Just got back from Visits/Tours: a few lessons/best practices learned

Prep School Admissions
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We just returned from our big trip to New England to visit and interview, and I wanted to share some thoughts that might be helpful for others.

  1. Personally we found doing 2 interviews a day very doable. yes, busy. But I’m SO glad we visited 12 schools in a week! We flew across the country and took a week off school and work, so i would have felt like there was way too much downtime if we had done fewer. (This is more applicable to those who travel far).
  2. It was truly amazing how easily we were able to remove some choices for bad fit.
  3. We were VERY surprised by which schools we removed. But we knew 12 was too many, so I’m not looking back. If DD didn’t love it, then we crossed it off the list and moved on.
  4. On the flip side, I had to help DD not to dislike a whole school because of one bad tour guide or one staff/faculty interaction that we didn’t like. We REALLY looked at: how the kids related to one another and the faculty. (Yes, also how they interacted with us, but more how they were to each other).
  5. We were very surprised by the differences in cell phone use culture. Wide range here! (and the reason for several removals. My DD loves her phone but seeing kids walk around with their nose in a phone instead of chatting in clumps while walking to class was a hot button issue for her.)
  6. There was a real difference between the “closed campus” feeling schools and the “open campus in town” feeling schools. I underestimated this difference. Neither good nor bad, but just very different.
  7. Someone here suggested using voice memo on cell phone to record a conversation upon leaving the campus. This was GREAT advice. I second it. We chatted for 15-20 minutes after each visit, really doing our best to identify what we liked or didn’t. Not just “I love it!” but really calling out things we liked specifically. We also just gave each school an overall “gut score” of 1-10. It helped to keep things easy to organize in my head.
    7a. Speaking of scores, we decided specifically NOT to rank the choices. We decided that our goal was to determine which schools she would attend if offered admission. That made up our school list. Yes, she does have some favorites in the bunch, naturally. But our official approach is; they are all equal, and we will get into ranking after M10, and revisits if she gets in. But for today, she has her list of schools and that’s that.
  8. We bought some inexpensive personalized thank you notes from Staples (go online and they are ready for store pickup same day or next day). We stayed on top of the thank you notes every night just to avoid getting overwhelmed.
  9. hotels with free breakfast were GREAT because we would save time not having to go to another spot for food. Definitely keep water and snacks in the car because more than once we had to skip a meal as something ran over or we hit traffic and had to eat in the car between visits.
  10. Interviews – yes, DK should know why boarding school and why this school (which we reviewed before each interview). Also, should know what their history (activities and passions and such over the years) and basic narrative are. (e.g. I’m a science whiz who plays high level soccer and I raise monarch butterflies as a hobby, which i hope will be my career.) But the questions were quite random and a bit all over the place so the skill really becomes: how to give my answers to your questions in a way that is natural. How to answer the questions and work in one of your top main narrative points into the answer. So if they ask: how do you get along with your siblings. DK can reply: my brother is my best friend! in fact, he is the reason i love science because he used to read Science Kids today to me when we were growing up. he is the one who bought me my first butterfly farm and now i’ve been president of the butterfly society of indiana for the past four years! (or whatever).
  11. Parent interview: one thing that i thought was helpful was finding something i really loved about the school and creating a question that would allow the school to shine in their answer. (Asked hard questions too, but i made sure to give them a chance to shine. Ex: I noticed you do P/F for all first semester freshman. Tell me more about this commitment to helping Freshman transition into boarding school life. (or whatever). This does 3 things: it shows that I’ve done my research, and that we really want to be there. It allows me to hear about something I truly care about and find interesting. And, it allows the admissions person to show off the school they are so proud of. People love to share what they love.
  12. Definitely try to book it to tour before the interview if possible.

OK those are my takeaways I think.
Feel free to ask me any questions if I can be helpful.

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Can you get a bit more granular with the schools and impressions?

I for one would be interested in your perspective based on some of the background you provided. It’s unique to you but other families and students may relate to you and find it helpful.

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OOPS I have more to add:

In case anyone wants to know the logistics of how I scheduled out the 12 visits… I literally took a sheet of white paper and using pencil I made a rough map, placing the schools that I knew geographically where they were. So, I placed SPS and Exeter up north and east, and Lville down south. Then, I just sat there with my phone and looked up driving directions on the map app in between the schools so i could make a sketched map – like stick figures with the driving time written in between schools. I did this for 20 schools, so I could see what I could clump together. And then I started the appointment scheduling, referring to my map every step of the way as I booked.

