junior boarding recommendations?

Prep School Admissions
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<p>Thanks to all of you for your thoughtful answers to the questions that are posted. Maybe you can provide some wisdom for me.</p>

<p>My son is currently in 7th grade in a well respected private day school here in Santa Fe, NM. He is physically small for his age, but very outgoing and fairly confident. We are considering BS because he is quite bright and bored by the schoolwork. Often he will not turn in his vocabulary homework for weeks because it is just busy work to him and in the meantime will write extra essays on some topic (lately he's into WWII) that interests him and turn that in instead. </p>

<p>Things are complicated by the fact that he suffered with depression a couple of years ago as a result of some serious bullying. He has continued counseling until this day but has recovered well and I don't worry about it too much anymore. He has also been diagnosed with ADHD but that does not seem to keep him from functioning in a fairly normal way - just with a lot of energy. Let me put it this way - the worst situation for him to be in is one in which he is bored. If he is challenged and his mind is busy, he's great. </p>

<p>Do you think a junior boarding school could be a good fit for him? He loves the idea of having friends around all the time, of having so many things to do, and of being challenged in school. I do think a more nurturing approach would be better for him and that has worked well for him in day school.</p>

<p>If anybody knows of any junior boarding schools out west, please let me know. Right now, all our options seem to be 3000 miles away. Also, any specific recommendations for schools (east or west) would be greatly appreciated.</p>

<p>Thx!</p>

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<p>Eaglebrook School Eaglebrook</a> School ~ Welcome or Bement School [url=<a href="http://www.bement.org%5DBement"&gt;http://www.bement.org]Bement&lt;/a> School<a href="both%20in%20Deerfield,%20Mass">/url</a> are good.<br>
Eaglebrook is all boys grades 6-9 and Bement is co-ed K-9. Bement is much smaller with 250 students total (about 150 in 6-9) and Eaglebrook has about 275.<br>
Eaglebrook has amazing athletic facilities - more fields than you can imagine, pool, gym and skiing with snowmaking.<br>
Bement is smaller and has a more "homelike" feel, but facilities are less "impressive" than Eaglebrook. However, classes are small at both and both offer a challenging academic program.</p>

<p>There is also Cardigan Mountain in New Hampshire (all boys) and the Fay School in Southboro - both have good reputations. In addition, Worcester Academy is 6-12 as is Trinity-Pawling, but I'm not sure when thier boarding starts. </p>

<p>Good Luck.</p>

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<p>From your description of your son, and generally speaking, I think he would do better at a coed school than an all boys school such at Eaglebrook or Cardigan. While EBS and Cardigan offer many of the things you are looking for (active lifestyle, rigorous academics, ADHD counseling) the entire atmosphere at boys schools (or at least those 2) tends to be based more on competition than on nurturing per se.</p>

<p>I would recommend that you check out Bement, the Fay School or Rectory (in CT), at least as a starting point. I'm sorry, I don't know anything about schools that might be interesting and a little closer to home.</p>

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<p>I'll put on my EBS hat: The only competition that EBS has is home. The facilities are incredible. They just refurbished the dorms. Not that they were falling apart but made them more economical with the rising energy costs. The place really is unbelievable. It is a controlled environment in which the kids learn and grow, even when don't think they are. The Headmaster and faculty are first rate. I too was small for my age, I was not even on the chart! At EBS I got to play football, wrestled (not enough snow back then, besides later on became a state champion runner up, 2nd.) and lacrosse. Ok, Sunday afternoons were boring, breakfast, chapel followed by a big meal/feast. The matriculation list tells a lot. After 35 years I still see fellow classmates. Check out the website, google it. My brother went to The Rectory and I haven't heard him ever say boo about the place although it did help him tremendously with his reading.</p>

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<p>Thank you for your thoughts. I must agree with you about coed vs just boys - that was certainly my first inclination as well. What about Rectory...isn't it primarily for kids with LD?</p>

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<p>Thank you so much fo your message. EBS sounds fantastic! I have seen the website and it certainly seems very impressive. The comment you made regarding home really caught my attention though:</p>

<p>"The only competition that EBS has is home." </p>

<p>As a graduate of junior boarding school, would you say that you would have been as happy or happier at home? </p>

<p>We do not have great schools here and both my husband and I went to boarding school, so we have always thought of BS as the best alternative. My son is really sensitive and loves having close friends around all the time, so BS could provide this, but by the same token, he is easily hurt and I'm afraid of being so far if he needs extra support. He usually has excellent relationships with adults, so if he forms a special relationship with a teacher or someone he trusts, I think he would be fine. </p>

