, but is frequently perceived as dangerous due to ingrained racism. But what can you do to cure yourself of racism? Fortunately, Hopkins offers many classes in social justice to remedy these prejudices. If that isn’t enough, Hopkins also has a Office of Multicultural Affairs, where you can attend a thought reform session. I highly recommend going to one of these. Additionally, there is a student organization called Students Educating and Empowering for Diversity, which specializes in ridding people of all kinds of prejudice. </p>
<p>I did all of three of these treatments and can now walk around in any part of Baltimore without feeling afraid. And you know why? I am an enlightened anti-racist and bystanders can always detect a progressive aura surrounding my torso when I walk by. I swear a couple of black people were just about to mug me, but then stopped, because they realized I was part of their misery, a fighter for their quest for racial justice and equality, then gave me a respectful nod, as I moved on to save the world from white people. </p>
<p>To the east of Hopkins is a neighborhood known as Waverly. Here there are lots of black people as well, so the above psychological process also comes into play. Waverly is a lower-middle class mainly black neighborhood that has a lot of ghetto type shops (this is an improvement over the real ghetto from The Wire, where are there are almost no shops, because they would get robbed). Shoe City, Hair Braiding, Lake Trout, “Chinese” Food, Liquor, can all be found in this wonderful shopping district. It is intimidating for most people not used to an urban environment, but perfectly safe during the day, and reasonably at night (when black people are camouflaged and stealth).</p>