<p>Post your jokes here:</p>
<p>It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept
people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was
standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the
day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was
having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all
over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the
balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge
by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his
hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and
pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me
a heart attack, and I died." St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty
bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in. He then
asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful,"
said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor
apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to
grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and
started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some
bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!" St. Peter chuckled,
let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.
"Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line. "OK,
picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."</p>
<p>I thought it would be a good idea to make a funny thread!</p>
<p>^o worde!</p>
<p>would anyone be offended by uhhh by racial jokes? i don't want to **** anyone off :(</p>
<p>i don't think racial or sexist jokes would be appreciated. just a forewarning. </p>
<p>here's a good one that's not lewd or anything totally bad:</p>
<p>A guy walked into a bar and said to the bartender. "Give me six double vodkas."
The bartneder poured the drinks and said, You must have had one hell of a day."
"Yes," the man said. "I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day, the man returned to the bar adn placed the same order. When the bartender asked what the problem was, the man said, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay, too."
On the third day, the guy cam into teh bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
The man downed the first drink and said, "Yeah, my wife!" </p>
<p>hope this doesnt offend anyone</p>
<p>^heh... a decent one, i liked how u used the word "teh", classic gamer right there!</p>
<p>here's one (not racist don't worry)</p>
<p>A young attractive woman was in a bar. She later had to go to teh bathroom. 5 minutes later, she returned, and walked up to the bartender, and asked,
"Is the manager busy?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so." the bartender replied
"Can you tell him something?" the young woman said, while gently putting her fingers in the bartender's mouth.
"Sure."
"Tell him there's no toilet paper in the bathroom."</p>
<p>^^ that was lame! boooo</p>
<p>the negativity!!! wow</p>
<p>i thot the joke was cute, was insight that did it. one of those "i dont get... OH haha" jokes. </p>
<p>the 'teh' was natural. i actually rereaded my post for spelling errors and somehow missed it.</p>
<p>How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?</p>
<p>NONE! FEMINISTS CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING!</p>
<p>(awaits female backlash)</p>
<p>haha you might wana stay clear of the roads. those elderly women may be dangerous drivers now for two reasons (the first being old, the second...the joke)</p>
<p>lawl, i actually thought streetlights was pretty good... as it being i am not a woman... no offense of course</p>
<p>bah, all the jokes i like are lewd. =(</p>
<p>try them, mine got through the filter. i think...</p>
<p>and it came from p1@y60y, hehe</p>
<p>please don't read this if you're easily offended. i know i have a weird sense of humor, no need to tell me. </p>
<p>an american gentleman was visiting spain and wanted to experience the culture to the fullest. one day as he sat in a high-class restraunt a waiter walked by with a plate heaped with steaming meat that smelled heavenly. Later on the gentleman approached the waiter tried to order the same dish. "Oh," the waiter replied. "That would be our town's finest delicacy. However, only one order can be made a day. You see, every day there is a bull fight in the town square and when the bull is killed by the matthe most tender part of his body, his b*lls, are sold to this restraunt." The American was a bit taken aback, but decided to request that the waiter save him tomorrow's order after the bullfight. The next day the gentleman was presented with the dish for lunch and he found it just as delicious as it smelled. After sending his compliments to the chef, he asked the waiter, "That was wonderful, but why were the portions so much smaller than last time?" The waiter replied, "Sometimes the bull wins, you know."</p>
<p>you have a weird sense of humor</p>
<p>haha j slash k (LAWL!)</p>
<p>A gay man, a priest, and a pedophile walked into a bar. Wait, that was just the first person.</p>
<p>hahahah!! man, I love my threads!!
this is sooo funny! keept the jokes coming!
and oh yeah...deux ex machina...nice Latin!
Vale!</p>