<p>Thanks in advance for your thoughts and information.</p>

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<p>I was just as happy at home as I was at EBS but there is no way that I could have accomplished as much as I did at EBS than at home. I loved the sports at EBS and many the extracurricular activities the school had to offer. There is no way that I could have gotten the help I needed in math at home that I got at EBS. The faculty were and are 24/7 for all issues whether it be academics or an ear to bend. I already look forward to Winter Carnival weekend in February to catch up with old friends, faculty and alumni alike and bring my kids skiing! Every kid is sensitive, some tougher than others but the faculty quickly figure out who is thick skinned and who is not. I believe that the issue of bullying is nothing compared to what it use to be. It is stomped on so abruptly these days by faculty and students that it makes me embarrassed how it was tolerated at Pre-prep & Prep way back when. My oldest S is away at BS and I recently ask him about it and he said it simply does not exist at his BS. Students that don't get along just don't interact. To each his/her own, even the Goth's hang out in dark corners undisturbed. I'm always willing to go to bat for EBS in public on CC because there doesn't seem to be many Pre-prep advocates around. I would hope that those who attended Cardigan, Indian Mt, Fay, Rectory, Bement and others feel just as strong about their school as I do about Eaglebrook. What followed EBS was a continuation of learning and growing coupled with opportunities I never would have realized or been subjected to at home. There are very few Pre-prep and so many great Prep BS out there that I try to stay a little incognito about where I went afterwards (the best of course) as posters can get a little possessive about their BS, which actually is a good thing.</p>

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<p>You mention your son had problems with bullying a bout of depression. This is anecdotal, but a good friend of ours (he is a professor at a boarding hs) sent both of his sons to EBS and was very unhappy with the experience. He said there was quite a bit of bullying, particularly if you were not a superb athlete. This is just one person's opinion, but I know this man well. He is easygoing and not a complainer. He was clearly unhappy with this childrens' experience.
I have another friend whose son attended Cardigan Mtn School and he absolutely loved it.</p>

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<p>Well there you go, Cardigan Mt, need I say more being the arch rival of Eaglebrook. Honestly, I'm sorry those boys experience was not similar to mine. I'm sure bullying still exist in the Pre-prep schools and I'm sure in the Prep schools as well, regardless of what my S may say. I don't want to say it is a part of life, it shouldn't be and I know all of these schools do their utmost to simply stop it.
Kids can be awfully mean to one another but it is not prevalent in these schools.</p>

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<p>In my opinion, your son is not a good candidate for boarding school at this time.New England is too far away for your son in light of his age, maturity and learning disability. There are boarding schools in California and in British Columbia that accept junior boarders, but your son does not have the right profile at this time in his life. Try to get your son involved in activities in Santa Fe that involve others with similiar interests and which will build his self esteem and confidence.</p>

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<p>I don't know if you really want a "pre prep" school versus a "prep" school, but Groton takes kids in eighth grade. My mother attended and loved it.</p>

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<p>On the flip side of icy's comment, I propose the opposite. Maybe that's just what he needs!</p>

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<p>Of course, if this is what he wants. Otherwise, what difference does it make whether he flies to California, Canada or New England?</p>

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<p>With a California boarding school, there is only 1 change of planes (or perhaps none from LA) on the trip home to NM with more flights to choose from. Logan will almost guarantee a connection to a western hub (Denver, Dallas) with much more limited chances.</p>

<p>Flying goalie girl south is bad enough with very limited choices and often the flight out of Dulles, Newark, Chicago, Philadelphia, or Detroit is the last one of the day, which in the event of bad weather or mechanical problems leaves a teenager at a distant airport overnight.</p>

<p>My only real choice for getting goaliegirl home without the "last flight" problem is US Air through Charlotte. And if worse came to worse, road warrior goaliedad could rescue her from Charlotte.</p>

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<p>When we open ourselves up to asking for the opinions of others, we sometimes cause ourselves unnecessary hurt and anguish. Please remember that these are only OPINIONS and that they are based on very limited information. As parents, we know what is best for our children when all is said and done. In my opinion, I think you should follow your child. If your child needs something more, something else and something challenging, then do whatever you can to help him find it. I hope you won't let the thoughts of others who don't know your child at all weigh too heavily in on your decisions. I think it was Yates who said, "Education is not the filling up of an empty bucket, but the lighting of a fire." Help your son find the right school no matter where it is. Best of luck.</p>

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<p>HI Hockeykid, Thanks for the thought. He actually wants to go to Groton, but I have sid no due to his size and I think the academic stress will be to much of a shock to him. That's how we came to the idea of a junior prep school. It will be a more nurturing environment and his small stature will not as much of an issue. I told him that I would allow him to attend Groton or any of the other prestigious schools that he wants to attend if he prepares himself properly at a junior prep.
Thanks again. All suggestions are appreciated.</p>

