<p>Well, I promised I would try to keep this updated. I received an offer to work in retail in a different city. I haven’t said yes or no to the offer yet, and while the decision is mine to make, I feel like there might be hellfire and brimstone from my parents if I don’t accept it. Also, both of my parents indicated that I would be burdening my grandparents by staying with them — even though I never asked them about it, they just offered.</p>
<p>As far as the offer goes, I am grateful to have a job offer from someone. Being unemployed has not been a pleasant or friendly experience, and having a job is better than no job. I also am very afraid to wait any longer about having a job, for understandable reasons. However, I can’t help but feel down on myself still. I’m worried about some of the stigma associated with the retail (especially among future prospective employers who might think I am lacking in some area because I couldn’t secure a certain type of first job). Moreover, I’m lucky to be free of dependents, a lease, furniture, etc., and if I take this job, I will inundated with some of that stuff. That would mean limiting my job search geographically (and that I was one thing I had in my favor)… or at least limiting it until my lease was up. I’m not sure if it would be better to take a job (even though they are not plentiful) here at home while I continue searching – there is a possibility that I could work for my dad. I also have fears that I will get stuck/have a harder time in the future.</p>
<p>I still feel let down and disappointed by myself, and I feel ashamed and duped that I spent four years working hard at a great school with no hopeful prospects. I have really been questioning myself these past few months, and now I am even beginning to question my education. I don’t think I had any great illusions about the job prospects or even what types of job I may get, but like I said earlier, I feel like I’m asking for too much now. Maybe my fears and hesitancy are entitled, unfounded or paranoid. I just feel worse and more stressed out about the whole situation now.</p>