So we basically slept near morning school 1 – got up, toured and interviewed and then got in car, recorded our thoughts, and drove to afternoon school 2, having lunch near school 2 so we weren’t stressed about traffic. Finished school 2 usually at 3 or 4 and then drove to the next town for hotel which would be by the next morning school 1. This was rhythm for 6 days. our longest day of driving was 5 hours (total) and our shortest day of driving was about 1.5 hours (total).

Note that a number of schools don’t do tours on Wednesday afternoon so just a planning tip there in case you didn’t know like I didn’t. (We grabbed the earliest am appt at one school and then grabbed the late morning 11:30 slot at another for Wednesday. It was an-eat-in-the-car day for us.

Keep a change of clothing in the car. If the trip was longer than an hour between schools, my DD changed just to be comfortable.

Also! Have a pair of rain shoes that you can wear. We brought a pair of sneakers that luckily were super cute so when it rained DD didn’t feel like it was ruining her outfit. She wore flats most of the time but we had some bad weather, so her cute sneakers were a great thing to have.

Eat well. We resisted the urge to eat just whatever we could grab. We really focussed on keeping DD energy and stamina up. Lots of water. And sure we had treats and such, but we really tried to avoid swinging by fast food or something because a week of that would not have sustained her.

Where to put the “first choice” schools – at the beginning when fresh or at the end when practiced? i was worried she might be tired by the end of the week. But, we did the “top choices” at the end and I highly recommend this approach. DD was so excited to see the couple of schools that had been dancing in her head as first choices that she totally rallied and had plenty of energy for those last couple of interviews. And she definitely felt like she hit her stride at interview 2 or 3 or so. Side note: her very first school ended up being one of her favorites! And her interview was just fine.

Nighttime, we really tried to relax, and not get too crazy about prepping. We had read all the view books and had circled a few things, and then we just pulled it out the morning of the interview and reviewed a couple of points from the school, and honestly i think we both felt very prepared. Especially if you have the tour before the interview.

OK i think I’m done.

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Private banker: I think you asking for my feedback or impressions of the schools we visited in particular? I’m trying to think about how best to share that information in a helpful manner that isn’t too clouded by my own bias.

I’ll try!

SAS – we experienced much of what we have read here. A small very supportive community where the students have mentors (big sisters and brothers who are seniors), and the community is very tight. I see why so many parents here love SAS!

Lville, Choate, Exeter, Andover – all have more a college-campus feel, with varying levels of student support and community-building efforts. Some felt a little like you would be on your own to figure out your place on campus; some less so. Definitely felt like some of these cultures would be something a freshman might need to grow into after a year or two. But the opportunities at these mini-colleges were incredible! So may be worth the year of adjusting, if the culture feels right.

Groton – Much of the warmth of SAS. Perhaps a level of rigor that was more in line with what we saw in larger schools. Also, more rules – chapel most days and a required faith activity on sundays and required classics class freshman year. Lots of traditions. This felt like a place a freshman would feel at home quickly. These dorms were my DD favorite.

Taft and Loomis had similar energy – lots of school spirit. They felt bigger than the smaller schools like groton for sure. Also, the academics seemed rigorous but balanced with campus life. interestingly, Loomis was the only school (I think) that didn’t have regular all-school morning meetings or chapels. the tour guide said they only can all fit in the gym, and it didn’t sound like that happened regularly. But Taft and Loomis might have felt the most fun perhaps.

Middlesex felt like the energy of Taft/Loomis but on a smaller scale like Groton. Also both Groton and Mx are built on a circle so there was a similar feel in some ways.

Hotchkiss – was incredibly warm! And wow the campus is gorgeous. Their integrated humanities program was truly special the way it was described by our tour guide. Also, the dress code for girls was just made a little more casual. the school spirit seemed very present and the students were very interactive. On the downside, wow there is no place to eat or stay really out that way. (well a few but they are really expensive for what they are).

Deerfield – we expected it to be stuffy because of the strict dress code, but nope. Kids were super warm and friendly. The staff and faculty definitely felt a little more traditional though.

SPS – probably the nicest kids we met – so nice to each other and to us. Very welcoming. the campus is gorgeous but huge – more like rural, walking on a path along a lake to get somewhere. NB: leave extra time for parking and walking to admissions here!!! It wasn’t well marked where to park and then you have to walk along a path by the lake.

One thing my DD ended up really loving: the idea of seated meals. Surprised us both.

Hope that helps!
I’d be delighted to hear others’ impressions.

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No St. George’s ? Too bad it’s a great spot.

My wife’s family is third generation Deerfield group. Fourth generation nephew was waitlisted last year. Which was a shock. But it was for a pg year and he’s not a sports star at all.

