<p>I generally agree that the kid needs to take the lead in most aspects of the college process. That applies to recruiting as well. HOWEVER, we got some interesting information from the Princeton coach. He insisted that we come in the room during our son’s first meeting with him. (our son had ordered us to disappear…) The coach said, “If your son comes to Princeton, I am the adult that is going to have the most contact with him and the most influence on him, and I want you to get to know me.” Therefore, I would not hesitate to telephone the coach, speak with him, ask the hard questions etc. My husband and I also spent some time with the coach at Penn, where my son ended up. The Williams coach made a point of calling the parents regularly during the recruiting process, as well as calling the kid.</p>