It depends. You can get a great education at either, and who you are will influence your experience more than anything else. But this response will discuss some of the most common differences to consider.
I also think “which” school matters to this answer, too, in terms of the student body. For example, although all schools will have a range of students including some very smart kids, U Michigan at Ann Arbor or Berkeley or their ilk will have a larger precentage of tippy-top achieving (in high school) students than say, Ursinus or Allegheny, although those also are great liberal arts schools. Go to a less selective liberal arts college than those, and the difference will become more pronounced, because some top middle class kids will always choose less expensive state universities above top private schools, but many students are less likely to pick a less competitive LAC above a more competitive state university.
My son will begin at a very selective small liberal arts college in the fall. He chose to apply there early decision, so his choice was made before acceptance. He was also accepted to our state’s most selective state university early action. It is less selective than some other states’ top universities, but still selective: about 40% of applicants. It would have some very strong students, which is important.
BUT…
The state school would have mostly large lecture classes his first few years. His LAC will have mostly small discussion-based classes. (There are literally only two large lectures: Psych 101 and Art History 101). Probably every professor you ever have at a LAC will know your name, even if you are quiet or shy.
Sometimes, state universities will have more choices of courses than do smaller colleges. That is generally a plus for larger schools: more choices! In my son’s intended major, however, his small LAC seemed to have more options per semester than the state university he was considering.
At state schools, it may be hard to get into a class with a renowned or preferred professor, especially if it is not a large lecture class. More people want it than can get in. There was never a class I could not get into when I attended my LAC. Registration was painless.
At the state school, top undergrad students who are real go-getters may find their way into close relationships and research with professors. Graduate students may get more such opportunities. At a LAC, this is more the norm for more undergrads. Professors reach out to you with opportunities, and there may be more opportunities— there are no grad students taking these roles, just undergrads.
Who teaches you? State universities may have TA’s teaching and may have more adjunct professors who may come and go. Small privates almost never have TA’s, and may have more tenure track or tenured folks there for many years of their career.
Our state school would have large dorms of mixed grades and one would make one’s own social connections. His LAC has a cozy entry system where 20 freshmen live together with a junior and there is an extensive freshman orientation program. You will find your niche in time at a large school, maybe from your favorite clubs or your major. At a small school, there often are built-in communities from the start.
Our state school has mostly New Yorkers. On the GroupMe for his LAC, he already is interacting with people from all over the nation and world.
The tight community he craves at a LAC might be suffocating to someone who prefers anonymity. A state university is like a small city onto itself. Lots of people, lots of dining choices, etc. You can cross the grounds of a LAC fairly quickly by foot and may see people you know en route. At a large state university, you may have farther to travel between parts and there will always be new people to meet.
At a LAC, it is easy to get involved in any extracurricular activity you want. There are fewer people involved, and it is easy to join and to lead.
From my state university, if you look at Harvard and Yale law schools’ undergrad origin info online, maybe one kid a year ends up at those top law schools. At his LAC, there are several students going on to these schools each year… even though the LAC has only 2000 undergrads and the state school 13,000. Ditto for PhD programs… the top LACs dominate the lists of undergraduate origins of PhDs, and his state school is not near the top 20. The top small colleges have fewer kids, but send more of them to top graduate programs!
Small schools lead to tight communities. LAC alumni tend to be loyal for life, which also drives them to donate and offer internships and networking. From my son’s college, if you want an internship or an employment offer from a top firm in investment banking or consulting or Google or something, the connections are there for you.
The small schools also will point you to and help you apply to Fulbrights and other top opportunities.
A real “go getter” can make his or her own way to the best that is available at a large state school. A less assertive kid may not have the same opportunities. At LACs, you get more built-in personalized attention, so they try to link all kids up with opportunities. At the LAC I attended, my professors and advisor kept suggesting opportunities to me that otherwise I never would have known existed.
Top LACs have endless money. If you are poor, they will pay your flights, including for a visit, all your expenses including books, etc. State schools sound like they should be cheaper, but for the truly needy, the top LAC will be less expensive. For example, my state school will give free tuition to many students, but, for many students, there is still room and board to pay. The LAC covers everything for the needy. And the resources for all students at top privates are breathtaking- the best equipment, facilities, etc.
Conversely, if you are in the $200,000-$250,000 range, where you might be full pay or small loan at a top private, your state school’s tuition will be less expensive.
So… it depends on your personality, the particular schools’ opportunities and student bodies, and your preferences. Neither is “better” per se. It is what is the best match.
Good luck! Congratulations on having two choices you find enticing!