Kinda confused, should I transfer? (sorry its long)

Transfer Students
1

I’m not sure whether I should transfer or not. The college I am currently at is pretty decent, in a nice area, with many opportunities, and an ok financial aid package, however, I’m not entirely happy. My first semester was pretty bad, I had trouble finding friends, got way to stressed with classes (only to realize I didn’t need to because I was just over-thinking and got A’s), I constantly felt overwhelmed by just being so far from home and constantly surrounded by peers. However, by the last few months of that semester I started making friends. Now we’re really close, but I’m still not sure how I feel about staying. I told myself second semester I would try my hardest in every possible way, healthwise, grade-wise, job-wise, opportunity-wise, socially, etc. Its been almost two weeks, and while I’m not as miserable as last semester, I’m still not as happy as I know I could be. Should I give it time or should I just move back to a college closer to home?

Staying here Pro’s:
Lots of opportunity
More independency
ALL MY CREDITS WILL STILL COUNT
Probably a better program
More able to build a resume here in terms of jobs

Staying here con’s:
Social life isn’t where I want it to be (but I’ve always been very bad at social)
Homesick
Not 100% sure of my major
More expensive (even with a scholarship)
I still have little idea about how all this college stuff works here but I’m trying

Going home Pros:
Less expensive
My highschool friends are still in the same areas
Because its less expensive there is more flexibility with deciding my major
Closer to family and everything I’ve grown up with

Going home con’s:
Only 1/3 of my credits transfer
I’ll have to start over socially (because even if my highschool friends are there I still need to make connections in college)
Start over with understanding system and all the college stuff (like how to get the internships and study abroad programs)
Closer to family (which I might rely on too much rather than growing on my own)
Can’t get a job back home (I live abroad and where I come from undergrads usually don’t get hired, even for retail jobs and such)

Its still early to decide (May 10 is the deadline for the app for the school I want to transfer to), but I thought I get this up early so that I could get some responses in time. My current GPA in my first semester is a 3.83, and even if I do badly, the most I can see it dropping in my current semester is a 3.6. I scored 1390 on my SAT (I think, but its close to that). I’ve done many extracurriculars (basketball, volleyball, debate, community service) and my highschool GPA was more than 4.0

I just feel like I could be doing so much more than what I’m doing right now. I’m not sure if its because its too early to say that I’m not doing enough, and if its really just because these things take time, or if I’ve really done all I can do and still not feel satisfied with where I am.

Its also weighing me down because its so expensive and I don’t want my parents to be paying so much for something I’m not even sure of yet. While there are opportunities here, its no use if I can’t afford them or dont know how to use them. Am I just being lazy by going home and not figuring this out? Or smart for saving the money?

Pls help

2

What is your status? Are you a US citizen studying here while your family is abroad? Or are you an international student?

How big is the financial burden for your family? Is anyone going into debt for this?

What do you think you would like to major in?

If you are a US citizen, do you have long-term work permission for the country where your family is located now, or would you eventually need to move back to the US to get a job?

There is nothing wrong with starting a transfer application, filing it, and waiting to decide after you have an acceptance.

There also is nothing wrong with taking your homesickness and other concerns to the counseling center at your current college/university. The whole job of the people there is to help students sort out what is their own best set of options. They may have useful perspective for you.

Wishing you all the best!

3

It seems clear to me that you are experiencing growing pains–which suggests that you are getting your money’s worth at your current school.

It won’t hurt to put in a transfer app as that is not a binding commitment.

I am a bit confused about whether your target transfer school is in the US or abroad. It would be helpful if you named the schools (unless you think that it might identify you).

4

@happymomof1

The status is kinda hard to explain but yeah, wherever I go I’m good paperwise. As for financial burden, it will only be bad if I mess up or need to take an extra year or do something that incurs more expense. And while that isn’t bad as long as I stay on track, I’m not even sure if this major is the one I want to do. I don’t really have a plan for the next few years and I can’t see what I can do with this major specifically. I’m taking a business major, and while thats plenty useful, do I actually want to do business? Truth be told, it was just a random topic I picked because it was safe. I guess thats my major reason. Not wanting to waste more money by having no idea what I’m doing.

But thank you for your advice about the homesickness. I actually tried to go to a counselor about that last semester, and then they put my in a group that was having a hard time adjusting, but by the time we had our first meeting, most of the group felt they were already fine which made me feel even more isolated and frustrated with myself. While I’m not feeling as homesick as I did before, there are still people I miss, like my family, and just my lifestyle there.

Thank you for answering!! I didn’t actually expect anyone to, so thank you!

5

@Publisher thank you, that makes me feel more confident. I was thinking that struggle just meant growth, and growth is always good. Also yeah, sorry its a bit confusing, I don’t know why it automatically filed the question under transfer students. I’m in my first year in college in America. I’m not originally from here. The school I was thinking of going to is at home, which for America, is abroad.

6

My DD is going thru a similar situation. She is fine where she is but isn’t feeling like it’s the best fit for her. We talked thru and agreed that she should go thru the transfer process and apply to 3 schools (since admission depends on qualifications but also on if the school has room). If she gets admitted - we will try to visit in the spring (which will be tricky geographically) so that at least if it doesn’t get better where she is - she will know she has options. Kind of like bringing an umbrella so it doesn’t rain. Right now I would say 50/50 chance of her string where she is. Just some thoughts for you

7

@Clementine7624 I’m for sure going to apply for a transfer, but at the same time, I haven’t told anyone aside from a few friends and family back home that I was thinking about it. There are so many uncertainties it just kinda unnerving, but thank you for sharing. Its nice to know that someone else is going thru a similar situation. I keep your advice in mind :slight_smile:

8

Stay, breathe, relax, and stick to your mantra that you are going to do your best in all areas. You’re doing well. Believe that. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. Stop thinking about leaving and live in the moment. You’ve got this!

9

Since you aren’t certain about your major, have a talk about that with the folks in the counseling center and/or the career center. I changed my major more than once in college, and neither of my master’s degrees have anything to do with the major I graduated with or with each other. Not necessarily a plan for you to aspire to, but rather a reminder that you aren’t alone!

You also might benefit by reading up a bit on the experiences of other third culture kids. You certainly aren’t alone in that either. You might want to look around for advising from someone with expertise with TCKs.