<p>I'm going to link us up to a thread going on another board right now because I find it both unsettling and timely. The thread revolves around a poster's insistence that their kid not be allowed to view the parents' "private" financial data. This bothers me and on the thread I questioned the position while almost everyone else could see the need. I also questioned the correctness of having a kid swear to a document containing matters they were not allowed to read when penalties could flow to them for a false statement. See what y'all think. It has me bugged. Or maybe it's just easier when you can say -See the ranch? That what we have. Here's your mom's W-2 and my schedule C and F. Add that together and that's what we make. You do the math if you want too but it will still spell "m-e-r-i-t a-i-d".</p>
<p>I agree with Curmudgeon. In fact, I believe I actually responded ON that thread. The reality is that the FAFSA is supposed to be completed by the STUDENT. They are not supposed to divulge their PIN number to anyone...and no one but the student is supposed to use it. How in the world is a student supposed to honestly complete and sign this form if the parents are not forthcoming with the information? I was very troubled by the OP's post also. Very troubled. I MADE my kid sit by my side while I waded through paperwork and numbers so she would file her FAFSA.</p>
<p>Thank God I'm not alone, thumper.</p>
<p>DH, DD and I all sat down and went through the finances. She has never given us reason to believe she will share any of our private information with anyone else. She takes as much responsibility for the FAFSA information as we do, so personally, we have no problem with our child seeing our finances. Besides, I think it is good for her to know that we don't have $40k extra a year to spend on college. She knows she will have to take some financial responsibility. Although I don't agree with the OP's opinion on letting her/his child see the financial papers, I do feel sorry for him/her that they obviously don't share a trusting relationship with their child.</p>
<p>Curm,</p>
<p>I think if you re-read my post on that this thread, you will note that my concern is not keeping info away from my kid, but rather, being able to access the information myself. I do think it is very wise to talk monetary issues over with kids so they will have a head-start in life when they are faced with real budgetary restraints. </p>
<p>No, you are not alone.</p>
<p>when I think of divorced parents worrying about their exspouses finding out info- I think of my brother and his two kids with his first wife-
he juggled things to get his child support reduced, even going so far as to adopting his new wifes nephew ( who was still being supported by someone else)
The reason that comes to my mind- why you wouldnt want an exspouse to know about your finances, is that you either are afraid they will want to borrow some, or that you are afraid they will expect you to contribute more than you want to.
I actually did do the FAFSA- but D signed it- I dont' see how you could legally do it , without them signing it.
I also do her her taxes for her- but she signs them
I think I would go crazy if someone was sitting over my shoulder though</p>
<p>The divorced parent thing is the real issue here, not the relationship with the child. Unfortunately, all parents' and step-parents' incomes are considered when applying for FA. I have an amicable relationship with my ex, but applying together for FA would be hard. I know people whi have hellish relationships with their exes, and I can see where it might be completely impossible. In any event, for us, if you added all those incomes up, we would not get any FA, although I control very little of the money and do not expect my husband to pay for my son's college. Thank God for merit aid.</p>
<p>I did the fafsa and profile but my w and my kid did some of the typing (I hunt and peck). My kid wouldn't have the foggiest idea where to start but I do recall a place where it came to an electronic signature for my D. She had helped her mom and I gather the numbers and agreed to the "click". I can't remember Profile as clearly.</p>
<p>
But spikemom, the OP's question was specifically about Fafsa and not sharing their financials with the kid. fafsa doesn't consider the non-custodial parent, does it? So how would the non-custodial parent ever see or hear about the numbers? That's the trust thing, isn't it? The certainty the OP had that their "private info" not be shared BY THE KID with the the ex-spouse? Or did I read the OP"s statement wrong -"That is what will happen"? What else could that mean but that the kid will rat out the parent?</p>
<p>I'd like to add that waiting for the FAFSA deadlines to share details about finances is ... way too late. </p>
<p>I think it is pretty cruel to let students dream about schools that are financially out-of-reach or misrepresenting the reasons why some schools should not be on the list. By January, the applications are done and few miracles will occur between January and May. </p>
<p>This does not mean that families should not pursue all avenues and mainatin a healthy dose of hope of a good financial package. However, the definition of what a family could afford shoud be cleared up before the Fafsa deadline. </p>
<p>It is good to remember that more than 5,000,000 familes receive a Pell grant. Needing financial aid -and a lot of it- is not dishonorable and parents should be proud for having helped their children to be in the position of ... applying to a college. Hiding the true circumstances is however not very smart.</p>
<p>It never occured to us NOT to share all of it with our son. I can't think of anything with which I would not trust him. I guess if I trust him to take care of my only child, then what more is there?</p>
<p>curmudgeon, you're right, the FAFSA takes into account only the custodial parent, also the step-parent if there is one. But a lot of schools also require the CSS profile, which is filled out by all. I would have no problem showing my kid my financials, and asking him not to share the information. We talked money last summer so he could get a picture of what I could and couldn't afford.</p>