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<p>I am mostly a lurker, but I wanted to say a word about Fay School in Southborough, MA. My child is a recent graduate, and it was a great experience. It is very structured, but at the same time, very nurturing. Great weekend activities. My daughter's only complaint was that things were "too strict" at times, and this was primarily in her last year. They do have a traditional dress code.
I never thought I could have let a child go to boarding school in 7th grade, but, like your son, my daughter needed more challenge than she could get in the schools in our area. She also was able to do a variety of extracurricular activities at Fay that would have been logistically difficult at home. (We are from an area in the south with very poor schools)
I really cannot say enough good things about Fay. My D's academic preparation for secondary school was excellent. Many caring teachers - by the time she graduated, they were like an extended family. The school always responsive whenever I had any concerns. The secondary school placement office is outstanding.
My daughter visits Fay when she can and keeps in touch with teachers and many friends (from all over the world).<br>
I have to say that my our experience may be colored by the fact that I was able to visit with some frequency and see some performances, athletic events, etc. I also got to know some of her friends and their parents. We are about a 3 hour flight away, and airfares between the two cities are usually reasonable. I understand that this is not feasable for everyone. Between my visits and school vacations, I estimate that I saw her about every 4 weeks during the school year. We talked on the telephone or by email every day. All this to say, bs at this age (or any age) is a highly personal decision for each family. It turned out to be a good one for us.</p>

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<p>To Ops. I must say that I am leaning towards agreeing with you. When my son first brought this up, I thought he was too young, but after researching our options and really thinking about his needs and personality, I think the RIGHT SCHOOL (challenging but still pretty "warm and fuzzy") might be great for him. Basically I have a child who has never been challenged in school and is bored - the right school could remedy that. His ADHD definitely makes keeping him busy a challenge. In fact the ADHD seems to have been more of a problem for his parents than himself. He loves being really productive. Its us he wears out. I'm guessing he would love a boarding school with all the activities and opportunities available. He also longs for that sense of community he has enjoyed at camps - the right school could remedy that as well. He had been bullied in the past because of his small stature, not because he is shy or odd. In the right school that should not be a problem. I do think he needs help learning study skills and habits - he's never needed them before and he has set high goals for himself. If he's to go to the schools he plans to, he needs some help making sure he's prepared in those areas as well. </p>

<p>To Icy, Thanks for your thoughts as well. I appreciate your concerns but maybe I have not been clear. My son has a great deal of self confidence - in fact if he weren't short, he would probably be way too cocky for his own good. He does have ADHD but it has never interfered with his schoolwork or his ability to learn. It mostly has just attributed to his sense of boredom with rote school work. I've decided against a BS that takes 8th graders in addition to the high school grades because I do think that would be to high pressure for him at this time. Junior BS seems as though it could provide him a smoother transition to the prestigious BS he dreams of attending in a few years. </p>

<p>Goaliedad is right about the travel challenges. Considering that there are NO junior boarding schools west of Lakeville, CT that I can find, travel arrangements to get him home certainly present a problem. We do have family in NY and VA so I'm guessing that I could use them to assist when necessary. </p>

<p>To Liv&learn, Thanks for your thoughts as well, but don't worry, I can take it. I've never joined a forum before this one - never had the desire, but it was the generally thoughtful and helpful approach of the members here that led me start asking opinions and I have not been disappointed. Very few kids go off to boarding school in New Mexico, so believe me, I'm getting my fair share of negativity here as well. People think I am crazy - except my next door neighbor whos son was dyslexic. They sent him to Salisbury and said it changed everything for him. Hearing everyones opinions just helps me to crystallize my own. </p>

<p>My husband is from Europe and I am from the east coast, and we chose to move out west to a slower pace of life which suits us, but the environment here seems almost stiffling to my son. My husband was living on an island in the Carribean (sp?) when he was sent to boarding school. Even thought it sounds idyllic, he describes those years on the island as boring. He says the whole world opened up for him when he went away to school.</p>

<p>This is a very difficult decision for us in that nothing is ever middle-of-the-road with my son. I am fully prepared that he will either hate boarding school or absolutely love it, but the more I think about it, the more I suspect that he will love it.</p>

<p>We will be visiting schools in January. Does anyone have any additional info on Rumsey Hall and/or Indian Mountain? </p>

<p>Thanks again to all of you.</p>

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<p>Indian Mountain is a majority day student population, co-ed, near Hotchkiss, accommodates ADD and LD students in grades 5-9, offering boarding to grades 6-9. Rumsey Hall, also majority day students and co-ed is a K-9 day school offering boarding to grades 5-9. Accommodates LD students. The California and British Columbia schools do not meet your requirements as they accept students through grade 12. Your son may experience difficulty flying if he has to change planes, becomes sick, gets stranded due to weather or mechanical problems as most hotels do not allow those under 18 to register for rooms w/o an adult. Happens more often than you might think. Bullying issue should be addressed up front as it is not uncommon, but has caused your son to be treated for depression. Depression, boredom and a learning disability are important to share with any potential boarding school. If Albuquerque is an option, then contact Albuquerque Academy, Bosque School or Sandia Prep, all of which are excellent private day schools. The Rectory School in Pomfret, Connecticutt is majority boarding for grades 5-9. Accommodates ADD & LD students.</p>

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<p>nobody on here ever talks about Cate. i almost went there, and aside from the fact that they dont junior board and are 9-12, it seems great for your son! plus it is in california, closer to your home.</p>