<p>I feel for you, OP. My D is willing, barely, to attend graduation, but is vehemently against attending the award ceremony. We only know that she was invited, not what she might get. It seems likely it would be a certificate (that 100 others will get) for getting all As in a particular field. It’s possibly something relating to being EIC of the school newspaper. They don’t tell us ahead of time. She does not feel comfortable among her classmates, and only has a few friends and they will probably not be at the ceremony. D doesn’t want to be rude, but she also does not want to attend to the point of crying about it. I don’t know what to do. Her older brother, of course, attended all events eagerly.</p>
<p>Also, how do you “force” an 18 year old to attend an optional ceremony? I’ve been stewing about this one for several weeks and am sorry OP has a similar issue to figure out.</p>
<p>My parents didn’t come to my games or my awards ceremonies, but they did go to my graduation, mainly, I think, because THEIR parents made them.</p>
<p>My mother and father were shocked to find out all the awards I’d won over the years from all the other parents who knew all about it.</p>
<p>I’m glad your son will go to the awards ceremony, and even more glad that YOU will go to witness it. Even if he doesn’t know it, it matters to him that it matters to you.</p>
<p>As for the renegade stuck in the conservative school, that is a political protest and I really think you should have gotten together a group and protested out front. Your parents could have gone to THAT! seriously. I don’t even know any straight kids around here who care one way or the other who someone wants to date. Pretty tacky.</p>
I also wanted to comment on this. It is sad when a kid feels this way, and there are many possible reasons for it.</p>
<p>But there is one possible reason (that may or may not apply to any of the kids we’re talking about here) that I think is sometimes the case for smart kids–the tendency to be a “cynical observer” of events in their own lives. I’ve seen this tendency sometimes in my own kids, and have urged them to try to overcome it. An example might be going to the dance, but then refusing to dance. Or getting the yearbook but not having any friends sign it. As I said, there may be perfectly good reasons for this kind of behavior, but I don’t think a belief that you’re “above” engaging in normal activities with the average kids is a good reason.</p>
<p>I have the opposite problem. I wOuld rather not attend events. I know this sounds like I am a terrible mom but I know graduation will be long and filled with conservative religious/social commentary that I will hardly be able to bear. But worse at graduation, I know I will cry and I don’t want to lose it in front of everyone. And then there is the anxiety of showing up hours in advance to get good seats. Ugh. </p>
<p>Graduation ceremony are a necessary evil I suppose. Long, tedious, boring, did I say long? If I could have avoided them I would.</p>
<p>I don’t go for the good seats, I would rather be in the back on an aisle for easy escape.</p>
<p>At both my ds I did not cry. Too bored and tired to cry. My bottom was tired of sitting in the church pew. Crick in my neck. Best part was waiting in line for the one bathroom.</p>
<p>“At both my ds I did not cry. Too bored and tired to cry.”</p>
<p>I thought I would cry for S1’s sixth grade graduation, yes, sixth grade, but did not. I was so annoyed I was stuck in the very back of the auditorium with student’s great aunts and cousins once removed because I did not get there two hours ahead of time. </p>
<p>Was a waterworks for S1’s first communion, but did not shed a tear at S2s. </p>
<p>Not sure what will happen for S1’s high school graduation. It will depend on where I end up sitting.</p>
<p>I’ve never cried at a graduation, or at a first day of kindergarten, or at any other major event. I’ve always been excited for my loved ones to be moving on to where life will take them next, and grateful that they navigated the roads successfully.</p>
<p>I DID, however, cry the morning I packed my kids’ school lunches for the final time on their last day of high school. Go figure.</p>
<p>For graduation…we had to be up early—dressed and waiting in a line outside–to get a good seat outside in the hot humid weather…
AND
we wouldn’t have missed it for anything. And both my dh and I blinked back some tears.</p>
<p>Of the things in life that we wait for and do…this isn’t about lines in a grocery store or gift shopping during the holidays. It is a rite of passage and even with the little things that we must do for the event…for us–we felt it is far better to spend this time this way…</p>
<p>Sure you listen to everyone else’s name called…and that is part of being in community…and not being all about yourself…Celebrating the achievements of the groupa nd the passage of time, friends together etc…</p>
<p>Sure it is “only high school”…
yet as I said, it is a rite of passage.
Persoanlly I didn’t want to go to my hs grad and couldn’t wait to get out of there…yet I think for my parents it was an important event too. I was happy to go to my college grad…and to my masters grad…by the time I got my doctorate, only my dh was there…I didn’t bother to invite my parents…</p>