@rphx2nc - You made me lol and smile.
Also, in terms of essays: I’m actually pleased when a college requires or offers one/some to answer. To me that speaks to how the college knows what they are looking for, etc. and I like knowing that they are maximizing a good fit. Wouldn’t want S to attend a school that only cared about numbers. And, extending that further, I like schools that recommend or prefer interviews, too for the same reason.
Many thanks for the continued f/b. 