<p>Here's a good and true story. A long while ago, one of our statewide newspapers published ALL of the salaries of the the top several hundred state employees. Included were a great number of non-custodial parents who had not kept their ex-spouses abreast of their "increased and substantial" incomes. Follow up articles were about the large number of folks who had taken their ex's back to court to deal with child support. There are many ways that divorced parents can and do find out about the incomes and assets of one another. The finaid aps are only one.</p>
<p>sybbie posted on the other thread that Profile keeps the parents financials away from the other parent, quoted the CSS. The custodial does not see the non-custodials and vice versa. Still gets back to the kid ratting out the parent.</p>
<p>As to EK's and thumpers point-top exec's with publicly traded companies, sometimes down to rather normal-ish salaries are publicly reported each year. As are many teacher's , coaches, professors, 501 (c) employees. In Texas at least, every divorce decree I've seen in a couple of decades requires notification of job and wage rate changes instantly so that the child support can be continued accurately and unabated.</p>
<p>This year the fafsa drove me crazy: First, the PINs were lost, so I had to reapply and have my son reapply (he's off at school). Then I got the email, checked the new PIN, but like an idiot did not write it down (I could just link to it again, right?). Nope, once you see it, you can't see it again, so I had to reapply for a new one. My son was a little smarter than me - he wrote his down. So I was off to fill out everything, got it all done, but then my son had to sign it, so I was on the phone with him and suddenly my browser stopped working on that site. I was using Firefox and just one minute earlier it was working. I switched to IE - and it only partially worked (I had an older version), and on and on.... Boring story, but then I got it all done and "signed" with my PIN and then my son "signed" with his PIN.</p>
<p>And now I don't have to think about it again for a whole year :) :)</p>
<p>And we don't even qualify for need-based aid anyway. But the school still wants the form, even for the merit stuff.</p>
<p>noobie, that does not sound like fun.</p>
<p>That's what I'm frustrated about with my parents. They didn't show me any of their finances at all, even when I was looking at schools. I did want to consider their finances and ability to pay. Only my mom could give me some realistic ideas whereas my dad said apply and go anywhere I wanted to, not to worry about it. I never filled out CSS Profile or FAFSA at all. The only time I was involved was taking a quiz on student loans for one of my loans from Smith. I knew that my parents would be taking out loans because we have too much assets and we wouldn't get need-based aid at all. But when I was offered work-study at Smith, I took advantage of it because I wanted to make sure that my parents weren't cutting back their lifestyle dramatically.</p>
<p>Though I'm not offered any aid at Colgate but there's a tax break for NYS residents for attending college in-state so that's my "pay back" to them. I did consider finances with them when I looked to transfer out. I said, I'm not going to get anything at all and these colleges might be more expensive and my dad was still all "just go where you can be happy." He still did all the paperwork- which annoyed me because I didn't really want to tell them that I wanted to transfer out as early as beginning of February rather than mid-March after I sent off the applications.</p>
<p>I'm just thankful that I can at least see some of the financial aid data on Bannerweb! Like how much the loans were taken out, how much my parents wrote out a check for, etc. And funny thing, my parents can't access this particular page! So I often have to copy it and send it to them.</p>
<p>I do believe that parents should share financial information with their kids when applying to colleges so the kids have a realistic idea of how difficult it is to manage your money and set priorities. At least be economically sound.</p>
<p>Copied from my post on the other thread - </p>
<p>I've been noticing several threads that clearly show students are woefully uneducated about filing tax returns (questions such as - when do I get my returns back?). To me, completing tax returns is a "life skill" parents need to be teaching their children - in addition to balancing a checkbook, maintaining financial records, pitfalls of credit cards, how to negotiate a loan, etc.</p>
<p>I just read the other thread, Curm, and I am totally with you. The argument that disturbed me the most is the one about if the kids know what you have, they will expect more, and will not learn to be independent. Whoa! that's an upbringing issue. We have always, when we had a higher i ncome, lived far below it (so we can weather our self-chosen enormous drop in income we have now). I can't imagine our kids "expecting" some kind of lifestyle because they know what are income is (or was...) Or if they know what are savings are, etc. If their good sense deserted over that, then we've done something very wrong in their lives that goes far beyond disclosure issues.</p>
<p>I agree with c'mudgeon and others - altho I don't think S took much of an interest when the info. was in front of him. It's important, I think, that kids know the family economic situation. It helps them understand why certain choices were made, what family priorities are, how to plan for the future, etc. If parents find revealing info. to be a strategic disadvantage vis a vis a divorced spouse, there is always the option of not seeking finaid. To the parents who want to keep their kids in the dark about the family finances: are you assuming that you'll live 30 more years? 40? At what point do you think your kids can 'handle' the knowledge? If you were to die while your child is in college, would your d/s be able to figure out how to finance the rest of their education? (This does happen in the real world). I wonder if at the root of the reluctance to tell is a reluctance to say 'no'. We, as parents, don't need anyone's permission to say "we've saved for our retirement and can afford $x towards your education" and then help child find choices within those parameters. </p>
<p>Most parents die before their children. Our kids will one day know all about our financial situations. Telling them when they're about to begin the college search turns it into an opportunity for learning, rather than an area of confusion and hurt after we're gone.</p>