But it’s competitive for sure but fil and Bil talk more about their time there than Harvard or JHU which was their undergrad schools. It tells me a bit about how much they treasured their time there.

Good luck. You really packed in a lot for a week. Congrats to your student for all that work!

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Dear Calliemomofgirls, thank you so much for your very detailed information about your tours/interviews! Words can not describe how grateful I am! Your post is super helpful as we will be flying over soon in a few weeks. Best of luck to your daughter!

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Great advice!

I’m glad you and your daughter focused on cell phone culture. One thing my kids and I liked about their school was students were discouraged from having their phones out and students and faculty/staff traversed campus heads up wth a culture of greeting one another on the paths.

Seated meal was one of my kids’ favorite traditions, too. When they applied, it was something they gave points for.

“SPS – probably the nicest kids we met – so nice to each other and to us. Very welcoming. the campus is gorgeous but huge – more like rural, walking on a path along a lake to get somewhere. NB: leave extra time for parking and walking to admissions here!!! It wasn’t well marked where to park and then you have to walk along a path by the lake”

I liken it to a small village.In fact, it’s nickname is Millville. Good advice to allow a little time to park and walk to admissions - but what a gorgeous walk, particularly this time of year! Wear comfortable walking shoes.

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Tip for Hotchkiss – people stay in air b and B’s which are nice, and cheaper.

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Some good tips that translate well when planning college visits too!

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For someone that is unfamiliar with this culture…

Why boarding school at all?

Just curious.

Thx.

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Might be better if you start a new thread as that will cause this one to go off on a tangent.

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FYI, there is a web site called mapmyroute.com that will map out the shortest driving route after you enter in all of the addresses.

Great post and helpful for college visits as well. Love the voice memo idea. I had read to take notes, but the voice memo is more user friendly!

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Good point… Don’t want the OP thread to go in a different direction

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12 schools! Wow that is impressive. We did 6 (2 per day) a couple of years ago, and that was logistically challenging enough coming from Cal. But it was also super fun, quality time with kiddo. You get to learn a lot not just about the schools, but about your child.

Sounds like you did a great job with it all. We saw a few on your list, and our impressions were similar. The touring is so hard- like being a kid in a candy store. The schools are all amazing and special and strong in their own ways. The challenge is figuring out how it would actually be for your kid to live and grow in that different environment, far away from your influence. Especially coming from California- for my kid anyway there was a culture shock component to figure out.

Well done!

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@Knowsstuff: If you still have questions after reading these past discussions, feel free to start a new thread, as @doschicos suggests:

http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/2024162-good-and-bad-reasons-for-sending-kids-to-bs-p1.html

http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1607127-why-do-parents-send-their-kids-to-boarding-schools-p1.html

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@Calliemomofgirls Feel free to PM me with any specific questions about Hotchkiss. Son graduated in class of '19 and daughter is class of '20. It may seem like the middle of nowhere but there are a bunch of restaurants within a short drive (even a few that are a longish walk) and hotels are manageable with a bit of planning.

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I “second” what @Temperantia stated - We have friends who live close to Hotchkiss. It’s wonderful and there are some fun places to dine out in Millerton, NY (just a 10 minute drive or so from school). Great pizza place, diner, cozy restaurant, take-out place, book store, bike trail. Also, we love the White Hart Inn @ for dining and for overnight stays Salisbury. Great golf at school and nearby, also! Plus, you are not too far from Sheffield, MA & Great Barrington areas.

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I’d add be aware of the school’s dress code. Personal experience from the tours I found it best to be respectful but confident as the best dress option. Meaning if it was a relaxed student code, the full “traditional” prep school blazer and tie was a bit awkward for walking campus. Often a dress shirt/tie with more relaxed footwear was more than enough…dressed more than the students to show a seriousness of purpose, but demonstrated an understanding of the campus culture. Plus it made my son more confident.

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Agree with this ^^. I was pretty surprised by the number of legging/sweatshirt combos I witnessed at interviews. I suppose it’s fine but I always go by the dress up a bit to show you care but not so much that you look ridiculous rule.

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@Calliemomofgirls i am sooo appreciative of your post. We are getting ready for our trip which is in 2 weeks. Not quite on your scale, we are doing 5 schools in 3 days but our base is CT and we’ll be driving all around. Voice memo After each visit is a brilliant suggestion sure beats writing down which was the initial plan.

We are doing Deerfield, Hotchkiss, Taft, SPS & Loomis. I’ll be sure to report back!

Ps we did Blair last week since it was a drive from our home in MD.